So, I have read a lot on here and decided I will be very, (I mean VERY) selective on who I tell I even had surgery. I am honestly going to fib and when people ask me how I lost weight I will leave out the surgery.

When does a lie go to far? Who should you tell even though you don't want to?

My future roommate knows I am awaiting approval. When I bring it up, she scoffs, talks about how it's an easy way out, etc., ya'll know how they are...I have decided I want to lie to her, and not tell her if I get it. Do you think this is possible, or completely unrealistic??

(The lease is signed, it was probably a mistake...I know, that's a different story :ohmy: )

Sounds to me as though the future roomate is the one that is currently concerning you. I DO believe hiding it would be difficult at this point since it is something you already discussed, and know her to be opinionated about.

Personally from here on out whenever the subject comes up, I would simply say "I prefer not to discuss that with you, we obviously feel very differently about it" and go on. After the surgery, if she asks you point blank, tell her again "that is something I refuse to talk about with you".

Keep in mind though, that if she feels differently about this than you do----she can and may take sharing your news into her own hands, and might even consiously or sunconciously sabotage you. Is her weight an issue? Is her reaction perhaps stirred by some jealousy? Does she have concerns over stories she has heard?

Roommates can be extremely difficult, or they can be awesome relationships.....it woul dbe advantageous to you in MANY aspects to try to work this into a good relationship. Since you have discussed it already----maybe invite her to a seminar with you--let her learn, make her a part of it.

If you are wanting to keep in a secret--having the roommate on your side is a must!!! She WILL see you eat different. She WILL notice your lifestyle change some.

This is going to be hard to hide from her....think long and hard about what kind of living conditions you want.....and what you are willing to deal with to get that.

Good Luck.

Kat

I'm to be banded in a week. I've told my immediate family and a few close friends. I've just felt like it was a very personal decision and it was a hard decision to make. It's not easy. Nothing about this process so far has been easy. I don't think most people understand what an ordeal it is. This pre-op diet is about to kick my rear and I still have a week to go. My main concern is who to tell at church (I don't work and that's my network, so to speak). I just don't want to have to repeat myself over and over, nor do I want to keep explaining myself. I'm there several times a week and I know people will eventually notice. I think that after surgery I'll be so happy with it that I won't care who knows. Maybe give yourself some time to get it done and then make that decision. Maybe after she will be so impressed by how well you are doing that she will then become supportive. Maybe not. Some people will always feel that way probably because they don't understand the procedure or how it works. In the mean time, I agree with what others have said. If it comes up just be honest that because of her negative reaction to the procedure you'd rather not discuss it all with her.

Isn't this the same girl who is a nursing student? I thought I remembered you from another post. If I'm wrong, never mind. But if she is a nursing student then she really needs to learn how to show compassion for someone even though she might not agree with their choices. Even though you might not reap the rewards, I guarantee that this girl will some day look back on this and realize she could have handled it differently. Even though you might not realize it, you are teaching her something right now. She just doesn't know it. Remember it's your decision and your life. You have to do what is right for you. Good luck!

Edited April 8, 200818 yr by Bea1128
misspelled word

I have been contemplating the same thing since I found out we are going to my In-laws for the 4th of July to a reunion! None of them know I had this done and none of them ever will know if I can help it! That family would send out a mass email and burn up the phone lines to let everyone know I was banded! It would be a race to see who could tell who first!!!

I think I'm going to have to try to avoid sit down type meals which shouldn't be to hard. Mostly everyone is camping out at the lake so it'll a free for all for the most part I would think.

If they ask how I lost it I will say low carb and a less stressful job since I just changed jobs in December!

Think it'll work? :confused2:

I have told everyone that would listen!!!! I am very excited and proud that I have done something that will make me healthier and happier. I havn't had any bad responses except for one person who made a comment about spending so much money on myself. But who the heck cares what she thinks. I'm the one who has to carry around the weight. And my friends and famiily are all behind me. Hopefully soon there will be less of a behind to be behind :frown:

It sounds like she need a little more educating. Also, considering some of the more personal issues with having a lap-band, getting fills, wierd eating habits from time to time, it would be very difficult to try and hide that from a roommate. Perhaps you can have a little discussion about respect and why it's none of her business that you are having the surgery, you don't need anything from her except respect.

I am a teacher and I've let everyone who asks know about my band for this reason:

If it helps me, and will help others I want them to know about it. If it hurts me and might hurt others, I want them to know about that too so that they can choose not to have it done.

It's how I would hope to be treated by anyone else. I have had a couple of folks make the easy way out comment. I kindly remind them that I ACTUALLY paid $15,000 to do this along with all the "fun" side effects that come with it. I think we can all agree that there's nothing easy about paying off a loan! They usually chage the subject, but I know they'll thing twice about the easy way out before they say it again.

Today I told the lady behind the counter at McDonald's that I was having WLS next month! Then I told her to watch out because McD may have to declare bankruptcy.