I should be thrilled that I'm getting more attention these days. But honestly, how sad is it that people are stopping traffic to let me in these days? Last year at 313 lbs I'd wait 10 minutes to get into traffic from my office parking lot. Now, people actually stop the traffic behind them to let me in.

There's a 2nd part to this strange irritation: People often force me to make traffic moves that I'm not ready to make. They see me waiting, and they wave me in. And I politely decline cause I don't need that lane, but they sit there waving frantically, so I end up accepting their offer. This just happened at lunch, and I had to go 2 blocks out of my way to turn around. I was trying to merge into a far lane, but a guy stopped and waved me in front of him, despite my 2 denials. I end up feeling bad for all the traffic staring at me, so I just go for it and drive places I don't need to be.

Is this what normal people live like?

LOL.

You're so darn accommodating....

So am I supposed to hold my ground and keep all of Las Vegas tied up in traffic? I'm so confused! Part of me wants to get out and kiss the guy, while the other part wants me to punch him in the nose for ignoring me last year!

I also think where you live makes a difference: being fat + almost 40 + San Diego = invisible. Men and women look right through me almost like if they smile at me then they'll some how end up fat thru osmosis or something. I'm a size 18/20 now and that equates to gynormous here, especially since I live near a college and every young thing from around the country seems to live near me. Unfortunately that's part of the reason I am so heavy now - I went thru some really bad break-ups so I thought "what the heck - if I'm fat no man will want me and I won't get hurt again" - BOY, did that work! If only I could use that kind of determination for good and not evil, I'd be in my sexy clothes and actually have a life instead of spending my weekends holed up in my apartment eating my way thru the frig and watching hours of TV. Sigh.