Many of the people in the land of my exile seem to be easily offended. One young lady was terribly offended when I said the word “damn!” She had just told me that she never needed to come to math class or study, and she was still getting an “A” in the class. I believe what I actually told her was “Damn! I hate you! Please be my tutor!” Her husband is in my program, and the next day he told me how offended and hurt she was that I swore at her.

One of my all time favorite shows, Farscape, used the word “Frell” and Battlestar Galactica uses “frack” to use in place of “the f-word.” (and no, I don’t mean food….)

Last semester in my ceramics class, I broke a pot that had taken me over 6 hours to create. At which point I exclaimed “Several Bad Words!!!!” Once people had figured out what I said, they started laughing. So lately, when I need to casually curse, I will say “several bad words” or just shorten it to “bad words!”

One of the favorite swear phrases here in SE Idaho is “oh my heck!” which just always gives me a giggle.

How about "horse-feathers"? My grandma used to use it everytime she was frustrated...so visiting her was like "good morning...oh, horsefeathers...would you like some scrambled(horsefeathers)eggs for Breakfast? Here, you can put the (horsefeathers) plates on the (horsefeathers) table. Ah, horsefeathers, forget it!! Get your clothes on, we're going to McDonalds for horsefeathers breakfast!!"

She was just a wee bit unstable!!!!

Oh, and thanks to Disney Channel's Raven, I say "SNAP" for most of my expletives now! But it's hard to get on my 8 year old for using it since I am doing so!! Now, everytime I say it, she says "ohhh, mom you just cussed!!" Can't get awway with anything around her!!!

F____ a Duck!! and please don't ask me where I came up with that one.

I say this one also! I also like 'Dammit all to Hell!' and Gawd dammit (must be said with an exagerated Texas drawl), Ell-if-I-no (extinct cousin of the elephant) is a good response to a question that stumps you. Bee-Jeez-us is also a good one said loudly and with gusto, as in "I'm gonna knock the bee-jeez-us out of you if you don't get that plastic bag off your sisters head!"

When frustrated, 'well-hell' works for me!

My sister-friend uses Fuck, Fuck, Fuck or sometimes "Well Fuck Me in the Ass!" when she's really pissed off! :omg: (maybe I wasn't supposed to really spell it out)

When I'm really mad at someone, I'll use rat's ass (do they have little asses?). As in, "I don't give a rat's ass what you think!"

Also, Flyin' sheep's fuck! Used in a similar way as rat's ass.

In all seriousness though, my kids have been a sobering influence on me, in more ways than one but that's another thread, when it comes to cussing out load. My hubbie and I have given them the authority to correct us and point out our short-comings in this area. Now we affectionately call them the BAD WORD POLICE. They like it and think of it as a game. We play it often. :embarassed:

What a laugh....

My MIL had a problem saying "crap" around the grandchildren - and now she has changed it to "crayola" which all the kids are picking up on.

My favorite is "what a BEEHIVE" for B*TCH!

My autistic daughter had an issue saying "Oh, Damn" at everything that was a struggle for her.....her teacher and I pulled together to change it to "Oh Tarter Sauce" - thanks spongebob!!

Tracy

If my kids catch me with a nasty word, they correct me and try to tell me to say tartar sauce too. LOL!

My brother is 18 years younger than me. When he was two, he got really mad at me and crunched up his forehead and called me a Taco Head, and he was damn serious because he thought that was cussing. He also told me I was a horrible cook and didn't know how to make macaroni and cheese! What an insult! (Big sis used the cream packets but I prefer the powder.)

My stepdaughter would get mad when we told her no, so she'd be just as serious and say, "NO YOU SAY ME NO!"

So now when someone says no to me, I say, "No you say me no, Taco Head!" Nobody gets it, but I feel like I really told them off.

I like to say , god bless america, and FOR THE LOVE OF CHEESE AND RICE

Since the kids have come along, we have tried to fix our swearing. We have taken it to the levels we use around DH's mom. I'll be John Brown, Foot (instead of F*ck), Sheets, Freakin (another F), Oh me (instead of oh God), Good Golly Gracious is one I use a lot instead of GD. And we use the typical spongebob ones like Tartar Sauce and Fish Paste. Those always make the kids giggle, but I get a lot of weird looks.

I use "stinkin stupid" or "jack rammer" when I am in the presence of people I think may be offended by language everyone uses at some point in their live.

Used in sentences:

That stinkin stupid answer makes me really really really mad.

That guy is a jack rammer.

I know it's lame but it does get a laugh.

My personal favorite when people are upset with me is:

"Don't make me make you want to hurt me"

I curse really bad when I am frustrated. Under my breath at work even. My boss uses "snapplefritz" instead of sh*t and I have used it in my vocab now. I am so bad with the mother effer anytime something doesn't go my way. There is no way around that one...my husband just shakes his head at how quickly that and the F-word comes flying outta my mouth. I used to be bad at sayin Sweet Jesus when something deserved it, I now use Sweet Jesus but say it in Spanish as Holy Jesus instead of holy crap. Also, "I swear to Buddah" instead of "I swear to god". I'm not even religious, but they bother me for some reason...I love it when I hear creative ones fly outta peoples mouth...it cracks me up.

I know that christians are big about not cussing. I am one so I feel I can speak from experience. I still cuss in my head when I get really mad.. Is that a sin? I don't think so.

When I do "cuss" out loud my words of choice are DOODLE BUGS and POODLE POPS. Don't ask me where they came from.. Probably that 90% of my brain that I don't use.

If I really want to be serious about it...Its still cussing isn't it?

My Nana says ufta (she has a plaque & it says that it means lots of bad things). My other Grandma says Dad Blame it! & sit! I once got in trouble for trying to say fudpuckers. But my all time favorite was when my Papaw picked my 3 year old cousin up from daycare (he calls Papaw, Pat) & took him with him to pick my Nana up from the doctor's office. Once they got there Papaw told him to put his jacket on & he refused. My Papaw said, "Okay, then stay out here by yourself." My 3 year-old cousin replied, "Hell no Pat." Then when they got in the building they had to wait for my Nana. All of a sudden the fire alarm went off & they began to evacuate the building. My Papaw turned around & Courtland was standing on a table leaning against the wall with his hands behind his back. Papaw asked if he pulled the fire alarm. You guessed it. He said, "Hell no Pat." Little shit!

When we were kids, there was this funny song - a dirty camp song? - not sure where it came from, but it strung a whole bunch of curse words together............eat..bite....fuck....suck...gobble...nibble...chew...and continues along in this vein.......ya say them all in a sing-song kind of way. Hubby tells me that the comedian John Valby sang it.........I'll sing that when I get in the car after working with the 10 year olds all day, lol!

I have the ability (and sometimes the temper) to cuss like a sailor, but my youngest child (13) will ALWAYS correct me. My word of preference now is Dookey doo-doo.

My sister would say

"Un-F*ck you cause F*ck you too nice"