I've mentioned in passing how I've been experiencing a "marathon period" for the last several weeks. I just figured it's due to being perimenpausal. I've even joked that it's like the grand finale at the fireworks show.

Today I had my annual gynecological exam and it appears that there is a "growth" or "mass" in my vagina. I'll see a GYN specialist next Thursday. The nurse practitioner who did today's exam said she'd never seen anything like it. She mentioned that I could end up getting a hysterectomy.

The "C" word was never mentioned and there's no point in speculating. I'll be happy if an operation is all I need. Of course, the first question that crossed my mind is, how much weight will I lose? :grouphug:

Hi Longhorn, sorry to hear about more surgeries in your future but hold your chin up! I had a hysterectomy when I was 29. I had a fist sized mass on one of my ovaries. It turned out benign thank goodness. They left the other ovary intack. I no longer had periods but still produced the hormones or whatever they were/are so as to not put me into menopause. It was totally awesome to not have any more periods! And the old wives tale about not being able to orgasm after a hysterectomy???.... sooooooo not true. In fact it made my love life with my husband even better... not having to work around TOM. hehe. Sorry about being so graphic but just wanted to give you some encouragement! Take care and don't worry, my prayers and thoughts are with you. Dianne

oh, and I did lose like 5 pounds. I even asked the doc how much the uterus weighed. haha. Only about a pound was his reply. I was hoping for 10! LOL

I'm glad your case turned out so well! I won't be having surgery since the cancer has metastasized but I won't be having any more periods either (due to the radiation) and I won't miss them! Thanks for sharing! :tt1:

Hi Kendra,

So glad that you have a treatment plan in place. Try to be optimistic and keep up with visualizing those tumors getting stomped away by the chemo. I'm sending you lots and lots of positive energy from New York!

Im glad your back home, your such a busy person and I think you like to stay busy not being busy I dont think is very good for your mind LOL

I will be thinking of you and i'll be visualizing your tumors to be shriking !!

Let me know if you get your hair cut short im about to chop ALL Mine off , so i'll do it with ya !!

Mindy

I'm thinking of you, Longhorn. Keep up the positive thoughts. The boot stomping visualization really will help. I've heard of people meditating and visualizing their cancer being eaten up, etc, and it has helped them.

Visiting is always hard - you always try to be on your best behaviour. Well, I try but I don't do a very good job! It's nice to be home and be able to breath in your own space and "let your boobs hang out". That's what I do as soon as my m-i-l, who is visiting, goes upstairs to bed, I take that bra off and throw it in a corner!

Just breath, take in the beauty of the spring season, and laugh lots! You've got a lot of new friends here rooting for you.

Linda

Dear Kendra,

Welcome back home. I wanted to share the prayer that I've been reciting for you (in Hebrew), part of the daily ritual which is recited three times a day:

Heal us, O Lord, and we shall be healed; help us and save us, for you are our glory. Grant perfect healing for all of our afflictions. May it find favor before You, my God and my ancestors’ God, that You speedily send perfect healing from the heavens, spiritual healing and physical healing to Kendra daughter of Geraldine, along with others who are stricken. For You are the faithful and merciful God of healing. Blessed are You, L-rd, Who heals the sick of His people Israel.

Kendra, under the blue skies, amidst the green valleys and against the mountain peaks of my desert home, I send this prayer upward, along with a hug and a big dose of hope, strength and encouragement. Be a good longhorn - proud, fearless, independent and free.

By the way - I have a friend here who was diagnosed with fourth stage ovarian cancer which had metastized to her spinal Fluid. That was four years ago and she is alive and kicking, thanks to excellent medical care at Hadassah Hospital in Jerusalem (including Taxol, by the way), her loving friends and community and her incredibly obstinate Brooklyn-born nature. She actually signed her body away to the medical school at Tel Aviv university when she learned how ill she was, and now we joke about how they're going to charge her interest when she finally shows up there, many years from now. Her name is Michelle and if you'd like, PM me and I'll give you her email. She would love to hear from you.

Love, Bandpal

Hi Kendra, sounds like things are a little tough at the moment. I think you're doing really well because I think I would fall apart if I was given news like that. You know you can always come here for the support you need. The people here have said some beautiful things to you so take strength from that and know that we all care about you and want you to fight this and get well. xx

Gosh Kendra so much different information and treatment plans for you to adjust to with each new Dr and facility. It must be like being on a crazy roller coaster!

Sounds like you finally have a plan now and that's a good thing. KICK the crap out of those tumors and get well.

BANDPAL: You have such a great way of putting feelings into words, I'm sure Kendra is touched by your prayers.

To all of you, and especially Bandpal, your caring and support are almost overwhelming! Thank you so much!

It seems that each step of this journey brings new anxiety and then I get used to it -- as much as one can! :biggrin:

My husband and I went out to dinner and a movie last night -- to a theater that offers both at the same time -- and saw Leatherheads, which was a fun, enjoyable movie. That helped me get my mind off of things for a little while.

I upgraded my Netflix membership so that I could get a bunch of movies sent out tomorrow and hopefully get them on Tuesday. That will give me something to do while I'm doing the chemo since I've had trouble concentrating on reading a book -- though I'll bring one, just in case. There are four people in a "pod" and each pod has its own TV with DVD player, also, but I'll bring my laptop, just in case. I don't know if they have wireless internet but I can watch my movies or listen to music.

So I'm getting psyched up kicking this thing, with your help and the chemo. Thanks again! :regular_smile:

What a great idea to bring movies, you'll get your mind occupied on something else while there and the time will go by faster. You've actually managed to make chemo sound like a relaxing activity and that can only a good thing. If you're relaxed, your mind is relaxed.

I've heard that people that end up on a similar chemo schedule end up bonding as friends, so maybe you'll meet a few new people, but don;t forget us here on the forum and check in with us if they have wireless!

Longhorn, if you can't focus on a book, get lots of those juicy magazines on movie stars. They're brainless but lots of fun - and can get addicting!

Yesterday I was examined for the first time since I had radiation by the doctor who saw me before radiation, so the first time to measure the effects of radiation. My doctor was VERY pleased that the tumor has shrunk. She must have said three or four times how impressed she was. Then she said, "If that thing keeps getting smaller, we might even be able to take it." (Previously, it was considered inoperable.) Then she said, "If we can get that chemo to get rid of the cancer in your lungs, you just might be one of the people who beats this thing!" This is the most optimistic she has been since this all started. My radiological oncologist practically jumped up and down when he heard this news.

I had a fantastic first day of chemo today -- never thought I'd be saying that -- but it was "almost" like spending the day at a spa. I had people seeing to my every need, chatting with me, and the IV and various drugs were painless. A man whose wife was getting chemo brought me a Quiznos sandwich when he was getting one for his wife! A volunteer who is a three-year cancer survivor brought me juice and crackers and stayed and chatted with me from time to time, which I really enjoyed. My nurse was fantastic -- he just got his masters degree and has become a nurse practitioner -- went to A&M and UT. I'm actually looking forward to the next two sessions.

Tonight I'm feeling great! I know that it can take a day or two, or more, for the side effects to kick in but I'm enjoying feeling good right now.

I have a prescription for Emend nauseau for today, tomorrow, and Friday. I also have a prescription for another drug for nausea as needed, but I understand that that can also make me sleepy. So I'm investigating the idea of making some marijuana Cookies to have on hand to help with nausea with making me sleepy (or stoned!) so that I can teach my classes on Mondays and Wednesdays. I know that ginger can also help with nausea so my daughters and I are trying marijuana ginger cookies (marijuana has been decriminalized in Texas if in small amounts.) I'm 52 years old and this will be the first time I ever try it!

So do y'all have any suggestions or advice? And feel free to a kick to my cancer's ass (just don't miss! )

Hey Kendra that is great news. Staying positive has obviously helped and it sounds like these people are really good at what they're doing. I am so happy for you.

Marijuana... a blast from the past... good luck with your baking!! :huh2: Just be aware that some people can get paranoid when they smoke it but generally people feel good and mellow.

Kendra, Great news and you sound so happy and optimistic (or is that the "special cookies" talking!) Ha!

I smoked a couple times, didn't care much for it, never had it in a baked goodie though. Come to think of it with my love for sweets that would have most likely been the way to go for me! Maybe it's a good thing I never tried it that way.

Look at the wonderful people you are meeting. This is one of the things about finding out you have cancer or other disease, it can become such a positive experience, even though it's hard to believe that. Such a learning lesson and teaches us whats really important in life.

Great, great, great news!:huh2:

Its something I have considered for my migraines , several people have suggested it for me too . I did not like smoking it in my teens but Cookies .. hummm !!! LMAO

Good luck girly you know im pulling for ya !!

Mindy

Kendra, Great news and you sound so happy and optimistic (or is that the "special cookies" talking!) Ha!

I smoked a couple times, didn't care much for it, never had it in a baked goodie though. Come to think of it with my love for sweets that would have most likely been the way to go for me! Maybe it's a good thing I never tried it that way.

Look at the wonderful people you are meeting. This is one of the things about finding out you have cancer or other disease, it can become such a positive experience, even though it's hard to believe that. Such a learning lesson and teaches us whats really important in life.

Great, great, great news!

No, I haven't had any "special cookies" yet -- just plain ginger Cookies. :tt2: I want to ask my doctor about it before I try the other kind. I know it's not wise to mix medicines, even natural herbs.

Thanks! I'm glad there are good days to go along with the bad! :huh2: