Today during dinner my husband said two things that I wasn't quite sure how to feel.

I was embarrassed and bothered.

First thing - As I was eating some lasagna he says "You aren't suppose to eat that much. Are you?" :smile:

2nd thing - Wow! Nothing to drink? You use to drink 15 glasses of soda during dinner. :thumbup:

Besides wanting to say "Um, You aren't Stone Cold Steve yourself, Chubs." I was wondering if I've became wayyyy too sensitive with this surgery...

How are you and your peeps (significant others) handling the new lifestyle?

Where's the support coming from?

Lastly - Good luck gals :crying:- We've worked really hard to get to this point...

Today during dinner my husband said two things that I wasn't quite sure how to feel.

I was embarrassed and bothered.

First thing - As I was eating some lasagna he says "You aren't suppose to eat that much. Are you?" :crying:

2nd thing - Wow! Nothing to drink? You use to drink 15 glasses of soda during dinner. :thumbup:

Actually, it sounds like he was TRYING to be sympathetic and caring.

It sounds to me like he was concerned in the first statement, and possibly (hopefully) proud of you in the second statement.

Sometimes it is hard to understand men...

My teenage daughter actually makes similar comments, and I know she is just being supportive (in her own way).

She is proud of my efforts, but also critical of my shortcomings... both of which I need.

Maybe you should respond with:

1st comment - I am actually eating A LOT less than I used to, dear. Thank you for caring enough to ask :smile:

and

2nd comment - Yes! Aren't you proud of me for doing so good? Thank you for noticing :smile:

If he is sincerely trying to support you, these types of comments might encourage him to be even MORE supportive.

If not, they will surely shut him up!

Knowing how men can be, sounds harmless to me. As has been a topic of discussion today -- men really just don't think the same way we do. Notice how your first reaction was to want to insult him because you felt insulted? Guys don't react the same way.

First thing - As I was eating some lasagna he says "You aren't suppose to eat that much. Are you?" :smile: I would think this could come from him not understanding what your eating guidelines are, or not knowing what your portion was. Harmless, IMO.

2nd thing - Wow! Nothing to drink? You use to drink 15 glasses of soda during dinner. :thumbup: Believe it or not, I could see this being meant as encouragement and compliment. A sort of "Wow, you're really making progress is changing your behaviors!" Maybe I speak Guy better than I thought!

Besides wanting to say "Um, You aren't Stone Cold Steve yourself, Chubs." I was wondering if I've became wayyyy too sensitive with this surgery... Well, you definitely reacted definsively/critically. I'd say your surgery is definitely a deeply emotional experience for you, but not necessarily "too sensitive".

How are you and your peeps (significant others) handling the new lifestyle? I'mf ine with it, I've adjusted well. My husband sometimes forgets - understandable, I don't make a daily thing of it. He personally adjusted fine. He really tries to support me in his own akward way, which is sweet but... good thing I'm not the type that needs much support.

Where's the support coming from? Hmm - not sure I can explain this since I think we have different approaches. I don't really need a lot of support outside of what I can provide myself. I appreciate it when my husband makes a decision with my band in mind (although sometimes it annoys me), but if he neglects to consider my band, it's not a big deal. I don't need a lot of "atta boys" or compliments. I just need to see myself making an amount of progress I'm satisfied with, or look introspectively to see what I need to change. From there I either change it, or consciously acknowledge to accept the consequences.

Lastly - Good luck gals :crying:- We've worked really hard to get to this point... :smile:

My DH has been very supportive. He congradulates me on my weightloss, encourages me to go work out (even though I haven't been doing it like I should), and doesn't comment on my eating. The one thing he does that could be better is not tempt me with foods I should not be eating. The other night my family ate chilly cheese dogs and I kept saying that I wanted one but I know I didn't need one. He kept saying if you really want one than eat one so I ended up feeling like it wouldn't be that bad and gave into temptation. I would of prefered it he didn't say anything to my comments. But it was still my own choice to give in so I can't blame him for it.

Men are generally problem solvers, so if we present a problem, like "gee I really want a cheese dog, they logically say "have one"... problem solved.

Women are different. What we want someone to say is, "honey, but you asked for my support and you're really looking great since surgery, so why don't you have a little cottage cheese or Protein bar to take the edge off your craving"

Mars and Venus!

Grace -

Conrats on the changes you've made!

Regarding your question about how others are handling their "peeps", I find that when I am with family or friends who know I'm banded that I feel the need to explain what I'm eating. I know they can see that I'm eating less and losing weight but I also feel like they are really concious of what I'm eating. I've decided to talk them through every step...letting them know my thought process regarding my meal choices.

Ultimately as they see that I am sucessful they will relax and trust that I'm doing what's best for me. Good luck and thanks for sharing.

I wish my DH would hold me more accountable. I know he is proud of me but he never really asks me about what I am eating or encourages me to exercise. I know it should come from me but I would like more support. Yes, I have talked with him about it but he sees it as it needs to come from me not him.

Actually, I've got a person on here holding me accountable for my blog confessions. I thought it would be cool to start a blog after reading a couple of peoples. I'm starting to think it was a mistake. I really don't like people thinking they can go ahead and judge me and my commitment to this process. Well, let me rephrase that, I would appreciate the comments from someone who's been banded for a while, but not some extra new person in their initial weight loss high.

Sorry, I'm just venting a little bit. Just really ticked me off to be judged by somone whose been banded for 2 weeks.

I'm afraid my friends are going to become the "Food Police".. which I truly don't need.. My hubby is very supportive, he helps with the cooking and tries to fix food I can have or at least I can get down. He walks with me and if I eat something that doesn't go down right, he's right there in case.. Now as for the friends.... they watch my intake, commenting the whole time, counting the chews and bites.. gezzz I try to stay positive with them,, but dang... I didn't do this, to be dogged.. I can handle it.. I'm learning to restructure my eating.. so to my friends... SHUT UP!! IF I WANT YOUR NOSE IN MY PLATE, I'LL ASK YOU... LOL

I had that problem with my mother tonight. She questioned my choice of dinner (refried Beans pureed with enchilada sauce...1/2 cup serving). She said it was too thick to go through the band. First I said, my first fill is in 2 weeks so I have no real restriction at this point. Second, the mixture was thinner than the pudding I was eating a week after surgery.

I gave her my folder before the surgery to read what my requirements would be. She took it and set it down without ever reading it. So it's frustrating that she makes comments without knowing what is what.

I think the best support I've been getting is from my one sister-in-law. When I house sat for her she was all concerned I wouldn't have enough to eat there. I told her I had my Boost, Carnation Instant Breakfast and cottage cheese. I had so much homework to get done that weekend I'm sure I'd forget about eating. She has been great during all of this. I know she's envious about my surgery. She can't afford to have the surgery. Her husband is self-employed and has a policy that covers the very, very basics. I know when I win the lottery, paying for her surgery would be the first thing I did.