I'm having some major anxiety today. My surgery is in 3 days and I'm FREAKING OUT. I don't know if I can go through with this, I really don't. I'm seriously scared right now and I don't know what do to. My DH is trying to be supportive, he's been very supportive, but I honestly think if I told him right now that I was cancelling, he would be ecstatic. I'm just so unsure about it right now and I just don't know what to do. I'm sick to my stomach I'm so stressed right now.

I just really need to get this out to people that maybe understand what I'm going through right now. Were you this nervous beforehand? How do I get through this? Help me please! :cursing:

Hi Amber,

I congratulate you on coming to your decision together with your husband. We all know that you can shed the weight on your own. The band is only one type of tool. I did a search for all the threads started by you and know how excited and anxious you are to loose the 100 lbs. Right now I know that you are determined, but also know that like us in bandland, you will face days of doubts. I'm posting the following from Todd Blog Todd Blog » Lap-band Journey about his ultimate decision to get banded. I'm not doing it to guilt you into getting the band, but instead to motivate you at times that motivation seems hard to find so as NOT to let the same thing happen to you that happened to Todd (gaining weight after deciding not to have surgery). I know that for myself, sometimes I need a kick in the pants when the going gets tough and I start to feel sorry for myself. Reading how giving up has affected others and their motivation to change is often just the 'lift' I need.

From Todd's Blog...

Just about six years ago I was sitting in the Gastric Bypass clinic listening to people talk like those this weekend of the “Gastric Dream”. When she said I was rushing into it I was sad, because she has no idea what the last six years have been for me. I understand she does not live in my mind and cannot feel what I felt being at 305lbs six years ago saying “screw that I WILL lose it on my own”. And then she was not there for the one hour per night lap swim then onto the half hour weight lift, the eating of nothing but meat for 6 months as I quickly melted away 80 lbs. When I had reached 235 lbs and my body stopped losing, I can remember like it was yesterday, saying I will never ever allow myself to get that fat again!

I am now at 335lbs. Officially 100 lbs heavier than I was a 4 years ago.

I cannot stop my addiction and the worse part is, when I swim my sholders begin to fail me and when I run my knees fail me, when I bike my ankles, back, and butt fail me. So where does that leave me? A soon to be cripple. Sure I could wait six months trying to modify my behavior, trying to resist the constant attack of the Cookies and crap that are around me at home and at work… sure I can try all of that and then what? In four years be here saying…. Four years ago I weighed 335 now today at 435 I am crippled, having open heart, and having joint replacement and…. NO NO NO!!! Not this time!

God has the power to take away my surgery and he did not. I asked and still ask. “God, if this is not the right way to handle this then please take it from me.” In return god gave me the insurance acceptance at 100%. I have heard no words saying no, so I am proceeding under the assumption that god has blessed my decision to do this. If he did not all he would have had to do is deny my insurance request. Sitting in that office this weekend, I asked everyone around me if their insurance coved it… No, no. no. no. no. no. Wait a minute, you mean you have united health care, you have a higher BMI than I, you are on high BP meds, you have more co-morbitity than I do and you were denied? Thank you god for gifting me with this.

Thanks to Todd for his inspiration blog.