I've always joked that I came out of the womb with an addictive personality. Born to two parents with substance abuse and alcohol abuse issues, childhood trauma and other things always seemed to point me down the path of poor life choices that resulted in addict type behavior.

I used off and on from the time I was 9 until I was 21 and then again from 23 to 29. I've been clean and sober now for 10 years and had no idea how heavily I relied on my ability to gulp down fizzy drinks or snack when I fell overwhelmed or overstimulated until after surgery.

To make things better, I have a depressive disorder and a complete repulsion to my medication. I've tried five or six different antidepressants and the only ones that work and actually help stabilize me emotionally I'll give me serious nausea even just thinking about taking them.

I guess I'm here to see if anyone else has major addict energy and what exactly you poured yourself into post-op? I feel like my life is falling apart. I am down 75 lb since the middle of September. I feel like I look exactly the same. I'm so overwhelmed with work just logging in makes me nauseous. And today my daughter told me she misses me being a fat mom because I had more energy and wasn't so sad.

FYI, I am currently on a wait list for a psychiatrist to see if I need to get on any kind of meds aside from what I'm already on and on a wait list for a counselor, but my provider says it could be up to 3 months more before I get in to see anyone. I kind of don't know what to do and I'm tired of sleeping my life away. Help.

I cant' really speak to any of this having never been through it, and not being a medical person or counselor, but the 75 lbs - if you've lost 75 lbs since September, I'm sure you look different. It's sometimes hard to tell from month to month by looking at yourself in the mirror, so I had my husband take pictures of me - all four sides (front, back, left side, right side) - every month on the date of my surgery (in my case, the 3rd of every month). We did this every month until I hit maintenance 20 months later. It wasn't always easy to tell from one month to the next, but if I compared pictures to those taken three or four months earlier - yep - big difference!