No help for us. We are fat, we are gluttons, we are weak and undeserving of help, sympathy, or adequate medical care. Like Orson Wells said, “Gluttony is not a secret vice.”

Do I believe that? Some days I do in fact believe it, when I’m down, and lately more because of how ill I have been. Mostly it is a load of hog wash. Fat does not equal ugly.

There has long been a weird relationship with food, the body and the Christian church. And of course, we all know the impact that both Protestant and Catholic sects have had on Western Civilization…

Some of the Christian based weight-loss schemes are screaming “fat people don’t go to heaven,” and “use our program based on Leviticus and you will loose weight and be closer to God!” Sorry, I’ve read Leviticus, and I am NOT eating bugs…. (I call them schemes because I think we all here have come to the understanding that “diets” are just schemes…) If you had better self-control, more self-esteem, more will-power, were a better person, loved God more…. You would lose weight and be a better person.

There is no understanding for the overweight from most doctors. Before my husband had his band installed, the cardiologist said “Have you just tried cutting out sweets?” Now, on the face of it, this is good advice, advice we could all use. However, this showed a complete lack of understanding on the part of the doctor. You see, before my husband had his band installed, he weighted 596 pounds with a BMI in the high 80’s. Cutting out sweets would have certainly helped, it wouldn’t have stopped my husband from eating two or three fast-food meals at one sitting, or any of the other overeating behavior some of us know intimately, and other behaviors we are only starting to understand in ourselves and others.

I am currently having difficulty with my asthma: hospitalizations, steroids, greatly reduced lung function, other things as well. What am I told? Well, just lose some weight, we aren’t going to help with this, we are just going to pass judgment on you. Sudden and unexplained weight gain? Well, just don’t eat as much… (never mind that I gained 10 pounds overnight with severe edema…). I have to suspect that part of Delarla’s current adventure with gauze might have been caught earlier if she was thin.

I was told by my doctor that I just need to take up running. Yes that’s right, take up running. Can you imagine a woman with a BMI in the high 40’s running? (Please see the thread about giving one’s self black eyes…)

Being fat or overweight or big boned, or under tall, or metabolically efficient or famine resistant doesn’t make us failures, bad people or jerks. We might be over sexed (skin is the largest sex organ…), but we are not failures, or bad people or jerks. If we are failures or bad people or jerks, it is independent of our weight or size.

Warning: personal religious beliefs to follow...I respect the fact that we all don't share the same beliefs, I won't blast yours if you will treat mine with respect please. (not YOU Crystal, just anybody reading and getting their panties in a wad cuz I believe whatever)

If you had better self-control, more self-esteem, more will-power, were a better person, loved God more…. You would lose weight and be a better person. .

I'm so glad you bumped this...back when I first read this post, I was doing a Bible Study on Femeninity with a lady at my church. Great study, but I was also able to find the words to say aloud that I really felt spiritually inadequate because of my weight. I'm NOT, but I still felt that way. Hello, I weighed 220+ pounds and really have this deal going with food. SOMETHING is wrong!! Do I not believe God's promises to me? Am I not "owning" them? The Bible says lots of good things about God's love for me and how He can and will help me and it really doesn't have anything to do with ME being worthy, but HE being full of Grace and Truth.

This was really a comfiming factor in saying yes to Banding. I felt so much that there was room for me to grow, spiritually, but my fat ass was in the way. The tug between the Nirvana, if you will, of self love rooted in God's love, and self-loathing rooted in, what? self-centeredness that makes me self-important enough to do something this drastic for my appearance? Blah, blah, blah. I still struggle with a sense of selfishness, a fear that what I have done is NOT God-honoring, won't be blessed by Him, whatever.

Call me a prisoner of my own spiritual beliefs, who knows? But I also feel I will never be able to find out what there is to know and understand while stuck in this big ole body.

Thanks for keeping me thinking!

Cathy,

Ditto,ditto,ditto,ditto.......I could not have said it better in a million years.

The feeling that the Lord might just reject me even though I know that is not Who He is....never left me....my failure was sometimes like a huge wall in my spiritual life.I have overcome a lot of other things in life,even stopped smoking after a long time.....(hardest thing I've ever done...)

Being this overweight made me so self centered.Everything in my life (and that of my family...) ended up being about me and my fat.....inability to live normal.Depression about failure.Rejecting myself for this....NEVER OVERCOMING EVEN WITH ALL THE CHURCH PROGRAMS.....FIT FOR PRAISE.....ect. ect....The self rightiousness experienced by some that one day I will get it,obviously not yet........

I realized the greatness of God in operations like this.The fact that He did allow me to get help because I needed help.That is also relying on Him.

Anyway,me me me me me me......might stop once living becomes easier and moving around and doing things is more enjoyable.......When the obsession with weight and the scale and diet and food is gone....

Great day for all.

when I was in high school my dad gave me a great essay to read. I don't remember who wrote it, or even the name of the essay, but it was old. It was called something along the lines of "The importance of being selfish."

What?! the importance of being selfish?! How could that be, being selfish is a very bad thing, or so we are taught. I wish I had a copy so I could pass it on to my son.

Being selfish is not being greedy. Being selfish means that you make sure that all your needs are met so that you can meet the needs of others. If you do not take care of yourself, you cannot adiquately care for others, and they will suffer because you do not care for yourself. You cannot fill a glass from an empty pitcher.

I think the best example of Being Selfish is the example of the oxygen masks dropping. You are directed to put your mask on before you attempt to help anyone else.

bumping cause I wanna

Thanks for bumping. I didn't see this before. I am just mentally struggling this morning and anything helps.

I am working out of country right now. My on site advisor told me last night that my surgery was unncessary because one time he was overweight and he changed his eating plan and lost all 18 excess pounds. Big diddly squat!

Crystal-Thanks for bumping this again (I love that "bumping cause I wanna"). I read it before, but it's one of those things that make us really think about our journey and not just that goal weight.

BTW....I think you're awesome! Hope someday we can meet!

*gasp* He lost an entire 18 pounds???? Alert the presses! Somebody call Oprah! Or maybe Jerry...

People just don't understand what we have to deal with. For some of us, I think it is a complext matter, And not every one has the same complexities. One size fits all fits none.

Thanks Darcey! I think you're pretty cool yourself, Will you be going to Vegas?

When I talked to my Dr. about weight loss surgery...he wanted to put me on diet pills....I took my first at 15 and I am now 53...I don't want any more speed....normal sized people don't have a clue...I am so glad I found you guys..

bumping for HeavyLady

AMEN! Pass The Salt.

I've had this argument with my very petite half-marathon running sister who every so sweetly suggests that I decrease the fat in my diet. She used to be a pack a day smoker, I said to her that for the chronic overeater, losing weight would be very like giving up smoking. All the issues she struggled with and spoke about whilst quitting I could identify with completely! She simply could not see it. She said "no, but you have a physical addiction to nicotine, you dont with food". Excuse me? How is it any different?

I think most people think of it like this - and especially medical professionals. They simply cannot understand the issues. If you're not a chronic overeater yourself you absolutely cannot fathom how hard it would be to just "go on a diet". If people would cut you the slack they do smokers it would be a different thing.

I love being told by the tiny Asian doctor who must weigh 50kg on a fat day that I should just "lose some weight". Then he proceeded to tell me that because he sits at a desk all day he doesnt eat lunch, that's how he's not fat. I apparently need to lose the 3 meal a day mentality. (um, 3? What about the other 5, lol)

I also got a lecture from the physio about my weight and how I really should just lose some for the sake of my foot. Then the next appointment I'm waiting in reception and the receptionists were talking about who ate all the chocolates in the kitchen and it was Rory (the physio!).l Geez that made me furious. Hypocrite! Just because you're blessed with a metabolism that means you can be a piggy and get away with it, how dare you stand in judgement of somebody who's not so lucky, for the very same behaviour!

I think your likening to cigarettes is great. My boyfriend is a little beanpole, and I mention stuff to him on the boards (like the 'just eat less' comments), and say "now, that would be like me tell you to "just don't have beer anymore". He's not a problem drinker, but he does like his beers, and he understands that analogy quite well.

Just tell your sister "you can't quit food cold turkey, don't tell me how hard it is or isn't".

ha.

edited to add that what I said was said with humor, not spite

bumping because it needs to be

It's a great thread - and it merits a second read-through. Sadly, I don't think that even I could eat all the normies - there are just so MANY of them...

So, I guess we'll just have to try to educate them. AND - for the person who says we don't have a physical addiction to food - UM HELLO?!?!?! If you stop eating, you DIE.

I would call THAT an addiction for sure.

GREAT THREAD! Thanks for bumping it Crystal. I needed this! YOu are truly one of the greats on this site!!!