I KNOW THIS IS THE MEN's ROOM..... But i need a mans point of view. So a very close friend confided in me that she found out that her husband has a bottle of Viagra. She didn't tell or confront him about it..... But she keeps count. She is what i think an attractive woman. She asked me if I think she should confront him.

I don't know how to answer her.... On one hand i want to say.... Yes confront him and ask him why he didn't feel comfortable enough to go to her and tell her he maybe having problems. (they still do have sex just not as often) But this would be telling him that she has been monitoring his use.

The other half of me wants to say ..... keep it to yourself for fear of the damage that could come from it..... I don't know if shame is the right word... but he may fell that way and it could damage her marriage.

What is the thoughts from a mans POV? To confront or not???? Help me out... for once i'm at a loss for words.

My first impression is, as long as the amount of missing pills matches the sexual encounters, she should keep it to herself and be glad he is addressing an issue that effects them both. Vitality is an important thing to men feeling like a man. He may see it as a blow to his ego.

I'm 54 and I use it. I don't go telling everyone about it, although my wife knows. Keep in mind that it works, but its not all that pleasant. There are unpleasant side affects that are uncomfortable. Also remember, men feel the performance pressure.

Just my .02 but what do I know.

2 hours ago, JConforti said:

My first impression is, as long as the amount of missing pills matches the sexual encounters, she should keep it to herself and be glad he is addressing an issue that effects them both. Vitality is an important thing to men feeling like a man. He may see it as a blow to his ego.

I'm 54 and I use it. I don't go telling everyone about it, although my wife knows. Keep in mind that it works, but its not all that pleasant. There are unpleasant side affects that are uncomfortable. Also remember, men feel the performance pressure.

Just my .02 but what do I know.

My thoughts are like yours.... if they match up... let it be. I’m going to talk to her Tomorrow. I was thinking about the performance aspect too. Then I thought that if he learns that she is monitoring that...he might feel like the trust is gone.
might I ask.... what are the side effects you are talking about?

for what it is worth, I'll give my opinion. Like JConforti said, if the number of pills matches the number of encounters, then she probably should not bring it up. He may be very sensitive about this topic and probably hasn't felt comfortable discussing it with his wife. But, he is taking action on something he needs help with. However, maybe your friend could bring up the topic of performance and health in a less judgemental way, like asking him if he feels pressure to perform or if he has any concerns in that area- without mentioning anything about the pills. When he is ready, hopefully, he'll talk with her about it.

My thoughts are like yours.... if they match up... let it be. I’m going to talk to her Tomorrow. I was thinking about the performance aspect too. Then I thought that if he learns that she is monitoring that...he might feel like the trust is gone.
might I ask.... what are the side effects you are talking about?

Seeing everything in a shade of blue, headache, constricted nostrils... to name a few.

I'd like to chime in here about drawing conclusions from the pill-counting. If the man can't get an erection without the Viagra, what if he uses it to masturbate? Counting the pills vs the number of times he and the wife get together might lead her to be suspicious he's having an affair even if he's not. The fact that he's hiding the pills suggests he's sensitive about the subject but I'd still bring it up. After all, women go through their own changes as they age, too. Maybe frame it like that--they are both aging and changing and need to be able to talk about the changes.

I knew i came to the right place. I talked to my husband last night about it and got his POV. He is in agreement with you all. That he is probably uncomfortable talking about it with her. I guess it's like woman and menopause.

I'm planning on telling her exactly what you all said.

I have another question..... could medical problems also contribute? She said he has had some teeth problems and has been on antibiotics and pain meds. Take Rx for high blood pressure.... and some other things i dont quite remember.... maybe ADD med.... Could all this be a contributor?

I was thinking just the mouth would be enough.... she said they normally have sex 3-4x a week and over the past month its been once a week. and everytime he has taken the purple pill.

3 hours ago, BayougirlMrsS said:

I knew i came to the right place. I talked to my husband last night about it and got his POV. He is in agreement with you all. That he is probably uncomfortable talking about it with her. I guess it's like woman and menopause.

I'm planning on telling her exactly what you all said.

I have another question..... could medical problems also contribute? She said he has had some teeth problems and has been on antibiotics and pain meds. Take Rx for high blood pressure.... and some other things i dont quite remember.... maybe ADD med.... Could all this be a contributor?

I was thinking just the mouth would be enough.... she said they normally have sex 3-4x a week and over the past month its been once a week. and everytime he has taken the purple pill.

Some meds for high blood pressure cause erectile dysfunction. It sounds like he also could have some medication interactions that might be a problem if he's taking a lot of stuff.

It could be any number of, or combination of things. From physical to emotional/mental.

If he still wakes with an erection most mornings then its probably not a physical thing.

I still do wake with a BEMHO but I have a problem maintaining an erection during sex so the pill gets the job done. He may be having a similar issue, his drive may be falling off.. could be many things.

2 hours ago, JConforti said:

It could be any number of, or combination of things. From physical to emotional/mental.

If he still wakes with an erection most mornings then its probably not a physical thing.

I still do wake with a BEMHO but I have a problem maintaining an erection during sex so the pill gets the job done. He may be having a similar issue, his drive may be falling off.. could be many things.

You guys are the best..... thank yall so much

Another problem with counting pills... sometimes we guys are overly “optimistic.” viagra takes some time to kick in so if we anticipate wrongly (who us?!) it can go to waste. As far as not telling her I know from experience that some women assume we can turn it on and off at will and assume if there is an issue with this imaginary on/off switch that there is a problem with attraction, and no matter what you say they grill you about it endlessly, so you learn it’s best to just not even bring the subject up at all, which in the case of ED medicine means not telling them about it at all.

4 minutes ago, Slightly Less Fatty Matty said:

Another problem with counting pills... sometimes we guys are overly “optimistic.” viagra takes some time to kick in so if we anticipate wrongly (who us?!) it can go to waste. As far as not telling her I know from experience that some women assume we can turn it on and off at will and assume if there is an issue with this imaginary on/off switch that there is a problem with attraction, and no matter what you say they grill you about it endlessly, so you learn it’s best to just not even bring the subject up at all, which in the case of ED medicine means not telling them about it at all.

X2

1 hour ago, Slightly Less Fatty Matty said:

Another problem with counting pills... sometimes we guys are overly “optimistic.” viagra takes some time to kick in so if we anticipate wrongly (who us?!) it can go to waste. As far as not telling her I know from experience that some women assume we can turn it on and off at will and assume if there is an issue with this imaginary on/off switch that there is a problem with attraction, and no matter what you say they grill you about it endlessly, so you learn it’s best to just not even bring the subject up at all, which in the case of ED medicine means not telling them about it at all.

so true.....

there are somethings you just have to go to the "guys room" for.

Update:..... She will keep it to herself and just be mindful. She is a very christian woman and she said she's keeping shut and is going to pray about it.... i've learned to agree.... she is such a great friend

Thanks to you all and if things change.... i'll let yall know.