Hi. I am really struggling. I can't even believe I am saying this after wanting this for over 17 YEARS! BUT I am second guessing going through with the surgery on Sept 2nd.

I want to preface this with this: I do not feel that just one of these instances has me worried, it's the accumulation of all them all. So please bear with me while I try to explain and thanks in advance for listening.

My surgeon I have chosen has excellent reviews. His office staff is so kind when I speak to them, but honestly I had to call them and remind them of things almost every step of the way. I blew it off at first, but even one of their reviews mentions irritation with the office. AND then, I never even saw my surgeon one last time before surgery. I didn't even know which surgery I was having until my GP doctor's receptionist told me which surgery was listed on the paperwork she received! I have received emails from him personally which was great, but the paperwork he sent for the prep before surgery wasn't even his own. It was from a total different state like off another doctor's website. Then, his intro to my email was "Hey", not my name and his signature on his email was not "Dr." It was not even his full name it was as if he was emailing a friend because he signed it with a nickname. I hope I am explaining this all well.

Anyway, then... the day I started communication with the actual surgery center they were beyond unavailable. They called me, but I was unable to give them information because I wasn't home, but I rushed home and called them 20 min. later and noone answered and I was told to "wait by the phone" and after 5 hours of sitting by the phone, getting the run around each hour they went home. I mean heck, why not? It is Friday. So I decided to look at the hospital reviews again to see what everyone said about the hospital to make sure I wasn't overreacting. The hospital has a 3.1 rating!!!!!!!! That's pretty bad. The things people are saying are really bad.

Anyway, I'm super nervous. I have lost 49 pounds as of today ON MY OWN WITHOUT the surgery and wondering if I should even go through with this??? I had never worked with a nutritionist and 49 pounds since May 2and on my own is UNREAL. I'm on oxygen 24/7 for the last 2 years after almost dying from respiratory failure due to my weight. I have a lot of health problems, but I'm getting better now. My health is poor, but it's getting better with the weight loss, but am I overreacting to everything?

Thanks for listening!

HW: 404 lbs.

5/22/20 preop: 377 lbs.

8/27/20 current weight: 333

9/2/20 Surgery Date

It looks like you have two separate issues: your surgeon/hospital, and the decision to have WLS. As some of the other replies have said, I think you should consider changing surgeons. You probably have other options, and you are a customer -- if you don't like the treatment you're getting, you have the right to go elsewhere (this, of course, depends on where you live and how your surgery is being funded). Getting WLS is not just about the cutting. It's a lifelong journey, and the followup visits are a big part of that. I've read that patients who go to all of their scheduled followups are more successful than those who don't. My program requires 8 followup visits in the first two years (once/year thereafter), and you probably don't want the hassle of going to such a disorganized office so many times.

The most concerning thing to me is that you don't know which surgery you're getting. That is a pretty big deal, and you should be the one to make that decision, even though the surgeon may have strong recommendations. Now, he could refuse to do a certain procedure because it would be harmful to you, but you still have to agree to whatever procedure he does recommend. I actually wouldn't have a problem with the informal tone of his e-mail. Doctors are people, too. I bet some people like the fact that he acts like a normal person and doesn't insist on being addressed as "Doctor."

When I was looking into surgery, I was concerned about the hospital's reviews, too, but it turns out that pretty much every hospital in my area has bad ratings. I suspect that very few people have good experiences at hospitals, because you only go to a hospital if you're sick or injured. There are always complaints about wait times (because there are a lot of patients), billing (because medical care is crazy expensive and billing is complicated), and outcomes (because not every patient can be saved, and sometimes it takes trial and error to solve problems).

Now, about the decision to have WLS, I went through some very similar doubts before surgery. I lost over 60 pounds on my own before surgery, and I started to think, "Maybe I can keep going on my own instead of going through with this." I have yo-yo dieted most of my life, but I had never lost that much weight before. About 10 years ago, I lost 50 pounds and kept it off for several years, but I eventually gained it all back plus 30 more pounds. I took some pre-surgery pictures of myself the day before surgery -- after I had already lost over 60 pounds -- and that made me realize how far I have left to go. If I lose 100 pounds from my surgery weight, I'll still be obese. And every pound is a little harder to lose than the last, so the chances that I could lose that much without surgery are... slim. This is a very personal decision that you have to make for yourself, though, and if you're not ready to do it now, you can always wait and see how far you can get on your own.

P.S. If you want your stats (like starting weight, weight lost, and surgery date) to show up when you post, you can click on your user name on the top right of the screen, then select "My surgery" under Settings.

None of the hospitals in my area have great reviews. I work in healthcare though, so I know sometimes things go great, so great review, and sometimes things just go wrong and bad review results. I know that I have bent over backwards for some people to make them happy and they are still not satisfied. They are going to leave a bad review because someone in admitting was short with them, and I can’t fix that. Healthcare is tough. People are scared, uncomfortable, and want to be everyone’s top priority, but sometimes someone is sicker and just needs more help, so they get it. In the operating room you will be everyone’s priority, so if you trust your surgeon, you are good to go.

I have lost weight on my own many times with diet and exercise, only to gain it back with a little extra to show for it. This is my forever chance to get the weight off and keep it off.

Sending best wishes for you to reach a decision you are comfortable with! [emoji177]

Thank you. So true. So true. I feel so much better hearing everything that y'all had to say. I try to catch myself nowadays when I start to over analyze everything. You are so right when you said that people like to put negative stuff. I never understood that? Anyway, I feel better now. Thank you.

I hope I'm responding the correct way on here because I just started this a week ago. Let me know someone if I am doing this right to press "quote" before every reply?




HW: 404 lbs.
5/22/20 preop: 377 lbs.
8/29/20 CW: 328.4
9/2/20 Surgery Date

You will be fine! I’m not trying to worry you because with Covid everyone is backed up. But there is huge difference so thought I’d share my experience. I know how you are feeling! I cancelled Surgery in Nov after doing 2 week fluids bc of blogs with horrific complications scared me to death. plus I never heard of loose skin that bad like the extreme ones on U-tube. Also petrified of Anesthesia bc bad issue before.
Cancelled surgery in Jan because Dad died. I have met with my surgeon 4 times and he is the nicest caring surgeon. He doesn’t rush me & answers questions truthfully. He also does reflux surgery & has vitamins on amazon plus U-tube videos. He has plastic surgeon he works with & went over info to help insurance cover skin removal as it’s unhygienic & rashes hurt. But said exercise helps so much. His Nurse is awesome and when I call her for questions, she never tries to hurry me. The hospital pre op & Covid test ran smooth. It only took a month to be okayed so I pay nothing. The office is efficient. Surgery is Sep 8th. Three times a charm, I wish I had done it in November. I did the liquid diet twice now & gained it back. If you have a bad feeling make sure surgeon is a registered Bariatric Surgeon. Our health & lives are at risk. I have 4 bad issues will go away. So please think about that if you get scared at the last minute. We can all do this. Like you, I am pretty much alone except my husband. I’m really thankful for everyone here. If anyone is in the Houston/The Woodlands area, He has a 5 star rating several places so I’ll share info. Prayers for everyone having soon & recovering!

Sharing great Houston/Woodlands Surgeon.

I have no clue how I put that laughing sticker or how to get it off. I’m a newbie.

I was scheduled for surgery in April of 2018 but had bacterial pneumonia and sepsis so it had to be cancelled. Being in ICU in an induced coma, I lost a lot of weight. I told the surgeon I didn't need the surgery because I lost it on my own. I'm sure he chuckled but my GP wouldn't approve surgery for a year anyway. When I topped out of my last size range, I chuckled. Anyway, my point is - if I was going to lose the weight I needed to lose to get healthy, I would have already lost it and kept it off.

From your story, I see red flags everywhere. My surgeon actually wheeled me to surgery, just him with the surgical staff walking alongside. It was like he was saying, "It's you and me kid." He was an excellent surgeon who I was referred to because he took Medicare insurance. His office staff was very good, however, when the first scheduling was cancelled, I complained directly to the doctor in a letter. about his staff. My issue was with their insurance coordinator who told me my surgery may not be paid by Medicare and that Medicare doesn't do pre-authorizations. She said that after surgery, I may have to pay out of pocket. I had checked with Medicare and they would pay based on the surgeons submittal paperwork. I told the surgeon that I had never had dental work or surgery done that the doctor's office didn't know what the insurance company would pay. Additionally, I checked all the boxes that are required by Medicare in order for them to pay. Not to mention, I was in need of a Nissen and hernia repair and had good secondary insurance. Unfortunately, if Medicare doesn't pay, neither will Blue Cross.

When I finally had the surgery August 3 of this year, the Surgeon's office had checked on the insurance and the staff was very helpful and attentive. Previously, they seemed rather snippy. Most surgeons are arrogant but not mine. He was professional and supportive. It seems that your surgeon thought he was being friendly but he was being unprofessional. I felt creeped out by everything you had to say about your surgeon, staff and surgery center.

By now you will have made your decision and it will be the right one for you. Your weight loss is awesome and it is recommended that you lose as much weight as possible prior to surgery. It was a major life changing decision to have WLS and it sounds like it was the right choice for you based on family history. You are wise to take everything into account and put the brakes on if you are not 100% comfortable.

Best of luck and God speed.

Hey there, Surgery Sis!

You and I are going to be afraid, mentally hold hands, and on Wednesday, JUMP! ??

I am similar to you in that I have several chronic health issues, and I am similar to @Addicted in that I too had bacterial pneumonia, was in ICU in a coma and also lost around 55-60lbs during that time a few years back. I went under a size 16 and woke up an 8! That was freaky.? Anyway, I also thought I could keep it off on my own as well. But I went right back up to my usual 215 within a year and a half. Like many say here, if you could have lost weight and kept it off all on your own then you would have. I congratulate you on the weightloss you have achieved already though. Respect!?

The biggest factor in deciding to do this was my health. In theory, many of my health issues will be improved--some greatly--by this surgery. I am all about quality of life. To me that matters way more than quantity. If there is a chance I can feel better than I currently do, I am gonna take it! Why do you want to do this, really truly. You and everyone else here knows this isn't the easy way out. It is hard, but it's going to be a different kind of hard. Do you think you can trade the hard work of losing weight on your own with being a bariatric patient and all it entails? You said the weight is just falling off now. There will be a time where your weight will stall out, no matter which route you take. Do you think you can fight through that stall on your own, which could be several weeks, or do you think having a tool with you could help? Like EVERYBODY says who does this, surgery is a tool, not the solution. You still gotta work.

I would take another good look tonight at why you want to do this. You can always, ALWAYS cancel a surgery, up to the last minute. I have had many surgeries, and there was one time that I actually did that. I yelled STOP!!! right there on the table in the OR and began to sit up. I just wasn't comfortable with what was going on and you better believe everyone stopped what they were doing and got me off of that table! No one wants a potential lawsuit, even if you did sign the consent form. So really think about this. Don't worry about anything else right now but yourself. This is your body and at the end of the day, you're the one who has to live in it AND you can't get another one.

How big is your bariatric center? Initially I thought my surgeon and his team were a bit ambivalent about me and that made me doubtful. But then after talking to the nurse practitioner there I found out that they oversee over a thousand patients. For them, I am just passing through. It's a miracle anyone remembers my name!

The best antidote to fear is knowledge. Do you know how many years your surgeon had been doing bariatric surgery, specifically what you are having done? Do you know what kind of reputation that bariatric clinic has? I have never seen a hospital have more than a 3 out of 5 rating, but that doesn't necessarily mean your clinic is bad.

No matter what you decide, you have to advocate, advocate, AD.VO.CATE. for yourself! Your bariatric team will only give you as much attention as you demand and you have to demand it. Never be rude, but let them know you ain't playin'.

Blessings on your head and good luck on Wednesday! Don't forget--if you decide to go ahead and feel like your panic is going to overtake you, remember there is someone in NYC holding your hand and taking the same step forward with you.

Drawingdami I like what you said: “No matter what you decide, you have to advocate, advocate, AD.VO.CATE. for yourself! Your bariatric team will only give you as much attention as you demand and you have to demand it. Never be rude, but let them know you ain't playin'.”

My start weight was 238 and now I’m down to 209. I had a really strange feeling the night before my surgery on July 20th. I felt that I should have backed out of it. I experienced bad vibes from my surgeon and his staff. I have been unable to progress much beyond eating soft foods and difficulty swallowing. My surgeon did a second surgery two weeks ago. I should have listened to my instincts and not let him. My husband was urging me not to go through with it and to get a second opinion. I didn’t listen and 6 weeks later, I’m still in the same boat. I miss eating and to be able to drink coffee and gulp water. I can only take small sips at a time. I’m scared to death that I’m going to have to live the rest of my life like this.

I had to be forceful when dealing with my surgeon and his staff. They have been brushing me off and telling me to go back to the liquid plan. I have asked my doctor what he thinks my prognosis will be. Before my second surgery he said I’ll feel much better and now he won’t see me and is having me see nurse practitioners.

if I could have a do-over, I would never have gone through with bariatric surgery. I would give any amount of money or weight in the world just to be normal again.

On 8/30/2020 at 7:38 AM, AmyVanRose said:

You will be fine! I’m not trying to worry you because with Covid everyone is backed up. But there is huge difference so thought I’d share my experience. I know how you are feeling! I cancelled Surgery in Nov after doing 2 week fluids bc of blogs with horrific complications scared me to death. plus I never heard of loose skin that bad like the extreme ones on U-tube. Also petrified of Anesthesia bc bad issue before.
Cancelled surgery in Jan because Dad died. I have met with my surgeon 4 times and he is the nicest caring surgeon. He doesn’t rush me & answers questions truthfully. He also does reflux surgery & has Vitamins on Amazon plus U-tube videos. He has plastic surgeon he works with & went over info to help insurance cover skin removal as it’s unhygienic & rashes hurt. But said exercise helps so much. His Nurse is awesome and when I call her for questions, she never tries to hurry me. The hospital pre op & Covid test ran smooth. It only took a month to be okayed so I pay nothing. The office is efficient. Surgery is Sep 8th. Three times a charm, I wish I had done it in November. I did the liquid diet twice now & gained it back. If you have a bad feeling make sure surgeon is a registered Bariatric Surgeon. Our health & lives are at risk. I have 4 bad issues will go away. So please think about that if you get scared at the last minute. We can all do this. Like you, I am pretty much alone except my husband. I’m really thankful for everyone here. If anyone is in the Houston/The Woodlands area, He has a 5 star rating several places so I’ll share info. Prayers for everyone having soon & recovering!

Girl!!! You are next to all my family. I'm from Texas. My sister is in College Station I think. I have been back in a long time. All my other family is all over Houston and Lake Charles, etc. I have so many friends there, too. Hope your surgery goes better this time. I appreciate you sharing your fears. I love this place. I thank God for you all. I feel better about my surgery. My surgeon is amazing. He has been wonderful. Yes, he is Board Certified. He has great ratings that match up completely with my experience with him. I was just scared about the hospital. That has hopefully been addressed. I spoke to a very pleasant girl today and she assured me that I'm in good hands. And I really feel that way now. And I brought my concerns up to the doctor. It will all be fine. I loathe complaining. You always feel like they will stick you extra hard with the needles or give you a Clorox IV Bahaa. Good luck with your surgery!!

Awesome that you lost all of that weight! And that you feel more comfortable about the surgery now. I had it a few months ago and am very happy that I did. Will you post again when you feel up to it and let us know how the surgery and experience went for you?