I was speaking to a very close friend last night and he started going on at me that I had to work at getting to the “real” reason I am fat and if I didn’t this band will not help me lose weight. He was adamant that I have “issues” that need to be resolved, and if I can’t figure it out I should be in therapy to work on it. Thing is, I don’t think I have any issues. I was never abused in any way, no major traumas, and no deaths of close friends or relatives.

I just don’t know when to stop eating. I don’t sleep well, so perhaps I’m trying to eat the energy I’m lacking by not sleeping. And I’m lazy.

My question to you is – do you think you gained weight because of “issues”? Everyone’s different, of course, but do I seriously have to go to therapy to look for issues I don’t even believe I have? Can’t I just be a lazy over-eater? Isn’t it the best course to work on losing the weight and accepting a healthy lifestyle? Does there HAVE to be issues?

I'm thinking maybe it's time to go to bed. (yawn)

Night night.

Nighty night!

Its time here to clean up this pigsty and cook dinner, groan.

:spit:

Oprah says, huh?

Yeah, I am afraid I am just not that deep. I was fat because I ate too much, and moved too little.

I knew some people would not agree...and that is totally cool. I still stand behind my post and I still love you guys! But like I said, we are all in this together! Perhaps perception of these issues change when you reach goal. BTW...congrats on reaching goal. I look @ Jachut's bikini pic and am inspired!

I agree that everyone may have some kind of 'issue', but my biggest problem is that when I was a teenager, I was skinny and could eat anything I wanted. We didn't have much money, and meat was always my favorite entre. We would go out and eat steak on friday nights, and ANY leftovers were given to me with my dad encouraging me to eat it all! The problem is, once I got older and had children, my metabolism changed and my eating habits didn't. Also, I AM a comfort eater. I had gotten myself into too many emotional situations. I'm too impulsive for one thing, and react quickly (not always properly) for another thing. (maybe those are the same thing???) All this together has me where I am today!

At the tender age of 61, after an entire lifetime of weight issues, I believe that environmental factors (fast food, garganuan portions), coupled with poor personal food choices, just learning to eat past the point of a "sated appetite", and lack of exercise contribute greatly to obesity. There may be underlying emotional issues of comfort, control, food/love connection, but......

With that being said, I look at photos of my mother and grandmother and realize that I am genetically programmed to carry extra weight in their image, as are all my maternal cousins. ( I have no siblings) They didn't exercise either, so that was pre-programmed in us as well. ( What women exercised in the 1940's?)And until the 2nd half of the 20th century, women who were overweight were considered "healthier" than those who were thin. Marilyn Monroe was a size 14. Genes have a HUGE role in determining who fights weight and who can eat and not gain.

Nature/nurture are definitely partners in weight traits.

Three other points that have not been discussed are:

1. The nature of food as fuel: any other addiction ( drugs, smoking, gambling), once recognized and treated, can be totally avoided, given the conscious effort to do so. Food must be faced several times every day, and without adequate preparation for the daily barrage of choices, it is much easier to fall into the old habits or give in to temptation. Therefore lap bands and gastric bypasses.... what they do is make it IMPOSSIBLE to eat the old way without DIRE physical consequences. I am so thrilled that the lap band is a tool that exists for me! If my mother had had the opportunity to have one, I know that she would have lost weight and stayed alive longer.

2. Menopause and what it does to the metabolism ( and shape) of women. I used to be able to "get serious" and lose 50 pounds in 4 months with Weight Watchers or Diet Center ( remember that one?) Once I reached 50, I would have to eat under 1000 a day or less to lose ANYTHING. It was outrageously frustrating and the pounds kept creeping on, despite my best efforts.

3. To those of us who have fought weight, much like other addictions, we must work VERY hard to assure that our children do not inherit bad eating habits, food-love connections, and "finish everything on your plate" training. It's no accident that obese adults tend to have obese children. It's up to us to learn nutrition, portion control, and exercise and teach these things to our children in order to try to control the "nurture" aspects of the problem that we inherited or learned. Our children will have to learn to deal with their genetic predisposition to gain weight. We must give them the tools to fight and win in childhood.

I gained weight when I got super happy in a new relationship and we went out to eat like twice a day practically... food was fun and exciting!! I gained 100 pounds in a dang year.. LOL.

Anyway, then I got a foot disorder cuz of the extra weight and was on steriods for a few months.. gained more weight.. then I just couldn't do the rollerblading and other things I use to.. so I got lazy. And now I'm just a bored eater. When I'm sitting around the house watching television I scroung around the kitchen because I'm bored and food tastes yummy!! Sometimes I wish I could just get depressed about something because when I'm depressed or upset I don't eat at all; it makes me too sick to eat.

But, I had a great childhood... and I have lots of friends.. and I'm super happy 98% of the time! Food is just FUN!!! Like Mexican food and mediteranean food.. Hummus and pita... chicken enchiladas'... Oh man... dang my mouth is just watering right this second..... chips and salsa... doesn't that just sound so fricking awesome???? See. IT"S FUN! Unfortunately, I've had too much fun with it, because at my dr. appntment yesterday I've gained 6 pounds since last month. I can't wait till I get this lapband. I really need it. LOL

MusigalF - your #1 and #3 hit the nail on the head for me.

1) I have had many discussions with my dad (who has been sober from drugs and alcohol for 15 years) about how we handled our addictions. He told me about how he changed his life, his surroundings, his social circle and so on after he stopped using. He used to view overweight people as just "fat and lazy and needed some self control" but after talking with me and understanding that I have to face this demon 3 times a day with all of these other influences and my emotions... I'm not saying It's harder to lose weight than to quit drinking... but i'm an all or nothing kind of girl, black and white. It's easier for me to just cut something out completely than to moderate myself. That's just me.

3) It scares the crap out of me to have overweight kids. I hope and pray that any of my future children inherit my husbands family genes, they are all tall, thin/lean. My mom was somewhat overweight while I was growing up, but not obese. She was the largest of her three sisters. My dad's side of the family, he only has one overweight sister, everyone else is an addict of another kind. I am by FAR the largest person in my whole extended family. I hope and pray to god that I can get my "issues" worked out and manageble beofore I have kids, i've done a lot of emotional and spiritual work over the years and feel i have a pretty good head on this whole obesity issue and why I'm fat, why I stayed fat, and how i'm changing my life.

Thank you for your insight! it really hit home for me.

At the tender age of 61, after an entire lifetime of weight issues, I believe that environmental factors (fast food, garganuan portions), coupled with poor personal food choices, just learning to eat past the point of a "sated appetite", and lack of exercise contribute greatly to obesity. There may be underlying emotional issues of comfort, control, food/love connection, but......

With that being said, I look at photos of my mother and grandmother and realize that I am genetically programmed to carry extra weight in their image, as are all my maternal cousins. ( I have no siblings) They didn't exercise either, so that was pre-programmed in us as well. ( What women exercised in the 1940's?)And until the 2nd half of the 20th century, women who were overweight were considered "healthier" than those who were thin. Marilyn Monroe was a size 14. Genes have a HUGE role in determining who fights weight and who can eat and not gain.

Nature/nurture are definitely partners in weight traits.

Three other points that have not been discussed are:

1. The nature of food as fuel: any other addiction ( drugs, smoking, gambling), once recognized and treated, can be totally avoided, given the conscious effort to do so. Food must be faced several times every day, and without adequate preparation for the daily barrage of choices, it is much easier to fall into the old habits or give in to temptation. Therefore lap bands and gastric bypasses.... what they do is make it IMPOSSIBLE to eat the old way without DIRE physical consequences. I am so thrilled that the lap band is a tool that exists for me! If my mother had had the opportunity to have one, I know that she would have lost weight and stayed alive longer.

2. Menopause and what it does to the metabolism ( and shape) of women. I used to be able to "get serious" and lose 50 pounds in 4 months with Weight Watchers or Diet Center ( remember that one?) Once I reached 50, I would have to eat under 1000 a day or less to lose ANYTHING. It was outrageously frustrating and the pounds kept creeping on, despite my best efforts.

3. To those of us who have fought weight, much like other addictions, we must work VERY hard to assure that our children do not inherit bad eating habits, food-love connections, and "finish everything on your plate" training. It's no accident that obese adults tend to have obese children. It's up to us to learn nutrition, portion control, and exercise and teach these things to our children in order to try to control the "nurture" aspects of the problem that we inherited or learned. Our children will have to learn to deal with their genetic predisposition to gain weight. We must give them the tools to fight and win in childhood.

I couldn't (and didn't!) say this better! And I think that we need to be clear that this isn't a matter of "blame" or "fault" or "responsibility." I fully take responsibility for the shape I'm in but I do not really believe it is my fault. That is, I -- and most of us, I'm sure -- did not set out to gain weight. I've been fighting it nearly all of my adult life. My husband and kids are sick of me being on one diet after another. But for all of the reasons you stated, I got on the diet rollercoaster and made it worse and that was my responsibility. I tried to educate myself as best I could and but what they're saying now is not the same as what they were saying then. I've told my children many times that if they ever begin to gain weight, DO NOT GO ON A DIET! Instead, make better food choices and exercise. I truly believe that if I had known then what I know now, I might be 20 pounds overweight but not 60 or more.

I agree that there are different reasons why some of us are overweight. There are some overlaps of these issues, too, but I've read enough of this and other weight loss boards to see that some people have issues that I have never had or even considered. My heart goes out to anyone who was abused or neglected, especially if he or she is still living with the pain. I don't think any of us intend to judge others for their situation. As Kity said, we're all in this together!