Hi everyone,

I need a safe place to rant and get advice and opinions. Feel free to be honest! I’m posting here because I need to do some head work around this situation so that I don’t eat my way through it. Here is goes....I thought my sister in law and I are close, there is an age gap but she has been my side kick since she was 7 and she’s now 28 (I’m 43) she was in our wedding as a bridesmaid when she was 12, I do a lot for her (help with the baby, provide encouragement and advice, hang out with her because she’s home alone a lot) but I guess we’re not as close as I thought. She’s planning her wedding and apparently she has invited our other sister in law and her 3 soon to be sister in laws to be in the wedding but not me. My daughter is also a bridesmaid (23yrs old) and my niece (12 yrs old). We have a small family and literally everyone is in the wedding in some form other than me. My husband is officiating, my sons are ushers, daughter is a bridesmaid, brother in law is a groomsmen, sister in law is bridesmaid, and young niece is flower girl. Let me say that I’m assuming it’s the age difference but I’m fine with that, I just want her to address it with me like “hey I would like you to be a part of the wedding as well but......” she could have told me anything...that she knows I probably wouldn’t want to be a bridesmaid, that she thinks of me as more of a mom but would like me to sit with the mothers, anything to at least address it. She did invite me to go dress shopping but that was ruined because the prior weekend I made the mistake of bringing it up and it didn’t go well. I was very nice about it and felt like I handled it with tact. She went off of the rails on me and said that I’m selfish for trying to make her wedding about me. She uninvited me to go dress shopping, said that I’m cut out of her life, and hasn’t talked to me since. She’s now telling anyone who will listen that I’m mad at her because I’m not a bridesmaid and making up additional details that aren’t true and never happened. I know this because she talked to my daughter about it. I can’t forget the terrible things that she said to me in her ranting text to me, some of them were below the belt and so unnecessary for the situation. My husband was seriously pissed at her and now calls her bridezilla. He has talked and text with her briefly since this happened but nothing about what happened. No one has brought it up, everyone is just acting like nothing happened. No one is treating me differently other than the bride not talking to me. I guess that’s a good sign because it means that my husbands mom , brother and sister in law are not taking sides. I want to fix this but I feel like like we need a mediator. She and my other sister in law get into small arguments but my brother in law always steps in and fixes it. I’ve asked my husband to do the same or to even ask his brother advice on how he should navigate the situation but he hasn’t. I realized yesterday that’s I’m pissed at my husband for not doing something, for not sticking up for me. I’m confused by this entire situation. Should I have never have brought up that my feelings were hurt to her? Should I be upset that my husband hasn’t called her out for saying mean things to me? Why am i so hurt over this? Why is she spinning the story to make me sound like a selfish b***h? How do fix this so I don’t eat myself into a huge weight gain? Thank you all in advance for weighing in (pun intended lol)

13 minutes ago, Mikeyy said:

It is a huge day for her a huge celebration and so many emotions and hormones flowing through her body.

I'm sure she will feel bad after everything is said and done and she's come down from the clouds of her wedding and Honeymoon.

It is also possible the age is a difference when it comes to being with all her friends and bridesmaids of her age you may not feel it but I know when I was in my 20s and my mum in her 40s we felt world's apart; as much as I love my mum I don't think I'd ever go party with her or drink with her.

So yes you have to take a step back and allow this girl to have her day.

I know how you feel my niece and I were inseparable from day 1 but once she got a boyfriend and turned 16 things changed obviously that's what happens as people grow up

It probably is the age difference but she could have told me that, I would have understood. Really all that I wanted was for her to address the elephant in the room. Also we do have a party/drink together relationship and I was invited to the bachelorette party (obviously not anymore). Unfortunately she said such nasty things in response to me asking her a lot of damage has been done. I will never respond to her personal attack or below the belt blows nor will my husband, I know it’s her day and I’m sure it will be wonderful.

Being a bride doesn’t excuse bad behavior. She sounds dreadfully immature.

If you asked nicely, she should have answered nicely. Even if she found your question annoying for some childish reason you didn’t deserve her personal attacks.

Since you have decided she isn’t worth your effort, move on and don’t let this cause you to self sabotage with food. You will feel much worse if you gain weight over this.

Her wedding might be wonderful but it sounds like a lot of collateral damage will be in her wake...

Be well!

Thank you! I needed to hear this today ?