Why do so many people on LBT take things way too seriously????......when someone posts something in the rants and raves section... they are ranting and raving... not making personal attacks on people.. well maybe some are..ha, ha... but I mean give me a break, if you do not want to engage in conversation that may spark some controversy do not participate, do not read the posts.. it is really amusing that some people really believe there are posters out there that are viciously trying to attack them, then they want to talk it out???huh???wtf?? this is not high school for crying out loud.. if you are not mature enough to know that other people in the world are going to have opinions that you do not share and you can't handle it.. then do not come into this section... do not read the posts.. and for heavens sake do not make the slightest attempt to reply....I am sure most of you all know what I am talking about....

Why do so many people on LBT take things way too seriously????......when someone posts something in the rants and raves section... they are ranting and raving... not making personal attacks on people.. well maybe some are..ha, ha... but I mean give me a break, if you do not want to engage in conversation that may spark some controversy do not participate, do not read the posts.. it is really amusing that some people really believe there are posters out there that are viciously trying to attack them, then they want to talk it out???huh???wtf?? this is not high school for crying out loud.. if you are not mature enough to know that other people in the world are going to have opinions that you do not share and you can't handle it.. then do not come into this section... do not read the posts.. and for heavens sake do not make the slightest attempt to reply....I am sure most of you all know what I am talking about....

Yup - I agree. And I think most people take way too many things in life seriously. Life is fun - enjoy the ride!

Lol. I agree. And you need to be mature enough to realise that whilst what happens in rants and raves generally stays there, you cant unsay what you've said and people are going to use that information to form an opinion of you.

I often dont realise I'm there though. I always hit new posts and dont look at what forum the post is in. I'd go there specifically to start a thread, but I dont always realise when I'm replying that that's where I am.

You can usually tell of course, but I think many people stumble in there unintentionally.

I usually stumble in when I see the experienced bandsters have posted- I really appreciate all the posts people like you Jachut, Wasa, and many others make- it makes it a more knowledgeable ride for someone like me who is relatively new at all of this-it just gets me that people take the time to vocalize that they are made vicitms of a personal vendetta by others on the forum-it really just cracks me up- I am always up for a little debate-if you can't handle it-no harm done-but why would one want to participate then? it really baffles me.. I guess it is the Scorpio in me talking...I may be opinionated, but I am not vicious.. I have never gotten the feeling that anyone here would outright target anyone-I guess peoples insecurities come out when they have nothing else better to do..

I agree.

I'm always horrified when people say they've received PM's taking an argument started in R&R further. What sort of person would feel the need to go on personal attack? That's really low and even though I've thought some pretty personal things about people, lol, I would never target them that way, if I have something to say I just say it. So anybody who feels they were personally targetted by me would definitely be imagining things. And I'd say that's the case 95% of the time for other people too.

Being disagreed with online is a skill to learn, I had a lot of trouble with it when I first entered the world of chat forums. I got in some doozeys, not over stuff like goal weights but over politics, personal outlook etc.

But you know, I've also LEARNED heaps becuase most of those people have become my real life friends and I've valued the input they've had into my view of the world. There were things I really needed to learn.

Online debate is not about personal attack, its about opening your mind to other people's ways of thinking. I got that out of the goal weight debate, I now feel somewhat differently on it than I did becuase people have pointed out some very valid things to me. But unfortunately, not everyone wants to take away from it, they just want validation of their own opinions.

I learned a long time ago that your not going to change someones opinion online.

Debate however is fun, even when you roll in the mud. Guess that makes me a pig

Why do so many people on LBT take things way too seriously????......when someone posts something in the rants and raves section... they are ranting and raving... not making personal attacks on people.. well maybe some are..ha, ha... but I mean give me a break, if you do not want to engage in conversation that may spark some controversy do not participate, do not read the posts.. it is really amusing that some people really believe there are posters out there that are viciously trying to attack them, then they want to talk it out???huh???wtf?? this is not high school for crying out loud.. if you are not mature enough to know that other people in the world are going to have opinions that you do not share and you can't handle it.. then do not come into this section... do not read the posts.. and for heavens sake do not make the slightest attempt to reply....I am sure most of you all know what I am talking about....

Dude, wait until you're on the receiving end of the wackjobs. It's SPECIAL. I mean, hell, it's so fucking out there that it really gets entertaining sometimes. :faint:

I learned a long time ago that your not going to change someones opinion online.

Debate however is fun, even when you roll in the mud. Guess that makes me a pig

I can't agree that you will never change someone's opinion on line. I post on another forum where there is formal debate and people have presented me with facts that I didn't know before and I changed my mind about a given subject. And same holds true the other way around. It's not about arguing, it's about debating a subject and getting the other person to defend their stance. It's a huge learning experience.

With that said we also need to remember that not everyone is playing with a full deck. And I sincerely don't mean that in a nasty way but quite literally. There are some people that have issues of their own and they just have to play it out until they move on to a new issue.

Hopefully, they will resolve their current issues soon. Heh...

hmm, could I get a link? sounds like a interesting place to lurk around for awhile.

hmm, could I get a link? sounds like a interesting place to lurk around for awhile.

It's been very slow lately. Not sure if you would be interested or not, it's an atheism site. Still want a link? If so, I'll PM you.

It's been very slow lately. Not sure if you would be interested or not, it's an atheism site. Still want a link? If so, I'll PM you.

That the same link I've got?

That the same link I've got?

Yep, that's the one.

Would I be tarred and feathered becuase I am a Deist?

Would I be tarred and feathered becuase I am a Deist?

Only if you are a fundie type deist that insists everyone think and believe as you do. In that case you'll be slam dunked and chewed on like a canine squeaky toy. However, a comparison of ideas and defending your stance is always welcome.

One of the most loved regulars there is deist.

There are certain subjects that I have no interest in participating in. Not becasue I don't have opinions, but because I could care less about others' opinions on the topic. I don't argue/debate religion or politics. I am going to believe/not believe the way I do, regardless of anyone else's opinions. I may find it interesting to read about others' opinions, but not enough to jump in. I would never treat anyone any differntly based on their political or religious beliefs. Certainly not in an online debate since their opinions do not effect me. However, in real life if they were trying to force their beliefs on me in ways that would effect my life, they would be in for a fight.

I have found that some people are just plain pig headed and are cyber bullies. Those people, I just find amusing.

It's important to keep in mind the types of personalities that help-based messageboards might attract. You also need to keep in mind that the dynamics of doing anything are completely different from doing it IRL.

Messageboards are like petri dishes for immaturity, codependence and passive aggression.

People can be very viscous online. If you think about it, these people probably aren't like this IRL. They'd get smacked down way too fast. Maybe they're looking for an "out" - a way to give them something their RL can't.

I'm reminded of a boss I had once. She was a rabid bulldog at work, took no prisoners. People were scared to be in meetings with her. We'd have people ask us to proof their emails to her, to make sure they wouldn't rub her the wrong way. I saw her at home once and she was the most submissive woman I had ever seen. Her husband completely ruled the roost, and he did it with an Iron fist, and she was there at his beckoning call. When I saw that picture of her home life, it was easy to understand why she was the way she was at work.

But, using these guesses to make cuts about someone's personal life, what they get out of being here, etc. is NOT the (IMO) most appropriate way to react. When people do that online, and I read it, I don't think -- YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT, S/HE SUCKS! I think - really? Is that the level of maturity we're dealing with here? You say you're how old? That's kind of sad.

I also think for too many people, maturity drops about 70% as soon as they create a handle. I see "people" claiming to be upwards of 30 years older than me doing and saying things that I would have considered immature when I was 12. (And I'm most certainly not the most mature person around... so that DOES say something). If someone on a messageboard managed to incite enough anger in me and hurt my pride enough that I really felt I needed to confront THEM (as opposed to their stance), I would do it in as close of a manner to IRL as possible: direct, person-to-person. But the me here is pretty much the IRL me, and that's not the case for lots of ppl out there. Online people tend to engage "smear tactics" such as starting threads to bash the person, whether the person is named, or the whole ordeal is disguised as some unnamed, unspecified event. I guess this is the IRL equivalent to telling your story to mutual acquiantances and seeking out the supporters.

The anonymity of the internet also empowers people in a different way. This is related to my anecdote of a former boss. On this board - and most boards I can think of - people have a tendency to push buttons incessantly. "Jabs"... it's easy when you can walk into a room, slap someone across the face, and then log off. Or ignore, or block, or claim "I'm leaving this thread" or any other virtual means of not having to own your actions. You can't walk into a room and slap me, and then just disappear, or make me & anything I do as a reaction be unseen/unheard... no, you have to face the consequences of your actions. You DON'T have to do that online, so people do a hell of a lot more provoking and prodding than they would ever think of doing IRL. Not so brave people are suddenly very brave when they have a handle to hide behind. But really - if you're going to pee in your bed, you'd better be willing to change the sheets, or you're just gonna be soppy and stinky in the morning.

All just IMO of course.