Hello everyone,

This is my rant about myself!

Today I feel like I have failed myself.... For the last 2 weeks I have been doing really well with watching the intake and monitoring my meals. I have been pushing myself to walk as much as possible. I have even lost 5 lbs so far. Tonight I stood in my kitchen and eat my daughters leftover Chinese food my mom had got her when she took her the other night, on top of that I had a bagel. Now as I sit here writing this I feel extremely stupid for one but I also feel very disappointed in myself.

Mind you all I have just started this process to surgery, it is all still so new and fresh...

I have been working on getting my pre-op testing done and losing the weight the doctor has requested. I was told I would probably have surgery toward October.

This is so hard to express honestly, also it is hard to explain to my family and friends. I never realized how much food truly is an addiction.... I am addicted to food... Seems so silly to say that, but it is so true. I really thought my head was 100% in this and focused on losing the weight.. I know that struggles are definitely normal but its been 2 weeks and I feel pathetic..

How did everyone focus on keeping on track when temptations are close by?

Foods that curve a craving?

I am sorry is this seems all over the place!

I wish my parents felt that way about sugar and similar. They,did feel that way about literature, never had comic books, I guess the political-correct term these days is "graphic novelettes". Goody goody that I love and enjoy fine literature but I'm still FAT! But. with the help of Medical Advances,an excellent surgeon in. Center of Excellence Bariatric Hospital, my body will be tuned up, my tool implemented and a Rebirtday will happen in July. And with hard work, a better diet I'm place, this fat shell will shatter and the real Frustr8 will emerge. Gosh,i am excited by the prospect of it all. My time to shine is coming,may not be completed until 2019 but I have the urge to make strides before then!???

It’s actually been super easy with my kids over the last few weeks I’m so glad this change has been good for all of us! Thankfully I have a handle on this before my kids get older and end up in the situation I am, I never want them to have to go though what I am! They love healthy eating and are actually sleeping better. So awesome! Thanks all again for all the support and motivation!