I have this guy up at work that keeps saying negative comments about my upcoming surgery. I have been assertive in letting him know that this is my decision to make and it is a major life change that I am willing to undertake. This has been the "norm" for the past three months since I started working at this place.

Fast forward to today... we were all rearranging our office (drafting office so there are a bunch of desks) and I was sweating and getting winded. (easy to do at 400 lbs.) This fella says to me "you just need to work out more and eat less, not take the easy way out by getting surgery".

Man that burned me up! Like I said I am the "new" guy and It is a pretty loose office. We have fun and joke around with each other. It really is fun at times. It is a small business and there is no real HR department. I do not want to look like the guy trying to get people in trouble.

What on earth can I do?

The fella is bipolar and really strong so I don't want to tick him off too much if you know what I mean!

I am at a loss for the first time since I began this whole journey.

Just be grateful you can have a surgery to improve your problem.......he can't. All you can do is proceed with your plans and prove him wrong with your success. A year from now you will have proof that you made a good decision. And he'll still have his same problem.

When I got that line about just do it yourself, I would say in a sad voice "I wish I could do it the way you want me to, but I am addicted to food like an alcoholic is to booZe" . Each time he says that just repeat the same thing, he is just repeating himself over and over again too.

Good luck,

edie

I've found, with the few bi-polar friends I have, when they get in a "mood" like that and say things just to get a rise out of me, the best way to shut them down is to sarcasitcally agree with them.

For instance "You should exercise more and eat less and not take the easy way out..." I would reply "But I LIKE the easy way!" and then laugh. Usually, that defuses them til the next time they get in a 'mood'.

Honestly, there are just some ignorant people out there and we're not going to get them to stop saying ignorant stuff. Just be happy you're getting the help you need and stick to your guns

If people who are bipolar are ignored, they really can't continue to go on and on about something that is none of their business.

Just don't discuss the issue and hopefully he will shut the f--- up!

I totally disagree that this is the easy way out.

I have been on a diet roller coaster for 15 years, and will power was gone until my band. People that haven't struggled like we have, don't have a clue.

I say ignore his comments.

Be ready for your new life.

What an idiot. The band is NOT an easy way out.

Just blow him off and ignore him.. Do like when we were kids, "sticks and stons can break my bones, but words will never hurt me!!!" And if that doesn't work, just give us a call and we'll get on a bus and come kick his ass.

Being the new person in a small company doesn't give anyone the right to harass you. I think you tell him that it's a personal medical matter and you'd prefer he didn't bring it up again, and he continues to do so, you should go to your supervisor/boss. Most people who own a small company (and intend to keep it small) want to make sure that everyone is comfortable. They don't want a lot of turnaround with their employees because they want a family like atmosphere (hence the fun times you mention). If you tell your boss you are upset, he/she will likely talk to the person.

And being bipolar doesn't excuse his behavior either.

keep rubber bands closeby and when he says it again, shoot three of them at him in a row.

If this doesnt stop the comments, then mix one part ammonia to three parts Water in a spray bottle. Next time makes the comments then spray him vigorously (as you would potty train a puppy).

I hope these two ideas work for you because the next step is to throw staplers, or tape dispensers directly aimed at his forhead.

oh..i forgot...

when you spray him with the ammonia Water mixture you have to smak his bottom with a rolled up newspaper and scream "NO bobby, BAD bobby!" as you do it.

(replace his name with bobby when screaming directions)

Since you still have to work with the guy and you don't wanna piss him off, how about educating him? Give him some info on the band. I realize it is his choice whether to read it or not, but at least you tried. I knew a few "skeptical" people, too. I just gave them some info and it was all ok. I would also talk to your boss about it. Maybe at the next staff meeting you could do a little 10 minute info session on the band for all your co-workers. It would be great for all of them to know what you are facing, plus what they can expect to see after you are banded. (Especially since you are in a small, close-knit office.) I feel the more info one has, the better. By the way, it's not the easy way out. It's just a different way. You still have to work your ass off!

Boy oh Boy...people say that to me too. My reply is "Gee, why didn't I think of that 40 years ago!"