The entire process leading up to what is going to happen on March 12th has showed me all of the resentment and anger that I've harbored towards the world. There is nothing like confronting a major change to life to make me realize just how human I really am. I am only alive but for the complex chemical processes that happen underneath a frighteningly thin layer of protection. I now know just how fragile and human I am and I really don't want to spend the rest of my life the way I've lived my 40 years until now. I've lived life with a chip on my shoulder and generally expecting to fight for every yard that I needed to gain. No more ... it just is not worth it. No matter how frustrating life can be, it is no longer worthwhile taking it out on someone else or seeking to blame others. It's not even worth blaming myself anymore. For the first time in my life, I don't want to find fault in anyone, including myself, for life's circumstances. The surgery is going to leave the old me in the dust: mentally and physically. I resolve to be a better person when I wake from anesthesia.

Cudos dude! Great post! You got this!

You'll make it and you'll make it in spades. Good luck.

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