When I was a kid my Dad had three daughters and one of us always had friends over. He couldn't remember their names and referred to everyone as honey or sweetie. He meant nothing wrong by it, he just had no clue what their names were. It was also during a time when people weren't offended by this behavior.

Why is it that some need to refer to everyone her as "hun" or "sweetie"? I mean, there are times it is okay but in every bloody post?

I worked with a nurse that is about 20 years younger than I am and she never once referred to me by name, it was always "honey" or "sweetie". My name isn't difficult, it's rather easy to remember. I'm not her honey, I'm not her sweetie, I am (was) her co-worker.

Why are people under the assumption that they come off as motherly, friendly, or whatever it is they feel they are perceived by not using someone's name? Even a LBT ID?

And why in the world does this annoy me so much?

Because it can sound condescending? Sometimes people soften an insult with it.

Because it can sound condescending? Sometimes people soften an insult with it.

I know what you are talking about but that's not what I refer to. Something along the lines of...

"Hi hun, how are you feeling hun? I'm well, hun. What will you be doing on your day off tomorrow, hun?"

Like fingernails on a chalkboard to me.

Oh yes.... Ok.

That's just a bit sickly sweet to me, I dont even speak to my kids like that. More along the lines of GET OFF THAT BLOODY COUCH AND PICK UP YOUR SHOES!! Not please hun, get off the couch sweetie and take your little shoozywoozies into your bedroom. Thanks hun.

Oh yes.... Ok.

That's just a bit sickly sweet to me, I dont even speak to my kids like that. More along the lines of GET OFF THAT BLOODY COUCH AND PICK UP YOUR SHOES!! Not please hun, get off the couch sweetie and take your little shoozywoozies into your bedroom. Thanks hun.

Even if you did talk to your kids in a disgustingly sweet way, at least you KNOW them. I hate it when people I don't know call me "hun" or something similar. I think someone should just go shoot them.

I love to tell people that call me sweetie that they don't know me well enough to know if I am sweet or not. I do it in a way that is actually quite mean, because I hate it as well.

I think people do it alot now to seem nice, and there is nothing I HATE more than playing a game and trying to be something that you are not.

I have 1 member at my job though I am going to kill, he calls me f*cking cupcake. YEAH cupcake. I told him I was going to kill him if he did it again....ugh...stupid people....he still does it.

to me it depends on who says it and how it is said. I work for a faith-based non-profit and deal with a lot of senior-citizen clerics and women religious, and I get a lot of "honey" and "dear" from them. But the condecending ones - forget it!

I'm guilty of said offense. I've been known to use "sweetie" when someone is going through something difficult, and they've just told me about it. Then I'll try to say something encouraging, or if that isn't appropriate, then I'll just say something like, "Oh, sweetie, if you need anything, let me know" or "Oh, sweetie, I'm so sorry to hear you're going through this".

However, I've never said it to someone face to face, only in a forum such as this, or e-mail, IM, that sort of thing, just to express sympathy or empathy.

And in the case of Wasa's example, I'd NEVER use it like that, it's very condescending, and phony.

Yeah, I think the only time I've used "sweetie" was when talking to my cats and here on the board when someone is having problems. Well, once when I was trying to talk an absolutely DRUNK friend of mine into going to sleep, too. Why is it that the non-drinkers always get drunk control duty?

Because life isn't fair - if it was, someone (including ourselves) would take care of us once in a while -

Because life isn't fair - if it was, someone (including ourselves) would take care of us once in a while -

Very true, unfortunately.

Growing up in the South, it's been Sweetie, Darlin', Babydoll, Babe, whatever, for my whole life. I don't even hear it anymore.

I'm guilty of said offense. I've been known to use "sweetie" when someone is going through something difficult, and they've just told me about it. Then I'll try to say something encouraging, or if that isn't appropriate, then I'll just say something like, "Oh, sweetie, if you need anything, let me know" or "Oh, sweetie, I'm so sorry to hear you're going through this".

However, I've never said it to someone face to face, only in a forum such as this, or e-mail, IM, that sort of thing, just to express sympathy or empathy.

And in the case of Wasa's example, I'd NEVER use it like that, it's very condescending, and phony.

The way YOU do it makes sense. I've done that too. That I can handle. It's the people that refer to everyone as Hun, Honey, whatever... that just annoys me. But you don't do what I'm referring to.

to me it depends on who says it and how it is said. I work for a faith-based non-profit and deal with a lot of senior-citizen clerics and women religious, and I get a lot of "honey" and "dear" from them. But the condecending ones - forget it!

Yep, I agree with this too. Old folks it doesn't annoy me, they come from a time when it was okay to do that and they are not trying to be rude in the least. But when someone 20 years younger than me uses it 100% of the time vs. my name, I find that I just want to smack them and remind them of MY name. It is phoney the way some use it.

There is one person that I finally asked to quit calling me sweetie. I was nice about it but told her I didn't like it. Besides, she called everyone that and when she would say, "Sweetie, do you know where "X" is?" We all ignored her, we didn't know who she was talking to.

I can't edit, it won't let me. I meant phony, not phoney.

to me it depends on who says it and how it is said. I work for a faith-based non-profit and deal with a lot of senior-citizen clerics and women religious, and I get a lot of "honey" and "dear" from them. But the condecending ones - forget it!

I'm 100% with you! it depends from who and when! I know that some people are just really nice and mean it in a sweet way and some are fakes!