What's up everyone? I'm new here and I don't have a surgery date yet. My insurance requires a 6 month diet and I just recently completed my first month. I'm 29 and hope I'm making the right decision, I guess that gives me some time to think about it, but I have been big my whole life, and struggled with losing weight. I will be having the sleeve surgery, and was wondering what all changes as far as what I can eat or drink ( wondering mostly about having a few beers from time to time), and also what other changes will I see for anything? My wife had the sleeve surgery in June and has done very well with her weight loss and after surgery so she can tell me some things, but I want to hear from other men that have experienced the changes. Honestly inmossy can't wait to see how it changes our sex life, not that It isn't great now, I just wonder Hownitnwill change it for the better. Thanks!

Good luck to you on your weight loss journey my friend. Though others who haven't walked in the shoes of a person morbidly obese, may say that surgery is the "easy way out", I'm hear to tell you that there isn't anything easy about this procedure at all. So the first tip I will give you is this, prepare to work your ass off, cause thinking that this is the magical cure all for your weight-loss blues is going to sourly disappoint you. You have got to prepare your mind and will power for this life changing procedure. Because its just that, life changing.

If you have an unhealthy relationship with food (i.e. using food as a cope mechanism, addict, emotional eater, etc) then I would highly suggest that you need to deal with those issues first before going under the knife. Get a very good support system in place to help you mentally deal with those things prior to the surgery. For me I had friends who had already had the surgery that I could lean on for advice, and I was seeing a therapist to deal with some of my emotional issues related to stress/food/and image issues.

Because once you get cut on and have 80% of your stomach removed, you won't be able to use food as a comfort release or coping mechanism as you may have done in the past. I learned that lesson the absolute hard way and I spent a good bit of my first year post surgery fixing and dealing with those mistakes that I made, because I wasn't as mentally ready for the surgery as previously thought. And experiencing dumping once or twice and needing IV fluids to be able to see, and comprehend again will make you follow the damn meal plans.

Carbonation beverages I would just avoid, especially the first year or so. Now you will have a lot of people here that say never do it and some say its alright, I leave that up to you for you are an adult and can make your own decisions on that. For me I do rarely consume carbonated beverages (maybe a soda or hard cider ever 2 to 4 months at most), but I mostly find comfort in drinking flavored water, tea, coffee, and juice. I use to be about a 1.5/2liter a day diet Pepsi drinker and now I may have a can every 6 to 8 weeks at most and usually when I am out.

I haven't really had a beer in like almost two years but I have consumed hard alcohol like Tequila, Rum, Bourbon, and Whiskey. Alcohol is very different for me now in that I don't need no where near as much as I did pre-surgery to get a buzz. So because of that and the fact that I don't like the "buzzed/drunk" feeling I limit the amount of alcohol I consume too. If I am out socially I usually have one to two drinks at most and I sip them slowly throughout the evening to minimize the affects that the alcohol will have on me. As the farther out from surgery I have gone, my tolerance has slowly increased, but its nowhere near where it was at per-surgery. Again not a bad thing because alcohol, especially beer is empty calories, and gas which you will not need. Trust me on the gas part cause being bloated is an absolute pain in the gut literally.

I say all of that in the regards that you don't need the stuff really. Those first 12 to 24 months you should honestly be focused on eating properly and getting into a good workout/exercise routine so that you can continue to post gains(weight loss) while your VGS is still in its magical weight-loss phase. Cause eventually you will hit the stall and the tool will at some point stop being so magical. Get into good habits and work your ass off literally and you will see the difference.

Sex
Yes it will change. If you had low stamina and energy, it will increase. I mean you will have a lot less weight and body mass to deal with, so there is that bonus too. Also men tend to store testosterone in their fat cells, so the more fat you burn off the more testosterone you will be releasing into your blood stream. This means more hair growth, stronger erections, huge sexual desires, and if you hit the gym a lot some more strength. Guys with erectile issues may see those issues go away when they lose the weight off.

Also your confidence will start to grow the more the weight comes off. You will look and feel better in your clothes. If you have a lot of fat padding around your pelvic area that will shrink away, which can help in penis growth a bit. Less fat around the "Ram Rod of Justice" I say the better for both you, your ego, and his/her pleasure (for my bi/gay friends there don't wanna leave you all out).

I say all of this because I too was in your shoes almost three years ago. Hell if they would have told me about the sexual benefits, as well as me buying normal size clothes in normal stores I would have done the surgery years ago. Instead all I heard about or feared was the complications from the surgery, and all the foods I could no longer eat. Yeah sometimes I do miss being able to eat anything I wanted to eat, but I wouldn't go back to it at all. Because now I enjoy so so much more out of life than what is on my plate.

Edited May 4, 20179 yr by BigTink2LilTink

The advice from @BigTink2LilTink fits my experience really well. The only other thing that I will add is to prepare yourself for how differently people will treat you. Honestly, I wasn't well-prepared for that or my reaction to it. In general, strangers in public (stores, etc.) are much nicer and more friendly to me now than at my pre-op weight. Many of my friends also treat me differently (in a positive sense). Some of that, I'm sure, is a function of me acting more confidently at my new size. What I did not expect was how much the difference in my treatment by others would piss me off. That was something I wasn't prepared for and is something that I have had to force myself to calm down about.

13 hours ago, Thucydides said:

The advice from @BigTink2LilTink fits my experience really well. The only other thing that I will add is to prepare yourself for how differently people will treat you. Honestly, I wasn't well-prepared for that or my reaction to it. In general, strangers in public (stores, etc.) are much nicer and more friendly to me now than at my pre-op weight. Many of my friends also treat me differently (in a positive sense). Some of that, I'm sure, is a function of me acting more confidently at my new size. What I did not expect was how much the difference in my treatment by others would piss me off. That was something I wasn't prepared for and is something that I have had to force myself to calm down about.

Oh god yes, this too. The way people who knew you prior to the weight loss vs after is indeed going to change. I've, also unfortunately, ran across a lot of people (i.e. women) who wouldn't give me the time of day when I was at my heaviest weight, now all of a sudden they wanna be in a "relationship with me". You have to watch out for those types of folks as well, because they are usually the type that will assume that you have low self-esteem and will just accept any sort of treatment. Not everyone that smiles in your face and compliments you on your weight loss journey is meant to be in your inner circle of people. So don't get blinded by the looks of the "hottie at the bar" who didn't give you the time of day a year ago, but now wanna jump your bones cause you can see your pelvic bones now.

Edited May 5, 20179 yr by BigTink2LilTink

I see that you asked for men to reply, I am not a man...LOL...but I would like to add that the absolute biggest challenge for me has been HAVING NO CHOICE BUT TO FOLLOW THE RULES. Sounds silly, but once I realized my CHOICE to eat what I wanted when I wanted pushed me to the brink. I was morbidly obese and am so very thankful for the weight loss; however, I had medical issues with my stomach and this is the reason I had RNY. For the first few days it's a honeymoon, you're still getting used to things and trying to figure out how to get all of the required fluids in. After a week of that I found I was really mad that I couldn't eat something!! I wish it had been a requirement of my surgeon to have a full liquid diet for the 2 weeks pre-op. That could have made the adjustment a little easier.

Thanks for the replies so far. This is basically what I was expecting to hear. It's making the decision to have the surgery done a little easier. And nazeninja my doctor required that I do a full 2 week pre op liquid diet, so hopefully that will help out some

49 minutes ago, NazeNinja said:

I see that you asked for men to reply, I am not a man...LOL...but I would like to add that the absolute biggest challenge for me has been HAVING NO CHOICE BUT TO FOLLOW THE RULES. Sounds silly, but once I realized my CHOICE to eat what I wanted when I wanted pushed me to the brink.

Same here! I have a gastric band and I know this is bad but there are days when I think to myself "I've been good, I'm going to cheat!" Years and years of conditioning is very difficult to overcome. You know how you diet for a couple months and all you want to do is go to McDonalds and go nuts ordering 2 cheeseburgers, a large order of fries, and a large milkshake? Then you eat it all and still want pizza so you order a pizza to go pick up and take home? That was me. I HAD to fill my stomach until it hurt. Thing is, even if I WANT to cheat, I CAN'T. If I try, it hurts - badly. If I eat too fast, food gets stuck and I'm miserable and no longer enjoy the meal. If I eat slowly, I get full after 6-8 bites regardless of what I'm eating. If I try to eat beyond the "satisfied" signal, I get a stomach ache. And worse, the ache lasts for hours because I'd have distended my pouch and it takes hours for the food to filter into the larger part of my stomach. That's why it works - the satisfaction lasts several hours and the amount of food is small. It's great. But it can suck sometimes if you really, really want a good binge but you cannot do it anymore. It is mostly a blessing, though. No one should want to eat like that.

sexually its night and day, had a great sex life before, but its like putting a twin turbo on your fun bits afterward. not only did i go from 5 inches to a nice 8.5 after, you can now , do more with what you have as well. Now sure there are skin issues for not looking so great in the nude, but i was prepared for that. and yes the stamina etc is so much better now. i keep my wife worn out thanks to the uptick in sexual appetite.

And i do echo the others sentiments on how people treat you. its also night and day, i always had great friends to help me and etc but everyone will treat you different, most of it is completely subconsciously, but it is a big difference. had my surgery hit my goal weight a year later and int he months that followed, I received 3 promotions 2 bonuses and now i lead my team of people and I am the " go to guy" people see you as now being responsible and capable when you lose, but the fat guy, not so much. kind of sucks but it is true.

2 hours ago, Stevehud said:

sexually its night and day, had a great sex life before, but its like putting a twin turbo on your fun bits afterward. not only did i go from 5 inches to a nice 8.5 after, you can now , do more with what you have as well. Now sure there are skin issues for not looking so great in the nude, but i was prepared for that. and yes the stamina etc is so much better now. i keep my wife worn out thanks to the uptick in sexual appetite.

And i do echo the others sentiments on how people treat you. its also night and day, i always had great friends to help me and etc but everyone will treat you different, most of it is completely subconsciously, but it is a big difference. had my surgery hit my goal weight a year later and int he months that followed, I received 3 promotions 2 bonuses and now i lead my team of people and I am the " go to guy" people see you as now being responsible and capable when you lose, but the fat guy, not so much. kind of sucks but it is true.

Horrible that you had to physically become a different person in order to get recognized at work.

4 hours ago, Stevehud said:

sexually its night and day, had a great sex life before, but its like putting a twin turbo on your fun bits afterward. not only did i go from 5 inches to a nice 8.5 after, you can now , do more with what you have as well. Now sure there are skin issues for not looking so great in the nude, but i was prepared for that. and yes the stamina etc is so much better now. i keep my wife worn out thanks to the uptick in sexual appetite.

And i do echo the others sentiments on how people treat you. its also night and day, i always had great friends to help me and etc but everyone will treat you different, most of it is completely subconsciously, but it is a big difference. had my surgery hit my goal weight a year later and int he months that followed, I received 3 promotions 2 bonuses and now i lead my team of people and I am the " go to guy" people see you as now being responsible and capable when you lose, but the fat guy, not so much. kind of sucks but it is true.

Good for you. Hopefully I have the same kind of success in losing all the weight in need to to be able to reach my goal weight once I have my surgery. And like Tink said, it is horrible that you had to lose weight to succeed in your job like you have. Thanks for the input.

On 5/8/2017 at 1:07 PM, BigTink2LilTink said:

Horrible that you had to physically become a different person in order to get recognized at work.

People discriminate.. it's the nature of humanity. I've experienced it myself as an American with a lot of Canadian companies out east (Ontario, Quebec).

Good luck to you on your weight loss journey my friend. Though others who haven't walked in the shoes of a person morbidly obese, may say that surgery is the "easy way out", I'm hear to tell you that there isn't anything easy about this procedure at all. So the first tip I will give you is this, prepare to work your ass off, cause thinking that this is the magical cure all for your weight-loss blues is going to sourly disappoint you. You have got to prepare your mind and will power for this life changing procedure. Because its just that, life changing.

If you have an unhealthy relationship with food (i.e. using food as a cope mechanism, addict, emotional eater, etc) then I would highly suggest that you need to deal with those issues first before going under the knife. Get a very good support system in place to help you mentally deal with those things prior to the surgery. For me I had friends who had already had the surgery that I could lean on for advice, and I was seeing a therapist to deal with some of my emotional issues related to stress/food/and image issues.
Because once you get cut on and have 80% of your stomach removed, you won't be able to use food as a comfort release or coping mechanism as you may have done in the past. I learned that lesson the absolute hard way and I spent a good bit of my first year post surgery fixing and dealing with those mistakes that I made, because I wasn't as mentally ready for the surgery as previously thought. And experiencing dumping once or twice and needing IV fluids to be able to see, and comprehend again will make you follow the damn meal plans.

Carbonation beverages I would just avoid, especially the first year or so. Now you will have a lot of people here that say never do it and some say its alright, I leave that up to you for you are an adult and can make your own decisions on that. For me I do rarely consume carbonated beverages (maybe a soda or hard cider ever 2 to 4 months at most), but I mostly find comfort in drinking flavored water, tea, coffee, and juice. I use to be about a 1.5/2liter a day diet Pepsi drinker and now I may have a can every 6 to 8 weeks at most and usually when I am out.

I haven't really had a beer in like almost two years but I have consumed hard alcohol like Tequila, Rum, Bourbon, and Whiskey. Alcohol is very different for me now in that I don't need no where near as much as I did pre-surgery to get a buzz. So because of that and the fact that I don't like the "buzzed/drunk" feeling I limit the amount of alcohol I consume too. If I am out socially I usually have one to two drinks at most and I sip them slowly throughout the evening to minimize the affects that the alcohol will have on me. As the farther out from surgery I have gone, my tolerance has slowly increased, but its nowhere near where it was at per-surgery. Again not a bad thing because alcohol, especially beer is empty calories, and gas which you will not need. Trust me on the gas part cause being bloated is an absolute pain in the gut literally.

I say all of that in the regards that you don't need the stuff really. Those first 12 to 24 months you should honestly be focused on eating properly and getting into a good workout/exercise routine so that you can continue to post gains(weight loss) while your VGS is still in its magical weight-loss phase. Cause eventually you will hit the stall and the tool will at some point stop being so magical. Get into good habits and work your ass off literally and you will see the difference.
Sex
Yes it will change. If you had low stamina and energy, it will increase. I mean you will have a lot less weight and body mass to deal with, so there is that bonus too. Also men tend to store testosterone in their fat cells, so the more fat you burn off the more testosterone you will be releasing into your blood stream. This means more hair growth, stronger erections, huge sexual desires, and if you hit the gym a lot some more strength. Guys with erectile issues may see those issues go away when they lose the weight off.

Also your confidence will start to grow the more the weight comes off. You will look and feel better in your clothes. If you have a lot of fat padding around your pelvic area that will shrink away, which can help in penis growth a bit. Less fat around the "Ram Rod of Justice" I say the better for both you, your ego, and his/her pleasure (for my bi/gay friends there don't wanna leave you all out).
I say all of this because I too was in your shoes almost three years ago. Hell if they would have told me about the sexual benefits, as well as me buying normal size clothes in normal stores I would have done the surgery years ago. Instead all I heard about or feared was the complications from the surgery, and all the foods I could no longer eat. Yeah sometimes I do miss being able to eat anything I wanted to eat, but I wouldn't go back to it at all. Because now I enjoy so so much more out of life than what is on my plate.

Man thanks you answered all the questions I had

On 5/22/2017 at 10:04 PM, bigjoe1234 said:

Man thanks you answered all the questions I had

Glad I could be of help to you.

Definitely be careful regarding the coping mechanisms. Especially with alcohol. I have several people at my job who have had the procedure and spouses/relatives that had the procedure. Several of them (like 30% which is a crazy rate) became serious alcoholics. I can only think this was a new way to self medicate.

Sent from my Nexus 6P using BariatricPal mobile app

On 5/8/2017 at 1:04 PM, Stevehud said:

sexually its night and day, had a great sex life before, but its like putting a twin turbo on your fun bits afterward. not only did i go from 5 inches to a nice 8.5 after, you can now , do more with what you have as well. Now sure there are skin issues for not looking so great in the nude, but i was prepared for that. and yes the stamina etc is so much better now. i keep my wife worn out thanks to the uptick in sexual appetite.

And i do echo the others sentiments on how people treat you. its also night and day, i always had great friends to help me and etc but everyone will treat you different, most of it is completely subconsciously, but it is a big difference. had my surgery hit my goal weight a year later and int he months that followed, I received 3 promotions 2 bonuses and now i lead my team of people and I am the " go to guy" people see you as now being responsible and capable when you lose, but the fat guy, not so much. kind of sucks but it is true.

I totally agree. I had roux en y in May. I have lost 55 lbs so far and my wife and I have noticed a big difference in size and erection hardness. It also seems like I can feel so much more than before. Def looking forward to the next 50.