Hi everyone I'm new to this so i went to my first Phys evaluation a week ago they asked me all kinda of questions they asked me how my spouse feel about me getting weight loss surgery i told her he wasnt a 100% happy about it bout he wasn't a 100% against it so now i have to go back twice for counseling before my surgery because they feel like my husband isn't going to support me can this stop me from getting the surgery i know my husband will support me he already is he is more scare about risk than anything be careful what you say to them when they ask you listen to the question before answering. Thanks in advance

I haven't went through my Phys evaluation yet, but I did go to an orientation and they were saying the percentage is super high for couples to divorce after one of them has weight-loss surgery.
I have heard they do you want a good support system for the patient that is having surgery

Yes i heard the same after my eva but me and my husband are best friends we do everything together he was just a little scared about the risk.

I wonder why couples separate after the surgery

They said because the other person gets skinny and people start paying more attention to them and the other person gets jealous that was one of the things they said.

@ Tammylee66 wow! Thats crazy but realistic but its not like all people have been always huge when they meant their significant other.

In my evaluation, he asked me about my support system. How was my family taking the news that I wanted to get the surgery. I told him the following:

"My Mom and Boyfriend are nervous about it because they do not want anything bad to happen to me. They worry that I may forget to take my Vitamins or I won't go to the hospital if I am not feeling good. That's their biggest concern."

As far as couples splitting up after surgery, a lady in my support group shared some light on the matter.

"She was married 17 years. The first 15 years she was overweight. She had the greatest relationship with her husband during that time. Then she went to the doctor and found out she had all these health issues and she decided to get the gastric sleeve. She said her husband was not supportive at all. He would not even help her when she was got home. Her sister had to come. Once she began to gain her independence, her husband became more and more distant. She said she felt as though he was upset with her because she did not depend on him as much. She also stated that he started getting jealous and insecure. After 2 years, she filed for divorce. At that time she stated that she realized that she had changed. He was happy as long as she was extremely obese and needed him and she was happy that she no longer needed him."

Each case is different. I think that because her husband was not willing to participate and be supportive, their marriage fell apart.

I think people whom lose the weight, change their mindsets. Instead of the thinking of what they can't do or get and they start thinking of what they can do or get. I also think that some partners do not grow with their significant others.

One more thought..... how about most/all sleevers go through some type of emotional imbalances, due to the surgery itself. Some very severe. Others not so much. Also, if you become deficient in your vitamins. You will also be thrown off. Just food for thought. Sometimes we need to look in ourselves before we look out at others. I'm just saying.......

The general consensus from the chats in our support group, with and without they psych in attendance, is that WLS is a stressful time for couples, but that it tends to make a strong relationship stronger while seriously testing, or breaking, weaker ones.

Still at it here 12 years post op for my wife and 6 years out on mine - so it does happen!

@RickM it is good to hear someone that made it through the tough times. It seems that a lot of couples in my support group do not make it. I will admit, I worry some times. I worry if I will change. Do you have any advise on how to successfully navigate WLS while in a relationship?

One more thought..... how about most/all sleevers go through some type of emotional imbalances, due to the surgery itself. Some very severe. Others not so much. Also, if you become deficient in your vitamins. You will also be thrown off. Just food for thought. Sometimes we need to look in ourselves before we look out at others. I'm just saying.......

Tell me more about what you have heard about emotional eaters with gastric sleeve surgery. I had mine done January 26th and I have been a blubbering idiot ever since. I am thrilled about the surgery and recovering my strength and definitely losing weight but I just had the motional belts where I Cry. For the life of me I can't figure out why. Would love to know what you've heard

Hi everyone I'm new to this so i went to my first Phys evaluation a week ago they asked me all kinda of questions they asked me how my spouse feel about me getting weight loss surgery i told her he wasnt a 100% happy about it bout he wasn't a 100% against it so now i have to go back twice for counseling before my surgery because they feel like my husband isn't going to support me can this stop me from getting the surgery i know my husband will support me he already is he is more scare about risk than anything be careful what you say to them when they ask you listen to the question before answering. Thanks in advance

Sometime when it comes to that you have to tell them what they want to hear because they're looking for any reason not to approve you I past mine it was easy I was myself and kelp it 100 we had a great time when it was over he told me I passed my test and sent it to my Doc the next day
But Good Luck Boo

veronica

Fat to Fabulous

It's good to have a strong support team. No one can tell you how this surgery will turn out. You need to hope for the best but prepare for the worst. Some people come out with no pain like myself, others had great pain. My difficulty started after I got home and couldn't meet my required Fluid, and Protein intake. My team was there and I sooo needed them. My emotions was off the charts. It was very difficult getting a grip on them. I have a very nice loving husband, he waited on me hand and foot. I really wanted him to move out of the home and not come back. Sounds crazy right? Jacked up emotions. Strong support team makes the whole thing bearable especially if something goes wrong.