There are so many nice, intelligent people contributing to these forums. Their information is on point, their insight invaluable!! I look for some of these people under all of the comments so that I can follow them for their remarks, advice and humour!!

THEN there are those people, mainly women I'm sorry to say, who take every remark, every answer, every comment that does not suit them and they turn the discussion into a battle!! They seem to feel that everything written is an attack on their sanity, their intellect or their standing in the world!! They go into attack mode with the slightest provocation and insist you leave their thread and their life!! I truly don't understand this kind of mentality and how people with such thin skin can function in the real world!!

It's so nice to a have a forum of like minded individuals, WLS/losing weight, where everything and anything can be discussed. Why ruin it with name calling, direct personal attacks and a militant stance?

Please remember now, this is MY RANT!!

@@Middus Stop it! You're making entirely too much sense here!

Well said @Odie.

There is too much butthurt around here.

This is a bariatric forum......a place where we've come....we've taken extreme measures to gain control over our health.

Some folks choose to keep their heads buried in the sand and simply want a warm blanket thrown on them. Let 'em stay there...heads buried....tide will come in and drown them at some point. I simply don't have the energy to help them any longer. Ignorance is a choice at this point. There is no way that somebody reaches the point where they reach the act of actually having wls and they don't know the basics. No way in hell. They've been briefed and they choose to ignore it.

The rest of us will do the work to reach our goals and live lean and happy. It's not always easy....but it's much easier since surgery.

I'm so tired of the childish butthurt that I see around here. Folks need to grow up and own up. Solutions have been provided if they'll simply own their actions.

Aye, but ignoring butthurt is also technically burying your head in the sand. I have done some adult teaching in my life and have to come to the realisation that for those who choose to bury their heads, it's their heads, and it's their sand. If we really cared about those we're are advising, we won't let discussions deteriorate. Some of the 'Advisors' just come of as being self righteous *insert whatever term*. Some of those being advised come of as whiny little *whatevers*. Surely there has to be a middle ground if what we really care about is progress for everyone?

If some people want to fail, advise, move on.. The problem is that when we move on, we carry sentiments from the last 'destined to fail' person onto the next person asking a similarly dumb looking (but very innocent) question.

We answer with a terse or dismissive answer and wonder why the person asking is pissed off?

I complete agree. Not only that, but they wonder why anyone would answer a certain way, when they're the one who provoked them and basically called them a liar.

I am very forgiving, and I am always willing to settle a disagreement like an adult. But I always frown upon passive-aggressive drama, especially from someone many years older than me. I respect my elders, but it's hard to have a certain amount of respect for someone who refuses to settle anything in a mature manner.

I'm pretty sure this post is directed at me, considering it was posted about 2 hours after I responded to your comment on my post. You came onto my post, basically calling me a liar, and you thought I wouldn't respond in a very deserving manner?

Also, I have posted several helpful and kind comments on this forum, but you're choosing to talk about the one you provoked me on. Then you come here to "secretly" bash me, thinking I wouldn't see it. (But I'm almost certain you were hoping I would.) I don't appreciate it. An adult would have messaged me and discussed this with me. But instead, you chose to act passive-aggressive and childish.

Now, if this isn't directed at me, I apologize. But I'd be very surprised if it wasn't, considering the timing.

2 things:

Animals are provoked. They lack the cognitive faculties to weigh their decisions against the consequences of their actions. People's actions should never be justified by turning the tables around on their "provoker". We ARE all adults, and if someone picks a fight - it's on us to walk away. It's no one else's fault if you got mad and lost control.

Second - It doesn't necessarily follow that the only adult thing to do is to message someone to discuss their grievances. Would I start a thread about it? No. But they're not mutually exclusive options, either.

I'm not interested in having a private conversation with every person with whom I have disagreed with. If someone wants to bring it up on a thread dedicated to me, as long as they aren't name calling and being ridiculous I don't have an issue with it.

I'm pretty sure this post is directed at me, considering it was posted about 2 hours after I responded to your comment on my post. You came onto my post, basically calling me a liar, and you thought I wouldn't respond in a very deserving manner?

Also, I have posted several helpful and kind comments on this forum, but you're choosing to talk about the one you provoked me on. Then you come here to "secretly" bash me, thinking I wouldn't see it. (But I'm almost certain you were hoping I would.) I don't appreciate it. An adult would have messaged me and discussed this with me. But instead, you chose to act passive-aggressive and childish.

Now, if this isn't directed at me, I apologize. But I'd be very surprised if it wasn't, considering the timing.

2 things:

Animals are provoked. They lack the cognitive faculties to weigh their decisions against the consequences of their actions. People's actions should never be justified by turning the tables around on their "provoker". We ARE all adults, and if someone picks a fight - it's on us to walk away. It's no one else's fault if you got mad and lost control.

Second - It doesn't necessarily follow that the only adult thing to do is to message someone to discuss their grievances. Would I start a thread about it? No. But they're not mutually exclusive options, either.

I'm not interested in having a private conversation with every person with whom I have disagreed with. If someone wants to bring it up on a thread dedicated to me, as long as they aren't name calling and being ridiculous I don't have an issue with it.

Did you read the post I'm talking about? I did not lose control. If someone were to assume someone else is lying, most people would react exactly how I did. It's human nature to react in certain ways. You are entitled to your own opinion, but it is immature to passive-aggressively rant about someone on a thread which was motivated by their own crappy attitude. Why couldn't she just type it to me? Probably because she knows she's wrong, or maybe because she's worried that people will see how she's wrong, and lay it into her. If you go read my post, you'll see that it was her being rude, and I was responding appropriately to her rudeness. I never said the only adult thing to do is to message me about it. Other adult things to do would be to try to see where I'm coming from, ignore me, or respond civilly. But she chose to childishly post about me on her own thread, which she was probably hoping I would see. So, I have every right to defend myself.

There are a few reasons why people feel the need to talk behind others backs. Some people are intimidated and can't express themselves in the moment, so they do it later, to others. (Very likely.) Some are insecure or afraid and feel better about themselves when they put someone else down. (Also very likely.)

As for me, I'm very interested in having a private conversation with people I have a disagreement with, because I don't like holding on to negativity with certain people. However, I have no tolerance for people who act passive-aggressive. I actually do feel bad for her, though, because she's probably just really insecure and unhappy. But again, I have the right to defend myself.

I admit to be somewhat "forthright" with my opinions and even to being outright aggressive when I comment on bad or dangerous advice. My co workers say I have an extreme bullsh*t allergy.

Over my short time here I am getting a feel for the difference between a person who want validation for their behavior and one that is fielding opinions and ideas. I now pass on threads that I might have posted on just a month ago.

I have also noticed that the snowflakes tend to stick together, often creating a giant blizzard of drama. But I learned not to call a precious snowflake a snowflake. No matter what, not ever. And more important, to avoid a flair of my BS allergy, learned how to use the block feature.

@@Aggiemae I installed one of these on my machine. It is a big help.

@@Odie - Well they are not as bad as the "social justice warriers" I seem to run into on FB who just can't take a joke. It's like Mr. Hugh Mungus...

@@Odie - Well they are not as bad as the "social justice warriers" I seem to run into on FB who just can't take a joke. It's like Mr. Hugh Mungus...

Yes, thank God there are no video options on this forum!! lol Thank you for this, so apropos!

Omg that literally just happened to me. I feel your pain. I think those people need additional psych evals.

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