Excited to be ill?
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Ok, so I hope this doesn't come up when I do my psych eval, but I feel like I just got the best news yesterday - I went to a sleep disorder Dr. and he pre-diagnosed me with sleep apnea. It was all I could do to hold back a big, beaming smile!
He has to do the definitive sleep study test, but he was pretty sure I have it.
So why am I happy to be diagnosed with something so serious?
I'm a low BMI-er (36 right now) and I'vve been sooo nervous about not being approved. My ins co will, however, approve me if I have sleep apnea.
There is some seriously messed up psychological stuff that goes with this banding thing...yowza. Very strange, but real. I'm reading all these threads about being afraid to be thin, concern about not eating more of the foods that are currently killing us, all kinds of stuff (and I'm there with y'all - we have a nice roomy boat here). And now this. I feel a little nuts (well chewwed, of course!), but I guess that's just the path.
I need to accept my feelings and reactions as they are, and not try to judge them. I think that'll be a big step toward recovery for me anyway, since I'll not have food to psh those "unacceptable" reactions and feelings down once I get banded...
Sorry for the ramble - just had to get it out.
~kat