So this is my first post. I've been researching and contemplating bariatric surgery for a few years now, but it's only recently that I decided to put my foot on the road and start the journey. A little background: I'm a 38 year old woman, 3 kids, and husband, cat mom (hoping to bring in a dog soon too, hehe) I've been overweight all my life. All 3 pregnancies were with gestational diabetes, but I managed without meds, and that has been the only time I've ever lost significant weight. Actually, prior to my first pregnancy, I cut out soda, and stopped relying on hamburger helper/boxed meals for dinner, and went from 255 to about 230. My weight over the years has fluctuated between 200 to 230. My biggest problem now is diabetes. I was diagnosed with type 2 a few years back.

I'm on metformin, which my body doesn't handle well. In 2015, I lost my mother, who was over 300lbs and had diabetes to complications from diabetes. It has really scared me, enough that I've had anxiety issues since, and what's really pushing me to find a way to lose weight.

After all my research, I'm aiming for the sleeve. I've been to my program's orientation, and met with the Nurse Practitioner. I now have loads of appointments, and a goal of losing 12 lbs by January 24. It feels like a lot, only because my timing is poor and I'm doing all this through the Christmas season. While I'd like surgery in March, I'm actually thinking May would be better since my older kids would still be in school, but my husband would be home (he's a professor) so that he can take care of my 3 year old. I could try to time it right so that it happened over his spring break too, but that's going to take the stars aligning just right, lol.

Anyways, I feel like I'm taking on a whole bunch of stuff at once, and I'm not sure how to handle it all. My husband is a good man, who listens, but as he says "I'm not a therapist and other than listening, I'm not sure how to help you." I've got an appointment with a therapist, but not until January, so I'm on my own.

So I guess here's my questions...how do you keep focused? I have little direction at this point, and find my confidence wavering. It's always a stressful time of year for me, and while I realize that I have to change how I handle stress, I feel a bit "thrown into the fire" by doing all this now and not say...next month, when I'd have more time to learn more ways to deal with everything. (Another back story, December goes like this: Christmas Eve, Christmas, my oldest' birthday, my youngest birthday, and 10 days later but within the 12 Days of Christmas, my middle child's birthday.)

I find the site here too big so I'm not sure where to read in order to get more positive stories and other helpful information. I read a few books, but I guess I'm not ready to invest in any sort of emotional eating books. I'm counting calories and watching what I eat, and trying to exercise more, but really, that's not enough to keep me focused completely. So what other resources do you use? Sites with good articles and information, positive stories of success, etc?

And finally, on a grosser note, and a rather...embarrassing question to ask, but how are bowel movements after surgery? I mean mostly on the long term, but I ask because one of the biggest factors to not just simply "losing weight with diet and exercise without the surgery" is I can't handle the thought of being on metformin for the rest of my life. Even at 1000mgs, the loose BM's are horrid and painful and interfering with my every day life (with my current primary care physician pushing for me to move up to 1500mgs despite my protests). I have this worry that I'll still be dealing with intestinal issues after surgery. So if you have had the surgery, and were on metformin, did you get off of it? If you've had intestinal issues in the past, have they continued after surgery?

Sorry for the novel!

Welcome! yes, it's all a bit overwhelming: all the terminology, all the appointments, all the requirements. You'll learn. It's a journey, take one day at a time. I'm a busy mom like you--2 teenage boys, one stepdaughter, 2 cats, 2 dogs and a husband. I work full-time as a military analyst AND have a part-time sewing business on the side. I keep focused by making one change at a time and looking at before and after pictures. I do that A LOT on this board. I also am obsessed with information about the surgery and what my life is going to be like. I'm trolling this board a lot. Also, I think having a support group like this board keeps me focused.

Again, welcome to the board. Read, laugh, share, enjoy.

@@fatchocobomom

Hello and welcome!!

I am relatively "new". I had sleeve surgery 9 weeks ago. I can address the pre-op focus portion. I have Neve been diabetic so I can't offer advice there.

Congratulations on your first steps towards getting heathy! I agree that starting your pre-op diet during the holidays and birthdays might be difficult. (Seems you and your husband really like the month of March..wink wink ).

My advice on staying focused is to visualize the life you want. Can you see yourself diabetic free and in smaller clothes? Can you imaging yourself pain free and active? How about summer clothes, feeling sexy, and healthy for your kids? visualize that life as you go through this busy, festive month.

(I started mine just before halloween. I kept seeing everyone partaking in the stuff I loved, the foods of fall, the holidays, etc, but what I had in my mind was how I would look and feel next summer because I am NOT partaking in all of that stuff).

During my pre-surgery work ups and diet, I stayed on track because I was determined to get the life I want. It was only possible if I stayed on task. The day of surgery was a celebration in itself, like a second birthday.

Your husband sounds supportive, so perhaps he will prepare the yummy foods for your kids birthdays, etc.

As for losing 12 lbs before Jan 24, it's doable. I lost 17 lbs on the pre-op liquid Protein diet. If you replace one or two meals a day with Protein shakes and then eat one meal lower in carbs I bet you will see the weight start dropping.

Whether you decide to start this month or next, if you want a new life bad enough, you will find yourself jumping through hoops and staying on course.

Good luck and keep us posted on your journey!!

Edited December 7, 20169 yr by The New Kel

My main thing for focus is keep in mind why you're doing this. Put a note in your phone (or an actual note on your night stand) with your reasons. Look at it every day when you wake up. Every day. Starting your day with "I'm going to eat healthy today and go one my walk because mom went through x y and z and I don't want my kids to experience that" and "when I lose weight I will be able to do a b and c" will help you stay focused. It's not fool proof but it puts you in a focused mindset!

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Welcome! yes, it's all a bit overwhelming: all the terminology, all the appointments, all the requirements. You'll learn. It's a journey, take one day at a time. I'm a busy mom like you--2 teenage boys, one stepdaughter, 2 cats, 2 dogs and a husband. I work full-time as a military analyst AND have a part-time sewing business on the side. I keep focused by making one change at a time and looking at before and after pictures. I do that A LOT on this board. I also am obsessed with information about the surgery and what my life is going to be like. I'm trolling this board a lot. Also, I think having a support group like this board keeps me focused.

Again, welcome to the board. Read, laugh, share, enjoy.

Thanks! I think that's practical. Friends tell me I should relax more and not worry so much, but I'm just that type that likes information, even if it gets to the point of overkill.

@@fatchocobomom

Hello and welcome!!

I am relatively "new". I had sleeve surgery 9 weeks ago. I can address the pre-op focus portion. I have Neve been diabetic so I can't offer advice there.

Congratulations on your first steps towards getting heathy! I agree that starting your pre-op diet during the holidays and birthdays might be difficult. (Seems you and your husband really like the month of March..wink wink ).

My advice on staying focused is to visualize the life you want. Can you see yourself diabetic free and in smaller clothes? Can you imaging yourself pain free and active? How about summer clothes, feeling sexy, and healthy for your kids? visualize that life as you go through this busy, festive month.

(I started mine just before halloween. I kept seeing everyone partaking in the stuff I loved, the foods of fall, the holidays, etc, but what I had in my mind was how I would look and feel next summer because I am NOT partaking in all of that stuff).

During my pre-surgery work ups and diet, I stayed on track because I was determined to get the life I want. It was only possible if I stayed on task. The day of surgery was a celebration in itself, like a second birthday.

Your husband sounds supportive, so perhaps he will prepare the yummy foods for your kids birthdays, etc.

As for losing 12 lbs before Jan 24, it's doable. I lost 17 lbs on the pre-op liquid Protein diet. If you replace one or two meals a day with protein shakes and then eat one meal lower in carbs I bet you will see the weight start dropping.

Whether you decide to start this month or next, if you want a new life bad enough, you will find yourself jumping through hoops and staying on course.

Good luck and keep us posted on your journey!!

Haha, we do enjoy those first warm days of spring!

I find visualizing all this really hard. I can't imagine myself thin, not because I think I can't, but because I've never been thin. When I think about what I'll look at, I'm at a loss. But I am determined, even if it's really hard. Today's been rough for some reason...I'm so hungry despite eating enough today. And I can visualize the other stuff!

I think I'll feel much better once I talk to the surgeon, and the nutritionist. I like guidance, and like knowing what's expected on my end. I don't even know if the program I'm in does liquid prep diets or what, lol. I guess I'll find out at support group next week. (It'll be my first group.)

Thanks for all your advice.

My main thing for focus is keep in mind why you're doing this. Put a note in your phone (or an actual note on your night stand) with your reasons. Look at it every day when you wake up. Every day. Starting your day with "I'm going to eat healthy today and go one my walk because mom went through x y and z and I don't want my kids to experience that" and "when I lose weight I will be able to do a b and c" will help you stay focused. It's not fool proof but it puts you in a focused mindset!

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

I like this idea, thank you.