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Why, for Pete's sake, do my students think I want to know about their health issues? I mean, I DO want to know if they are going to be missing class, but I don't want to know every single detail about their diarrhea or how they've been in the hospital because they haven't had a bowel movement in two weeks. Haven't they ever heard the expression "too much information?" I just want to say, "Thanks for telling me. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go stab my ears."