Hi I'm four months post op and I've lost 50 lbs. 4 days before my surgery, my wife of 12 years decided that she wanted a separation. As you can imagine, I was floored by this, it was a total surprise to me. Anyways, I've started dating and trying to move on from this. I've been seeing a woman that I like very much but I have not told her about my surgery. I'm starting to feel like I'm hiding something from her. When and how should I tell her about this. I'm afraid that she might see me in a different light. Thanks for any input!

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My thought is....if she really cares about you, she isnt

going to care if you have had WLS surgery or not. She should tell you how proud she is of you for making such a positive change in your life. We all know this is not an easy thing to do, so she should have lots of respect for you making this positive lifestyle change. I think you should just be honest and tell her that you are sorry you haven't mentioned it before, but that you were nervous about what her response would be, but that you just didn't want to keep it from her any longer. If she gives you any negativity about it, then she is probably not the right one for you. I have a feeling she is going to be very proud of what you have done and how far you have come. The best of luck to you, and keep up the great work. Let us know how it goes.

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You've done and are doing something positive for yourself. If she screams and slaps you, it's your turn to file for separation.

Edited November 16, 20169 yr by WLSResources/ClothingExch

I really can't imagine that she would think any differently because you had WLS. And if she did, she probably is not the one for you...

Good luck.

I honestly can't remember when I told my (now) husband about my weight loss surgery, but I think is was when we started getting serious. I do know that when I did, he immediately shared that he had Crohn's disease and everything was out there...obviously it was a non issue for us and we are still going strong 10 years later.

So....you took permanent steps to give you leverage over being in better control of your health and well being.......and your wife has bugged out on you.....and you've found someone you really like.

I would think it would become fairly evident that something was different in that your way of eating and ongoing weight loss is effectively shedding pounds. If you really saw future times with this person it seems to be one of the things you'd share with her. Supremely doubtful that she'll judge you by this...if so, then....better to know now and move on.

I think we all feel somewhat defined by our wls in the early days as it's such a huge change for us. As time passes the new ways of eating and hopefully the increased activity just become the norm and we don't feel so compromised by our health. I think it becomes much easier to share with people as time passes.

What a fun suprise it would be if she answered that she also had wls! You can't know her reaction unless you tell her. Either way it might come up some day. Better to get it out of the way before telling her becomes a bigger hurdle. I'm sure she will share something private with you as well.

Nilla

I wouldn't put so much weight on how she might feel about it.

How do you feel about your WLS? Are you proud of yourself? Are you ashamed that it came down to surgery to help salvage your health?

If you are proud of where you are, and stand by your decision there's no reason not to share Tunis with someone you are developing feelings for. It'll most likely come up eventually at a dinner party, where you are left explaining all the empty space left on your plate.

If you feel ashamed or embarrassed, that will most likely eminate through your conversation. I know I wouldn't want a potential romantic partner to feel sorry for me, like I had undergone this procedure but was so unhappy about it or not confident in my decision.

I think it's up to the person, and how confident they feel about their WLS to decide who/when to share it with.

Just tell her the longer you wait the worse it will be.

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