Beating yourself up

[Barepigies3 0]

I am 55 and getting the sleeve on Nov. 9th. I just want to let people know that, most of us fat people are designed that way! I know that sounds rediculos but it's true, Our genetics play the biggest role. Both my parents were thin thin, both my brothers were thin. Me... well depression kicked in real early for me, in my teens. That's what started it. That is a chemical imbalance not a "oh I'm so sad" thing. My brothers and I ate pretty much the same, we all were into sports, and I was a Tom boy. I came from a time when you got home from school put your play clothes on and went outside until dinner. We played hard, yet I still got fat! When you're a teenager that depresses you even more and now you start comfort eating. You are totally unaware that this is happening. I have sever endometriosus, PSOD, hosimoto's, depression, and those things I had no control over.I didn't do anything to get those. However, the high blood pressure, diabetes, high cholesteral, fatty liver, and even osteoarthritus, rhumitoid arthritus and bursitus I had something to do with those. All those thing required meds. Most of the meds make you gain weight. Most of those things kept me from having a normal life. Like excercising, and doing things that require activity. My point here is that us fat people have a lot of what I just said in common....Why do you think that is??? Genetics! Stop beating yourself up for being fat. It's not all your fault. Diabetes starts in your body very early on, it cause you to be the type of person to crave carbs and sweets. Also, the thyroid controls your metabalisum... not you. Metabalisum is 2 things, it controls how fast you digest food and how much energy you have. Notice the thin people eating so much that you just don't know where it all goes, yet they are thin. They also are the ones that have a lot of energy. It's not fair but we have been geneticlly decided before we were even born. So PLEASE, STOP BEATING YOURSELF UP!

[LipstickLady 25,682]

Being fat was absolutely 100% my fault. I've never been one to "beat myself up" about it, nor have I ever been one to deny that I had a terrible relationship with food.

I liked to eat in bulk, I made sh!tty choices, and I ignored common sense more often than not. I wasn't depressed, I didn't eat emotionally, I had no health issues, I was simply stupid.

But I fixed it. That's the bottom line.

[PorkChopExpress 820]

You may have a genetic predisposition to putting on weight, but that is NOT what makes a person obese. Eating more calories than you expend, eating CRAP, and not being active over a long period of time is what makes a person obese. I am absolutely the architect of what I am, today...I take 100% responsibility for it and I know how I got here. I also suffered from depression in my mid twenties...and yes, as a coping mechanism I often ate. But that was because I had begun using food for purposes other than fuel - and that was, again, something I could have chosen NOT to do. But I didn't...I kept doing it, because it made me "feel" good, temporarily. Meanwhile, the pounds just kept piling up.

When you reach a certain level of obesity, I will agree that it becomes almost an impossibility to reverse it based on sheer willpower and self-discipline, alone. Very few people are able to stick it out for the duration of time it takes to lose 100 pounds...let alone 200 or more. But it was the choices they made throughout their lifetimes that got them to the point where they had that problem.

So no, @@Barepigies3, I can't agree with you. It isn't a mystery why we are all obese. We ate too much, and we ate the wrong things, repetitively, over a long period of years. I suggest you start taking ownership of your role in your weight and the behaviors that led to it, because you will find success in long-term weight loss very difficult if you don't.

[Barepigies3 0]

Oh boy, I didn't write this to piss people off or start a war. I have read so many of these posts and so many people hate themselves for what they have done. I take 100% responsibility for being as big as I am. I was simply stating that things happen in ones life that you are not aware of at the time. NOW you know you had an unhealthy relationship food! PorkChopExpress, you may have had depression in your 20's, that's sad, however, you didn't have the same kind as a lot of people. It started with me in my teens and now I am 55 and it's still here. My depression is life long told to me by my doctor.

with this kind of depression , you just don't care. When they say the pain is real, it is. I mentioned that I was a jock, so expending calories is something I did...a lot... So, I'm not going to defend myself on here because you have no idea what my life is like or my health. I was just trying to give people a little hope. Not everyone is in perfect health! Genetics do play a role! There were things I could have done differently, but that is in the past and can't change that now.. So please, don't attach someone when they are trying to help!

[genn 460]

If genetics plays a role in how is it that my brother and I come from the same family same genetics he chose to eat healthy I chose not to you chose the exercise I chose not to make time for exercise I ended up fat he ended up healthy and skinny because he chose his destination and I chose mine I am making changes now to correct the changes that I want to make but is my choice to take ownership in my part of where I went wrong and to make those changes genetics can play a role you're correct it is up to you to change those genetics. I suffer from depression anxiety and numerous health problems not related to the depression and anxiety it may not be my fault that I got depressed or that I have anxiety but it is my fault for using food to cope with that so as I see were part or you were coming from I agree with everything else you have to take ownership. That's like people saying we're all human we all make mistakes you're right we're all human but a mistake is something that you on intentionally do choosing the wrong food and shoving it in your mouth is not a mistake it's a bad choice that needs to be corrected bad choices once again you can say it's human but it's not there are people out there that choose to make the right choices because they're human as well. I have not had my surgery yet I have it on 22 November but I have realized that it's my choices in life that made me the way IM I've used excuses long enough I am no longer allowing those excuses to take over my life I am no longer going to allow food to take over my life excuses are like assholes everybody has one and I'm not saying this to be meani'm being honest we have to take ownership and are part of what made us fat it's not just all one big excuse or genetics good luck to everyone.

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[LipstickLady 25,682]

Oh boy, I didn't write this to piss people off or start a war.

Wait...WHUUUUUUUT?? Who is pissed off? What war?

Just because someone disagrees does not mean they are "attaching" you.

[genn 460]

And nobody can judge anybody else's depression because you never know what that person has been through and you're not walking in their shoes so to say that you don't have the depression that I have should not be said you don't know if he has PTSD I do from stuff that I suffered as a kid with I've been through hell and back but I would never sit there and say your depression isn't like mine. he could've been kidnapped as a kid and held hostage he could've been in the US Army and saw that or watched his friends get blown to pieces or smithereens you don't know what it is that caused his depression that's wrong I'm sorry I'm not trying to be rude but that is something that you don't say to anybody especially if you suffer from depression you should know not to judge anybody else's depression because you don't know what they feel every day only you know what you feel. Gl on ur journey n best wishes to all.

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No war here just speaking my mind LOL did you ever notice that every time you talk in a forum at starting a war that's what you post and a form right is to get people's opinion on subjects at least that's what I thought it was about.

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[Babbs 14,680]

If that's the case, then why do people who have surgery lose weight? It's because of the calorie deficit. None of us obviously had enough of one to lose weight and keep it off before surgery. I'll be the first one to admit it. I ate like crap and sat on my ass, therefore I was fat. Now I eat less, eat healthy, and no longer sit on my ass all the time, therefore I'm not fat.

I agree with you that there are factors that make losing weight more difficult, but let's not sugar coat it. Sometimes those factors are nothing but excuses. After all, you didn't see people in concentration camps who were fat because of depression or PCOS.

[OzRoo 1,492]

The genetic theory does not apply to me.

I was Slim all my life till 2014. You can check my photos in my Gallery.

I also suffer from depression on and off, and never gained weight because of it.

My Graves Disease (autoimmune thyroid disorder) did 180 degree turn 2 years ago, I piled on weight 2014-early 2016, yet my Endo says that Graves contributed about 25% to my weight-gain, rest was my unhealthy eating during those 2 years.

I gained 90Ib in 2 years due to eating loads of chocolate and fatty foods, and stopped even going for walks, let alone exercise.

I have lost 70Ib so far, and nearing goal weight, albeit slower 8 months post op.

If genetics were true, and even Graves Disease where you have high metabolism and can eat almost anything without putting on weight, I would have never gained this 90Ib! I wish ......

[SoDoneGah! 2]

@@Barepigies3 please check your message box. :-)

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[PorkChopExpress 820]

@@Barepigies3 I had the kind of depression that required 8 months of therapy and Paxil to correct a chemical imbalance. The therapy gave me the tools I needed to manage it and the Paxil helped reset my brain chemistry. I still have to be aware of my emotions, to this day. But for years, it was untreated and it contributed to my weight gain. But it was because I had come to use food as a coping mechanism that I gained weight, and I could have opted to make exercise my outlet instead. I just didn't.

The fact of the matter is, it won't do any of us any good whatsoever to sit around absolving ourselves of responsibility and saying, "No it's my genetics, it's my depression, it's because I didn't get enough hugs as a child..." No...it's because we ate too much and moved too little, and we developed unhealthy relationships with food. That's it.

I wasn't trying to attack you, I'm just pointing out the fallacy in your thinking. Nobody is helped by passing responsibility off onto someone or something else, we have to OWN this in order to fix it. I don't need anyone to feel sorry for me for where I got to and I don't feel sorry for myself. In fact I feel like I've finally taken control of the situation, and that's empowering.

Edited November 4, 2016 by PorkChopExpress

[rolosmom7 740]

I'll bite and say that after I found out my Mom had terminal cancer, I went into a tail spin of depression and anxiety. Yes, depression meds can cause weight gain - but 5 pounds of weight gain. My depression/anxiety (which I'm still medi cated and in therapy for) may have helped my weight gain but 95% of it was me eating cheap convenient meals. It wasn't so much fast food as frozen carb loaded dinners and pizza/chinese delivery.

I will probably have to take meds my whole life. And maybe they'll cause me to have a lower metabolism. But that just means I have to work harder and eat smarter. We made excuses to the point of morbid obesity. So, I'm done with excuses - even if there is a slight (note slight) bit of reality to antidepressants causing weight gain.

[Iwannabethin! 4]

Hi all - I was a skinny kid, teen and that continued right through my 20s. After I had bubs at 32, I put on a bit of weight and also stopped moving as much and ate more....

When my marriage broke down, I ate and ate and ate my way to double my weight - did that in about 4 years. I've been very obese now for about 11 years.

I, too, have very bad depression. I had it when I was a teen - had it when skinny and when fat. It's gotten worse and worse though and that's because of the fatness.

I believe It's what I'm putting in my mouth that made me fat and the fact that it hurts so much to move doesn't help either, so I'm very sedentary.

However, I also noticed my weight creep on more after starting anti-depressants. I became more tired (and slept more whereas before I was more anxious and jittery) and as time has gone on, I'm so, so, so weary.

Everyone is different and lots of people have conditions where they eat very little and the weight balloons and vice versa.

It truly sucks doesn't it?