my wife has decided that she and her addicted son are to much keeping me down. she sees my wloss as anew beginning for me without her. mmm we were both praying and this is what she came up with. after 21 yrs. I find it a little harder to see it that way. sooo, after much trying to wrap this around my head I am wondering if I did t right thing. I prayed to god to get a woman who was Christian and good. I did. but now its over. how do I move on? 65 yrs old

Edited May 3, 201610 yr by hoot temple

Aw, so sorry you are going through this after 21 years olf marriage. Perhaps your wife feels she should make changes too, but is not willing to do so. You did something about your issues. Maybe you deserve better?

One excuse is as good as another when you don't want to do something. The fact that you two had been praying about this, tells me that she checked out a while ago. Don't blame your efforts to get healthy for what she has done.

How you get over it is to get involved in something else so as to occupy your mind and increase your circle of friends. Volunteer somewhere. They will appreciate your help and you will benefit in the process.

When my mother passed away at the age of 67, the widows in the church were pouncing on my dad before her grave was cold. There are other people out there who are looking for companionship, or you may find that it is pleasantly refreshing to be by yourself. This will give you time to re-examine what you need in a mate.

Also, with your weight loss, you will get to re-invent yourself. As you lose weight, you will gain confidence and a new perspective on what your priorities need to be.

By making your decision for you (that's essentially what she is doing by separating from you "for your sake" instead of letting you choose or working through it together) she is showing that she doesn't have a whole lot of respect for you. I'm so sorry this is happening to you after building a life for 21 years, but perhaps God is closing doors that were not working for you, leaving room for new doors to open into a whole new life. I wish you the best! Whatever life brings you from here will almost certainly be better than this.

so sorry to hear about your marriage . I know that any change in the relationship can be difficult. weight loss by one spouse or the other can often lead to fear and dissolution of the marriage. I was very blessed to have a husband who was 100% supportive. sadly I lost him in October so I am now alone after 39 years . You can concentrate on your health and get involved in a new path of independence. living alone definitely takes adjustment. I have learned that being alone is not the hardest thing in life learning to live for yourself is difficult because if you were in a long term marriage or relationship you have concentrated on others more. I am 69 and I want to make the rest of my life as healthy and happy as I can.