I was sleeved March 31,2015 and am down 94 lbs. Everything went perfectly from the beginning. But now that I'm a size small I am struggling with my body image. I feel confused about my size and this new body. I knew how to live/feel in my fat body.

It's a very bizarre feeling. I actually cried in a Target dressing room because all the size smalls were fitting me but I can't wrap my head around being a small.

Thoughts?

I'm still pre op, but I've given this a lot of thought during my pre op journey. It actually frightens me a little and I can't even picture in my head me being a smaller size. It's scary, and I feel like a toddler who has to give up their security blankie. That's how I've come to view my size, as a security blanket, or a cushion against society. Being as big as I am I know that the people who like me and love me do so because of who I am, and not what I look like. But what about when I don't have this to hide behind anymore?

I wish I had some answers for you, or could relate, but all I can say is that I hope it gets better for you.

Edited February 12, 201610 yr by Megall9

This would be a good time to talk to a therapist before your brain takes you in a direction you're not prepared for. Body image is such a tricky topic for us ladies and how we define/view ourselves is very much tied to our appearance (unfortunately) in varying ways depending on our cultural, spiritual and educational background...probably even class (again, unfortunate but true). Don't get too out of sorts before finding someone to talk to that has some background in this area. Maybe the person that did your pre op psych eval?

I was sleeved March 31,2015 and am down 94 lbs. Everything went perfectly from the beginning. But now that I'm a size small I am struggling with my body image. I feel confused about my size and this new body. I knew how to live/feel in my fat body.

It's a very bizarre feeling. I actually cried in a Target dressing room because all the size smalls were fitting me but I can't wrap my head around being a small.

It is something that takes some getting used too. Specifically because my body is still changing and I have more weight to lose. Shopping is not something I have ever enjoyed, in fact I would never try anything on in the store. I knew my size and would take it home to try. With the smaller me, I can't leave the store without trying it because I waste too much time going back to get a smaller size, because the size I thought I wore is wrong. I imagine though this is something I may have to deal with until I am well into maintenance so, I am working to get use to this knew me.

I'm still post op, but I've given this a lot of thought during my pre op journey. It actually frightens me a little and I can't even picture in my head me being a smaller size. It's scary, and I feel like a toddler who has to give up their security blankie. That's how I've come to view my size, as a security blanket, or a cushion against society. Being as big as I am I know that the people who like me and love me do so because of who I am, and not what I look like. But what about when I don't have this to hide behind anymore?

I wish I had some answers for you, or could relate, but all I can say is that I hope it gets better for you.

Loss of my security blanket so to speak is a big issue for me. My weight was less about people liking me for who I am and more about a physical shield from what I use to think were predatory glances, remarks, advances etc. Lots of therapy working through my personal traumas helped to heal my mind, and my heart. But what was left was the weight. Now that it is starting to come off, people notice. Before I would freak out if the neighbors friends linger outside to check me out, or I was hit on in a grocery store of restaurant, etc. I am however, learning to accept compliments from men and women without feeling as though I am in some type of danger. It is a huge step for me.