Hi there,

So a few months back I started online dating and I haven't really connected with anyone yet. I know that these things take time and that I just need to be patient but I'm pretty sure that women just aren't interested with my profile. However, I've been toying with the idea of exploring the bar scene or just going out on Friday and Saturday nights more often to try to meet people.

Many have said that the likelihood of meeting someone truly substantive with this would be less than online dating, but frankly I'd like to explore it now that I've lost close to 150 lbs (almost... there!) and I'd like to try talking with people. Maybe to get further contacts? Maybe just to get experience?

Does anyone have any stories with this method after losing a significant amount of weight? I'd love to read good stories but I'll take bad ones too (for the examples of what not to do). I'm not looking for too much advice on this one but I'd just like to see peoples' experiences.

I go to the bars all the time. I go for the same reason CG jane does. I like to dance. A bunch of my friends go and we meet there. I live in a small town so there are 3 places that have live music. We decide which band we like and take it from there. Sometimes we go to all 3 .

If you want to meet women, CGJane is right. Take dance lessons. There are so many dances you can learn. Usually, they make you switch partners while you're learning. A lot of the places where the lessons are held, also hold dances. It's a great way to meet people. Women love men who know how to dance!

Another pet peeve are the guys that talk about "no drama ". It has been my experience that people who say that are the ones that attract drama and not much worse than a high maintenance / high drama man. I like positive, not negative profiles. I don't want to be with someone full of bitterness and self.pity. come to think of it, glad they write all that stuff so I know who to skip over.

Yes, yes, yes! I didn't have "drama" in my life, so I had no need to write about it. I agree though -- it's a negative red flag that the person has a very messy life. My now-husband had a crazy family, was widowed, raising a stepson, and never once mentioned "drama," but he was honest about being a widower. That's it. The rest of the profile was about him as a person and interests.

@@RedJoy86, how is it going? Have you gotten out and about at the bars? Tweaked your profile? Meeting anyone fun?

I am curious too since this thread was recently resurected!

@@RedJoy86, how is it going? Have you gotten out and about at the bars? Tweaked your profile? Meeting anyone fun?

I just wanted to give some online dating advice. I met my husband of 7 years from a dating website. I had tried them on and off for YEARS. Went on a lot of first dates. A LOT. It was sometimes fun, sometimes exhausting, sometimes boring. You tend to feel like your on a job interview each time. However after many first dates you get more comfortable. I stopped worrying so much if they liked me and started asking myself if I liked "them".

I have not yet had my surgery but met my husband when I was chunky. Not at my heaviest, that happened during my marriage. My suggestion is post a honest current picture of yourself. Flattering of course but try to think of what you want to attract. If you want a sports guy/girl then one of you at a sporting event or in a jersey might be good. But if you have one with a drink in your hand you might give off the vibe of a "partyer" or a "good time girl" or "guy". Unless that's what you want to project. And like others said, "nice guy" "no drama" etc... Are all phrases to avoid. Just describe activities of what you actually like to do (not what others want to hear) and what you are looking for in a person. Try to injection a little humor into it. If someone reading your honest profile sends you a message you're more likely to find a genuine person. Also don't wait for someone to contact you. You contact those who you find interesting. Maybe that person saw your profile and was too shy or nervous to contact you.

And also never meet for dinner or a meal your first date. Either coffee/drink etc... Keeps it light and short if you find you don't like this person. A meal commits to 2 hours which can be way too much with the wrong person. But coffee/tea/drink can lead to dinner or a walk together if you like each other. Also I would guess would take the pressure off of wls eating issues at first.

To all those on the fence about dating websites give it a shot. It doesn't hurt to try and it opens your world to a lot of people you wouldn't normally get to meet in our everyday lives. I know 6 couples that have met and married from online. They are all happily married for years now. So it does work. Just have to give it a shot. Good luck to all of you!

I met my husband online 10 years ago and he is awesome! Of course My previous relationships were bad boy types, choosing everything else but me and our children. This man I met now together for 10 years is my best friend. I trust him fully and I couldn't imagine my life without him. I will say it took me a while getting use to the opposite type of guy but it was the best decision I have ever made and we have children together as well. Good luck & be careful ..

An interesting set of circumstances to share...i no longer seek to post most flattering pix, but most current and "real looking". Also, I almost never have a second date if it is just a coffee meeting . I don't know why... what I have found more successful is to meet for a beverage, late afternoon. If we hit it off, we have a bite to eat and it becomes that 2 hour date. I know many are into the 20 minute coffee dates, but I have gotten good at screening so don't have those...OMG..meetings anymore..Haha.

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Great advice but it belongs in a different thread. This thread is about meeting people in bars.

The OP wanted to meet some people out in the bars now that he's lost a lot of weight.

There are some other threads about online dating.

@@RedJoy86, how is it going? Have you gotten out and about at the bars? Tweaked your profile? Meeting anyone fun?

I am curious too since this thread was recently resurected!

@@RedJoy86, how is it going? Have you gotten out and about at the bars? Tweaked your profile? Meeting anyone fun?

Sorry for the delay! I haven't been on in a while.

To be honest, I haven't actually gone out much and I've mostly stuck to online dating. The big speedbump that I run into is that I can't drink anything except for Water when I'm out at bars. While I don't really have any craving to drink in excess, being unable to drink socially is a bit of a hindrance when trying to meet people. That being said, I'm still being very successful with the weight loss, even if I haven't been so successful at meeting someone special.

Actually, I met a guy who doesn't drink and told me that was a big advantage in meeting women in bars!

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