Hi everyone,

My wife will be getting a sleeve this year. For those of you that have gone through this or are going through it. What do you wish your significant other knew or did to support you? What did they do or what did you wish they did to make this easier for you. I want to be there for her every step of the way but she seems to have a hard time talking about feelings and what she needs. I'm a man not a mind reader. So i'm hoping you can help me to understand what she may need and what she will be going through. I know this can be different for everyone, but any insight will help. I hope.

Thanks!

@@Backer16

You rock! And because of your support your wife will definitely be more successful!

I too have an incredible supportive husband who has been there every step of the way.

There are some things that were great and some things where he meant well but made me cringe.

Helped:

Keeping all bad stuff away from me during the pre op diet which is very very hard. In fact, he would not eat anywhere near me for those 10 days

Encouraged me before during and after the surgery, truly being excited for me.

Celebrated my milestones by telling me how great I looked and even buying gifts of clothing or encouraging me to buy that cute workout gear because I had earned it.

Went clothes and shoes shopping with me and seeing how excited I was because I could pretty much fit into regular clothes and shoes in regular stores. Unfortunately he doesn't say no though, and in fact would encourage me to buy things that wouldn't fit 2 months later. LOL!

What didn't work:

My husband at first was afraid to eat in front of me. Didn't bother me but he felt guilty mostly because he still eats crap. It left me feeling like I was always eating alone and very different.

When he finally did get comfortable he started bring serious crap into the house. chips, Cookies, crackers and because he feels guilty, he sometimes brings me something I shouldn't have. In the first 6 months it was easy for me to say no, now there are days when I don't say no and I should. For example, he had McDonald's About 2 weeks ago and he brought me an apple pie! I told him never ever do this again. But I ate it! These things, although he means well is not helpful.

In the beginning when we would go out to eat. I would order something eat 3 or 4 bites and the server would always think I didn't like it. My husband would then tell them I had surgery and couldn't eat anymore. It took him along time to realize that this really bothered me and was completely unnecessary. Now, we simply ask for a to go box right away. Many times we share a meal.

I did tell him this bothered me but he was afraid it was rude to not eat everything. He was raised to clean his plate. Now, he totally gets that the portion control in this country is horrible. Apparently in the beginning he was more concerned about insulting them than realizing sharing my personal business bothered me. In his defense, if someone asks I will always be honest so he thought it didn't bother me.

We are 15 months post op and have learned a lot of lessons. I say we because my decision to have weight loss surgery definitely impacted both of us. I cook different, shop different and that impacts what we eat and even when we eat because I do all the cooking.

I also do not eat fast food ever so if we go out to eat or get to go food, I look for dense Protein and veggies. You can't get that at McDonald's. This impacts his decisions as well and probably does make him a little healthier in the process.

He is now watching his weight, thank goodness so he has stopped bringing crap into the house which is definitely helping me.

I wish you both the very best of luck! She is very lucky to have someone so supportive. I don't know what I would have done without my hubby through this process,