I've decided to tell people that I had bariatric surgery. I concluded they will figure it out sooner or later. I'm baffled as to why people always seem to tell me about friend or relative who had surgery and gained all their weight back. Has any one else encountered this and what do you say?

No, have not experienced it because I don't discuss with anyone but my husband and my mother.

But yes, what you're experiencing is common. People are sometimes really, really stupid. Tell someone you're pregnant, you'll hear horrific labor stories, tell someone you're getting married, hear about how so-and-so and her new husband were out thousands of dollars when the event planner ran off with all their wedding money and the bride's uncle got so drunk at the reception that he threw up on the dance floor and started a fight...

it's called human nature.

I have no idea why people think it's a good idea to tell horror stories about something that you just announced you're doing. But for some reason, more often than not, this bullpucky is what spews out when sharing good news.

So I'd honestly just shut them down - if they start telling you a horrible thing happened, or how their cousin's hairdresser's best friend had the same thing done and they now weigh 1,300 pounds and have to live in the bathtub... I'd give them a dead cold stare and say "Wow, that is a horrible thing to say. I have no idea why you would tell me that, other than to make me feel bad and question my choices. I guess we don't have anything to talk about." And then walk away.

And also - if this is a friend, call them for being rude and unsupportive and drop them if they don't apologize for being stupid. You don't need negative Nellies in your life.

Edited October 11, 201510 yr by FrankiesGirl

Yep, constantly. But to be fair, I think I have told similar stories. It was one of the reasons I didn't want to do the surgery for years. First, I want to say congrats on taking the step of deciding to pursue WLS and secondly, bravo for telling people! I am a BIG proponent of this. I know some people may not respond kindly, but boy those that do really make this easier. I have mostly received support and encouragement and from those that I haven't, I truly just ignore their response. The fact is, they just don't know better. This is YOUR decision and YOUR life. (And I suppose that is exactly what you could tell them if you wanted to.)

NOW, how do you not become one of those stories that others tell in years to come? Be sure you have all the pieces in place and use every single too - Therapy, Nutritionist, Exercise, etc. I have been seeing my therapist since February and plan to continue to see her (as she has discussed with me) for at least 2 years post-op. The fact is, I think I can lose the weight fairly easily - I always have before. it is the keeping it off that worries me and it is only through learning new habits and developing a new lifestyle WHILE I am losing the weight that I hope to be able to maintain the loss. Now, I know I am only 4 months post-op, so perhaps this is all easier for me to say now but it is truly my goal and truly what I believe at this point. My therapist and my NUT are almost more important to me than the actual tool of the pouch. Without these 2 amazing people (and the incredible folks that have come before me and keep at posting on this board giving us sound advice), I would be at a complete loss.

SO - not really sure that answers your question but now that I think about it - that is how I answer people when they tell me these stories. I tell them that I am not perfect but that I have put a plan together with my team and will work ever so hard to not be one of the people they tell bad stories about to others, but hopefully will be that one person they know that was successful that they can tell others about in the future.

At my husband's insistence we told no one we had surgery, except my daughter, a niece, and a nurse friend. Life is less complicated and today, 2 years later, I am glad he kept me quiet.

Edited October 11, 201510 yr by Loopylulu