Hi everybody

Im due to be banded on july 31st 2007 :clap2:and have been battling with my weight for about 22 years i was slim at one point but never realised it as i was so crap at liking myself and thought if i were thiner people would like me more the fact that i had a low self opinion due to my background never entred my head and that i had ENORMOUSE BOOBS :omg:and although i only had a twenty seven inch waist when i married DH i was told the only way to get rid of the boobies was to DIET! WRONG COS that led to years of yo yo diating and am now 87lbs heavier than when i wed DH. Boobs went with surgery:whoo:.

So you may be asking why do i want to know what it feels like to be slim well its because its been such a long time i have forgotten. Cos even if i lose 30lbs i will still be thiner than i am now BUT i wanna go the whole way and its scaring the poop out of me as i have failed so many times before.:hungry:

So all you lovely fellow bandsters out their who have pased that place that we get down to on convential diets and then start putting it back on again (my door slams shut at 12st 2lbs and then i get scared and it all piles on again) please can you tell me how you delt with it and how wonderful, frightened etc you felt and how it feels now.:help:

thanks guys

x

19 days till banding

I don't know about anyone else, but I can still remember being skinny. I was 108lbs soaking wet as a teen and remember my step-mother saying over and over"Your too skinny, you need to gain some weight" A few years ago, I told her if I ever heard those words coming out of her mouth again....." Anyhow, I didn't finish the sentance but I got my point across. That was the point when I started eating more and more. Which didn't hurt me at first then as I started having major medical problems as I got older, I really piled the weight on and could not stop. This all seems like a really fast roller coaster ride and I still do not feel like I am as big as I am. That is why I am so shocked and embarrassed when I see pictures of myself. That's the time it really hits me how much weight I have put on since then. I enjoyed being skinny. Thought it was cool to be able to double cross my legs, and to see my ribs sticking out when I would breathe in. Still can't believe I cant get a regular pair of boots zipped up. Hehe...those were the days.....

I'm really enjoying it! Its a weird mix of feeling the same as I did before, afterall I still ahve 2 arms and 2 legs, and its not as mystical and amazing as you imagine, but that feeling of going into a change room and slipping on something, and it FITS is pretty incredible.

I can remember being this weight, I wasnt very fat for very long but I *feel* like I've been fat my whole life. I've never been very thin or really slender.

But 169lb for a 5ft 10 woman is a perfectly nice looking and healthy weight when she's 40 like I am now, but at 20, it wasnt a perfectly n ice looking healthy weight because I was surrounded by an entirely different peer group.

Now I stand out as being in pretty incredible shape for a 40 year old whose had 3 babies (have excercised a LOT and become very fit) then I was an enormous cow compared to my pretty, cute, petite peers. I also have the self confidence and respect for my body that comes with getting older, and no longer have the self doubt and insecurities that mark adolescence and early adulthood.

So although I've been a healthy weight for the greater part of my life, this is the first time I've felt in really great shape, its certainly the fittest I've ever been and I'm at least a clothing size SMALLER at this weight than I was before due to the better body composition I now have.