Hi everyone! This is a support thread for bandsters who are approaching or maintaining their goal weight, whatever that may be. This thread will likely include monthly challenges for exercise and/or diet goals, which members can choose to join or not join at their leisure.

I read a book once called Passing For Thin, which was written by a woman who lost 150+ pounds through OA, yet never felt thin on the inside. That is one of the things thread is intended to discuss, as well as the other unique challenges and successes of a bandster who is now Passing For Thin. These issues could be related to food in the maintenance phase, upcoming exercise goals, self-esteem issues, relating to the opposite sex -- anything you confront in your new body.

Maybe in the course of discussing our issues, we will become thin on the inside as well as the outside.

Let the discussion begin!

I have a question, what are SPANX and where do you get them? I saw some nylon looking things at target today, they said they were from the creator of SPANX, something called ACCESS or ACCENT or something like that, could it be the same thing? They looked like tights that stopped right above the knee and went right under the chest.

That's the body suit.

Julie mentioned Spanx here on this thread so I got two of them. They are kinda weird looking and they look quite difficult to put on. I got the body suit and the ... I don't know what it's called. It goes from your thighs to you mid stomach. After lots of looking, I found the cheapest place was ebay, 2nd cheapest was Amazon.com, and most expensive is retail.

At work recently a woman I talk to on the phone a lot in another department told me she'd had gastric bypass. I've never met her, only phone contact. She'd heard I got the band and asked if I see myself thinner in the mirror. We started talking about it. Neither of us sees any startling difference in our facial images. Her surgeon told her that's very common with weight loss surgery patients.

What I'm noticing now that I'm at goal is I have this uneasy feeling of "what now." All my adult life I've thought things would be different if only I was thin. Well, now I'm thin (by popular standards) and I'm not quite sure what I should be doing, what should be different.

Anyone feel the same?

Wow, what a difference a day can make. I feel so much better. Thanks for all of your comments about the food. It definitely helped. Boo, I know what you mean about having great runs after eating ice cream. I could have run forever last night. I ran 6 miles at full speed and I didn't even need a supplement from all the carbs the day before. Anyway, I'm over it. I broke the cycle yesterday. If my patterns hold, that means I'm in for a couple of easy dieting weeks -- woohoo!

deckedout, "Assets" is the off brand of Spanx at Target. I tried them and they don't hold up well in the wash. I actually prefer a brand called "Barely There" that I find at the Hanes/L'eggs outlet malls, if you have one in your area. They're not at hard to put on as Spanx, but are the same idea -- i.e. smoothing things out under clothes/holding you in place to ease contraction of your skin. As for the Body Bugg, yes, I do love it and find it very motivational, but doing the math your way works too. I used sparkpeople too, until I got the Bugg. The Bugg is really just a toy. Or, I guess, at its best, another "tool" in our weight loss box. I do find it motivational on two fronts though. First, it takes a lot of effort to log all your food and wear the bugg, so you want to make the most of it by doing things right. Then, and maybe even more importantly, since it's actually affixed to your body, I find that it is a constant reminder of my goal, which provides another barrier to me wanting to eat junk. It's kind of a diet force field!

OK, so I've had a crush on this guy at my new job and he totally asked me out yesterday! What in the world do I do with that?!? Sometimes it's scary to get what you want. Good scary though. I'll let you know how it goes....

mariecarmen said :"I have this uneasy feeling of "what now."" -- yes, exactly. That's exactly what I'm afraid of. I've never, ever, in my whole life, even from age 4, not been trying to lose weight. One day soon, I'm going to wake up in the morning, get on the scale, and not be hoping for the number to go down. What now. (Luckily, I have 30 lbs to go before I have to figure that out!)

Is your doc cooperating with you on this? I mean, is he supportive?

I saw the doc today and she was very accommodating about the med adjustment. We're going with a tiny dose of zoloft (not enough to have heartburn issues, I hope) and a normal dose of wellbutrin. That's how I'd been "self" medicating over the last week and the balance is working out nicely. Thanks for asking!

WHOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOO JUlie!!!!!! (the date)

Vanessav....I still feel lost in the regular clothes department....I don't really know what size to head for. I know I wear a size 14 now but it's still weird to try to find the right size. I don't even know what's cute anymore. I've been looking at "fat cruise-wear" for so long...my fashion sense outside of spandex and knit clothing is lost.

Mariecarmen....I know what you mean by "what now?" I'm not actually at my goal weight but I now weigh what I did at 21 (I'm 37) and don't feel as thin as I did then. Unfortunately, things haven't sprung back like they looked at 21 either.

Jachut...I want the winter fruit recipe....sounds delicious!

Efficka...I too eat out of loneliness....and boredom. OK, now that I am thinner...where are all the cute boys?

BTW....how does one address the band issue w/a guy? At what point do you tell them? I have a friend who noticed my weight chart that I post in my office and asked me about it. He knows I have lost a lot of weight and even seen my tummy but seems to have no clue that I have had surgery. To share or not to share? :nervous It's different than telling a co-worker or family.

thanks Julie and Wasabubblebutt for the info on the SPANX, now I have a good reason to go to the outlet mall!

Lisa, shopping is really hard for me. I have always, always been overweight. Of course, what I called overweight at 18 I would love to be now, but I never learned that all important fashion sense that some people, like my daughter, seem to be born with.

I take my daughter shopping with me a lot. I buy her lunch and she helps me find clothes that look good on me. I get a lot of, "no way, Mom, you aren't wearing that!" and I usually get compliments when I wear what she picks for me. She's 22, so I do tend to wear clothes that may be a little young for me, but I look a bit younger than I am so hopefully, I pull it off without looking ridiculous.

I didn't do very well with my exercise today. I had a headache this morning, so didn't finish my whole workout, and I was going to go hiking, but it rained all day.

I really should head back to the gym tonight, but I really have those lazy rainy day blues. I did make banana bread for my family, however, I also ate some.

I really don't seem to have the same will power that I had when I first had surgery. I don't know if I am just complient with the fact that I look okay, and my blood pressure is now normall or what. I want to be back to where I said, "No, I'm not eating anything. I am not hungry at all, so why eat."

Rant, rant, rant. You all seem so wise.

Julie, I really appreciate all you know. For one so young, you a very together and knowledgeable. Plus strong. I can't run at all! LOL. I tried once and my old lady knees gave out. I even have a special brace I have to wear just to go hiking:-)

BTW....how does one address the band issue w/a guy? At what point do you tell them? ....It's different than telling a co-worker or family.

I've been thinking about this a lot lately, as I've been dating a lot (at least a lot in comparison to pre-band). "Fortunately," I haven't liked any of the men enough for things to get serious (I'm more physically cautious than some -- maybe most -- women my age). Anyway, with the work guy, Jason, I feel it's something that I could at least see the possibility of having to confront those issues (I'm just so darned attracted to the guy). So, I talked about it with my therapist today. I decided, if and when the situation comes up, I would tell Jason for a couple of reasons. First, I'm not embarassed about my band and I'm quite confident about my new body (at least on a good day), so I'm not afraid of him being turned off by the band. What I AM afraid of, is him being turned off by my lack of experience in the bedroom. I feel like it requires some explanation and the band helps tell that story. Second, and perhaps most importantly, there's no way I could keep it a secret physically. Even if the scars weren't an issue (who really cares about them anyway -- I find them interesting), my port is so prominent that it's visible to the eye even through some clothes, and people feel it when hugging me. I don't think I could disguise it for long in a physical relationship, so I'd have to come clean.

Anyway, who knows if and when I'll have to confront the issue and whether it'll be with Jason or someone else, but I think that's how I'll deal with it. I have to really trust someone to let them see my stomach anyway (ok, but for complete strangers on the PS thread, ha!), so I think whomever got to see it would know me well enough to not freak on me, if it got to that stage.

Jane, thank you for the compliment and thank you for thinking I'm young! I love that. I think you are wise and strong and a source of great inspiration as well. Go Jane!

I wasn't supposed to run today (sometimes it's hard not to run!), so I walked home (3 miles) from work. I'm running in the park tomorrow with a friend before work, then working out with my trainer tomorrow night, so I'll be a calorie-burning-machine tomorrow....

I had another good food day today. Very in control. Pshew.

Julie, you should join us on the singles thread. We talk a lot about what you're talking about.

I personally don't have anyone asking me out, but there are some gals closer to your age that are having fun dating, and dealing with band issues.

You have done so great! I can't believe how much weight you've lost.

Congratulations!

Jane, you're just like me. I have a wedding to go to this weekend and I am mad that my daughter can't go shopping with me tomorrow. She had RNY and I was just over at her house trying on all her rejected clothes. Unfortunately, all the clothes that are too big for her, are still too small for me.

I don't like shopping without her either.

I have actually been enjoying the rain. I am a weirdo. I get tired of the rain in the winter, but I don't like it when it doesn't rain all summer either.

Julie, you should join us on the singles thread. We talk a lot about what you're talking about.

Will do. Thanks!

Denise822...I Love to run in the rain! It gets so hot here in Texas anything is a refreshing break. I see you had your band done in Coos Bay...I was just up in Reedsport/Winchester Bay visiting family in May. I could run there forever. The weather and scenery is beautiful! I ran along the Bay then up to the lighthouse one day....about 5 miles. It was absolutely delightful!

How many of you at/near goal are finding you no longer have as much in common with your "old" friends? I'm noticing that I'm drifting away from them - they love to go to beer fests and brew pubs and the like, which is all fun when you're not trying to lose weight. I'd rather go biking or hiking or even just to the gym. Not to say I won't hang out with them or anything, but there's only so much fun in going out on a regular basis to places that you can't really enjoy things.

Did many of you "change friends" after losing weight? I'm trying to figure out if this is just a phase (i.e. maybe I'm a little depressed because I'm being so strict on my eating and things will mellow out once I "lighten up"?) I'm on a mission to get this last bit of weight off so I can do a lower body lift in late Nov/early Dec - I have some early spring activities that I have to be recovered for so I can't push the LBL out, and want to get as much of the weight off naturally before going under the knife (vs. lipo).

I can't say I'm not still friends with anyone, we still do the same things and go the same kinds of places. But I have made lots of new friends, they are all fat too. Maybe it's a balance, but I don't think so. The balance is in my head, it's one of the issues I have learned. I can still go to a bar with friends but it doesn't mean I need to drink too much or snack all night long. The change is with me, not my friends.

How many of you at/near goal are finding you no longer have as much in common with your "old" friends? I'm noticing that I'm drifting away from them....

Banannie, I've read that a lot of people go through this, so you're not alone. I've also read that many times, the friendships reconnect once some time has passed and that, out of the good friendships, it can make them stronger in the long run.

For me, my experience is a little different. I didn't have friends that I ate with. For me, binge eating was a private thing. Like, I would go out to dinner with friends, then go home and eat a whole second dinner to get that truly "full" feeling. Now that I don't feel the need to do that, I'll go out with friends, then go out wherever they're going afterwards, rather than wanting to peel off from the group.

I do have one friend who struggles with her weight (just a little -- like 20 lbs or so) and talking about weight loss and nutrition is a big component of our friendship. For her, she's verbalized that she's jealous of my success and that it's hard for her that I weigh less than she does now. She understands, intellectually, that at 5'10, she SHOULD weigh more than I do at 5'2, but it's still hard for her and I get that. Her honesty about the situation helps us to keep our friendship strong. And she's very, very happy for me and is my biggest supporter. Her jealousy (if that's even the right word for it) is just a small piece of the puzzle.

Well, I'm headed home to Alabama for a wedding this weekend. I'm going to try really hard to stay on my diet. I feel like I could drop a couple of lbs any day now, if I can just stay on track. Traveling is hard though, as I'm sure you all know. My marathon training schedule has me running 12 miles on Sunday, so that should help.

Take care, Julie