Hi folks - I guess I'm looking for some cheerleaders today . I feel pretty depressed and completely unmotivated. I had my long awaited (11 months 2 weeks!) fill last week, and it was not a pleasant event - I was so grateful to eventually find an english speaking lap band surgeon to monitor my progress/do fills etc and was so looking forward to getting my weightloss kick-started again by a fill.... The Doc was a bit of a cold fish, - he is belgian, and also does other wls - duodenal switch, gastric bypass etc.... he asked me why I got a lap band when it only works for about 50% of people in his experience... I was a bit taken aback and unhappy to find myself defending my band while lying on my back with a needle in my side! He scoffed at my request for an annual endoscopy, saying it was unnecessary :eek - he also questioned my belief that I have a 9cc Inamed band - he says there's no such thing - only a 9.75cc or a 10cc Inamed band - I didn't have any card or confirmation from my french surgeon that it is definitely an Inamed band but I remember him giving me documentation from Inamed and showing me an actual band at the time of my consultation but suddenly I was filled with doubt and felt so stupid not knowing exactly. Then I told him my band was filled with 4cc during surgery - he thought this was impossible - I wouldn't have been able to swallow water when I woke up! He removed the liquid from the band and there was only 2cc - I was shocked! He then put in 3cc in total so I bascially don't know where I am!

I haven't really much more restriction - I have never thrown up or had a "pb" - and seem to be able to eat a pretty big portion of whatever I like... I make oatmeal in the mornings using one american 1/2 cup measure of oats and three 1/2 cups of milk/water for example... I guess I just feel exhausted from dieting and restricting myself... I was hoping to get a few more pounds off by Christmas and am back to the high protein, low fat DIET - I really thought life with my band would mean that I basically ate what I want, sticking to as healthy a diet a possible, and my band would kick in and stop me overeating. That's really not the case for me - I feel like I have to constantly say "no" to myself, no icecream, no cookies, no popcorn, no chocolate or else I lapse into a sugar/carb binge! I feel so obsessed with food - today I was a "good girl" or today I was "bad". I know this is an emotional issue I need to "get over".... I genuinely feel, here at 245lbs, (ok, actually 247 from this morning!) that I am NEVER going to lose another pound and be stuck here in limbo!!! In europe, most "normal" clothes stores go up to a 20/22 (American 18/20) and the "large" size clothes shops go up to 26/28 (american 24/26) - I am somewhere in between these sizes - just a little too big for the normal sizes and totally sick of the large size clothes, which are unflattering as we all know! So I have nothing to wear which is depressing me even more!

Ok - I'm sorry for going on so long with this - I guess a year into banded life, things get a little stale and it's hard to stay motivated....I wonder how all you guys banded a year or more manage to stay focused? Shellyj? Jennye? Alexandra, Babs? Sniffle...miss u guys Any tips? Anyone????

(ok, whining over....)

Our first recruit! Look out, world.

Zoe - count me in!

Lisa - We have to have our own website! CrazyBitchMothers.com - my mother went to a psychiatrist for 4 YEARS! He was a well respected doctor in Dublin - my mother's favourite comment to us was: "my psychiatrist says this is all YOUR fault" - the hilarious (but tragic, but funny, but sad....) part was, eventually he told her not to come back - he couldn't help her and then RETIRED from medical practice AND LEFT THE COUNTRY!!! How we laughed...yet cried, yet......

Michelle - you are so right, of course. Unlike some people here, I NEVER lost much weight over the years - and would never ever have moved over 80lbs...I never thought of it like that. I am really confused about the 9cc band and am trying to find out which one I have - I know my friend Sarah, who was banded by the same guy, and has the same band etc - also is supposed to have the Inamed 9cc, filled to 4cc during surgery - and currently is at 7cc after two fills! So I don't know what to think! I'm busily trying to draft a letter in french to my surgeon so hopefully I'll have some answers soon - thanks Michelle - I have printed out your comments and will learn by heart!

This sounds much more like you may have the 11cm Vanguard by Inamed. the 9.75cc ONLY holds up to 4ccs. Let us know what you find out.

Zoe count me in for the Fat-O-Gram, Inc. I can advocate completely for someone else with no problems to the point of being a pest and getting answers and apologies. It is when it comes to my own advocating that I lose site. So we should make it a pre-requisite that every employee have a person they can call to advocate for them. LOL!!

Love you guys

Damn how did I miss the Fat O Gram job offer..it was right before my post. Anyway I would like to apply for a possition Please. Anyone who really knows me...knows you do not want to piss me off :angry . (I think thats why my poor brother is still single 37 and living with me , hubby & the kids)

Hi Bright,

Honey, I am so sorry I missed this post with my Cosmic sister in Ireland.! Please dont be depressed. It sounds like you need a good fill that will give you some restriction. It is true that Cookies, popcorn and cake will go right through the band even if you have restriction. And chips have replaced bread for me and I have to be ever so careful about not becoming a tortilla chip addict. SOunds like the Belgian doc was an arse. You need to talk to your banding surgeon to see if you can find someone who can fill you under flouoscopy. Without proper restriction, losing with the band can feel very much like dieting. I had a small unfill two weeks after a fill in August. I felt I was too tight. My doc removed more than what he had put in . So now, I am really struggling to get the last 20-25 pounds off and I am hungrier. I am going back to get more fill sometime this month. i dont want to obsess about food either and I certainly dont want to gain anything I have lost. I also had my girlfriend from Colorado living here in my house for the last two weeks. She eats enough to feed a small elephant and I have been living at the grocery store for the better part of two weeks. I have not made very smart food choices since she has been here and it has affected my weight loss. I even gained 4 pounds and it took me the second week she was here to realize that I didnt have to eat everything she did or keep up with her. I dropped the four pounds with much struggle the second week she was here. Hang in there, get another fill and know that you have done wonderfully over the last year. Your weight loss has been phenomenal and definitely above average my dear!!!

Babs in TX

334/192/170

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