Hey guys!!! So I've been debating on this post for weeks now and I'm finally just going to do it. I've seen a lot of "attackers" on this site and have become extremely sick of reading their comments. I started out at 398 on June 1. On June 24th I had VSG surgery and was 370. Today (July 17) I am down to 353. I have followed the eating plan to a T and have been walking 2-3 miles a day since 3 days post op. No complications at all, one dumping incidident and I hate cottage cheese now but used to love it. Anyways my point of this post is to express my frustration with those who say "you need to follow this diet to a T for the rest of your life. Don't cheat, don't eat more than you should, keep your sugar low or non existent and make sure your carbs and sodium remain small. I didn't put my body through surgery to be on a DIET for the rest of my life. I will obviously continue to eat protein first and then veggies and then fruit for the majority of my week but if I want to eat something a little less healthy when I'm cleared for all foods, I will do as I please. I'm sick of others sitting there telling others who feel the same that they are ruining their chance at success, that they followed the rules and still do and they reached goal blah blah blah. Stop goal shaming others, you were once a fat mess like the rest of us so it doesnt make you any better. I really love coming here to get advice and support but I'm about ready to quit this site and never look back do to some of these snarky high horse commenters.

This is an interesting topoic, which points to a larger problem - we don't know who asked "can I cheat/eat something not on program" akin to one that I hear often with alcohol etc.

I have seen videos of WLS failures who obviously went back to potato chips and high fat food. I think much of the touch love and goal shaming I see is a reminder to lurkers that "no you can't eat crap all the time." Yes we said "occasionally" but some of us think others are going to hear "it's OK, eat crap."

I don't blame the people on these boards who offer cautionary advise, it is a important reminder. One that often can't be echoed enough. But for the most part I have found the people here to be very forthcoming about their struggles, their successes and very encouraging.

We have a nice mix of caring nurturing types and tough love types. Between the two I think the message gets out to those who need to hear it. At least I hear it and appreciate it.

I sometimes get offended reading responses. However if I step back and reflect, it's usually just a defensive reaction. If I am feeling guilty about a poor choice I have made and read a "shaming" comment, sure I get a little worked up. Taking a moment to think about WHY I find it offensive and where I am with my daily goals, most times I can come to respect the "offensive" comment and take away something useful from a vet. We are all on the same journey!