Well, my surgery is on July 6th, and I have been a big ol' pig! My liquid diet starts a week from today and I have seriously been eating out of control. I am justifying with the "Oh, I won't be able to have this after this week!" mentality. Did any of you do this? Is it horribly wrong or just kinda what we do? I'm trying to curb it a little bit, like tonight we had a really healthy dinner.

I don't know, what are your thoughts on this? I really think I'm going to have to go get a banana milkshake from my favorite place one last time this week!

food funerals were what led me here to start with.

So many times I'd have a big blowout so I could start another diet.

Then another...

Then another.

Nope, this time I'm going to do this according to the plan that will get me to the surgery date with the best results possible.

I'm done with sabotaging my health.

I have done 2 things that have been helpful to me:

1. Write a dear John letter to food telling it all the reasons you are giving it up.

2. Writing about about my funeral as a result of eating myself to death.

(Not to say I haven't had food funerals. I'm just trying to keep a detailed record of why this is so important to me. I'm also writing a log about all the ways weight has hurt my life - unbelievably long list that I keep adding to. Never want to forget these feelings. I've lost 100 pounds in the past and forgot and went back to my abusive lover - food!) Now 150 pounds later, I hope and pray I can get my head in the place it needs to be to be successful long term with this. Choosing Hope!