My husband had surgery March 3rd. He is doing fairly well with eating. He is having some trouble with indigestion though. I think he is identifying the cause. My main question is how can I help him get out of this funk. He seems depressed. Doesn't want to go or do much other than watch tv. He mentioned calling his surgeon for something for depression. I called for him but the surgeon said he should contact his family dr. I can't get him to go to his dr. I want to be supportive and not a nag. Any ideas?

My husband stayed home from work yesterday. Today he went to work but came home early. On top of having surgery and feeling down in the dumps, he has a bad back that is acting up right now.

I asked him earlier if he felt like going for a drive or maybe meeting a friend for a bite to eat. To my surprise he picked up the phone and called his best friend! I'm thrilled! We have plans to drive out to his friends ranch to see his new colt and then go to dinner. Of course we will be sharing a plate I'm just so over joyed that he is willing to get out of his recliner and do something! Maybe he is turning the corner where his depression goes! It is a good sign!

That's great news that he is willing to go out. When I read the part about seeing a new colt - I was like "I want to go too". I think seeing a new colt would be awesome for anyone.

Let us know how it went.

But depression is well documented after any surgery. I remember after my mother had a major operation to receive a new aortic valve (she had an aneurysm) she became very mean and verbally abusive to my dad. She was not herself, either. Your body is healing, you can't do the things you used to do and like he said it's like losing your best friend (food).

Give it time, see how it goes, but if it goes on too long, do seek professional help. The idea of seeing the psychologist who did he pre-op evaluation is a good start.

Good luck.

I have clinical depression and bat-crap crazy anxiety. The best thing I can tell you from experience is be supportive, don't make demands, and listen. Don't diagnose and don't suggest things too much. Share in activities even if it's just watching tv. Depression is like a cancer of the soul and even with meds and therapy it is a beast. Maybe he can talk to a therapist? If he doesn't want to that's fine unless you feel he is in eminent danger. But you could talk to a therapist. They can give you an objective point of view. Even though he had the surgery, you too are going through this with him.

Best of luck. Keeping you guys in my thoughts.

PS: my husband eats what I eat and I find that to be so very helpful. And we go to gym together.

Also, sometimes just a long hug will kill the depression. ????

Edited April 11, 201511 yr by tomi71