Celebrating a death tonight
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I have been listening to Dr. Duc Vuong's podcast about successful wls patients. He has one of the highest success rates with wls patients in the country. What he says about the one thing that a patient can do to insure success at weight loss and keeping the weight off is to let the overweight food addicted person you once were die. Just let her die. So tonight I lit the candles all over my house....I brought the last alcohol I will drink in a while. I toasted all the coping mechanisms that kept me safe from harm...the fat that kept me unattractive to the men who would abuse me.....the food that made me feel better on cold lonely nights. The thick layer of distance I put between me and the cruelty of the world. And I said goodbye. It is sad, it is hard, I'm not sure how I am going to cope without that protective false self to keep me safe. But she's dead and I am going to let her die. I hope you will all join me in saying "Thank you fat self for all the years of keeping me safe and invisible from the world. But now I'm old enough, strong enough and experienced enough to take care of myself without you."
Ashes to ashes
Dust to dust
Goodbye.