Ok, I have got into a really bad habit. Especially when I am just on liquid or mushies (after a fill - just had my second). I have started to chew on food when I have cravings and then spit it out. Im worried Im doing myself some damage but I cant stop. Im also not sure if it even does anything - does anyone know if you your body still absorbs the calories?

Am I alone? or have other people done this? How do I stop? Do I even need to stop?

If you would rather not reply to this thread, please pm me, it will be kept private ...

Thank you

Lily x

I do it every time I eat protein. Sometimes after I chewed and chewed, it can go down with a little sauce and sometimes I can tell it wont so I spit it out. I hate eating in public anymore, I always have so much waste on my plate and am always taking unchewable food out of my mouth. When you have a good fill, like I do now, some days and times it goes down easier than others. I always eat to swallow it but many times just chew and spit. Ironic we are using a anorexic food tool.......I think if you chew on a piece of steak to oblivion, we do get most of the nutrients from its juices. We gotta do what we gotta do....Concentrate on getting your nutrients in and don't worry about being "bad"!

I want to get honest with myself. Pre-banding I used to binge eat when I was stressed with working long hours under lots of pressure or sometimes to wind down on Friday night. Other times, it might have been ToM related. I've done this since I was in primary school.

It's as though something possesses my mind and I must cram vast quantities of food in my mouth. I think about it non-stop until I have binged. Once it's over, I feel guilty but also happy that the urge was met. I can almost feel a glee in my blood as I'm driving home with the food.

I even gave bulimia a try when I was 16 but found it distasteful after a while. I continued the binge eating for many years but decided to swallow the food instead, which led to massive weight gain.

In high school and uni, I remember trying to get money and then buying a full trolley of food which I ate in my locked room (and disposed the wrappers carefully and secretly).

I never told anyone but I tried to address these urges by reading books about it and by keeping a 'grab bag' of healthy binge options (carrot sticks and the like) but it didn't work because I obviously wanted something unhealthy to hurt myself in some way. Sometimes I wouldn't binge for months on end and sometimes I'd do it four times a week. When I wasn't bingeing, I'd sometimes write really, really long lists of all the food I wanted. I'd put these lists in a cardboard box and when the box was full, I'd burn it (man, this gets sicker, doesn't it).

Then I discovered the 'chew and spit' and thought it was the greatest thing. I've been doing this on and off (depending on whether I was on a diet) right up until my pre-op diet.

Post banding, I still sometimes get the compulsion to eat huge quantities of food (not necessarily junk food all the time either) but I know I can't because of the band. I haven't put excessive food in my stomach even once since being banded because I don't want to ruin it but I'm disgusted to say that there is a bowl of gunk and junk on the coffee table next to me which I have just chewed and spat (spit).

As I've become older, I admit that this behaviour has dissipated significantly to the point where I can live with it. That's why I thought getting the band wasn't such a bad idea. I don't feel as messed up now as when I was younger (I'm 31).

While it's not a huge problem anymore, I want to stop doing this. At the same time, I have to admit that I also want to do it. It fulfils the urge I have to binge eat without ingesting all the calories or feeling sick. Going for a walk or deep breathing or meditating won't cut it.

I've chewed and spat twice in the last two weeks (counting today), which far less than usual. Apart from my teeth, I'm in no physical danger but it's not normal or accountable. I wasn't even stressed today. It was a beautiful day. Why did I do it?

It is an insult to myself as well as all the people in the world who don't have enough food. I acknowledge I need therapy for my food issues. I'm seeing a banding psychologist next week and I fully intend to bring this up in the first session. I wonder what she'll say.

In the meantime, I want to know whether anyone else does this and is sick of keeping it a secret. Let's discuss it. Maybe it will help to know we're not alone.

I sometimes can't imagine a life without abusing food. It fulfils a need in me which I don't fully understand.

I do it every time I eat Protein. Sometimes after I chewed and chewed, it can go down with a little sauce and sometimes I can tell it wont so I spit it out. I hate eating in public anymore, I always have so much waste on my plate and am always taking unchewable food out of my mouth. When you have a good fill, like I do now, some days and times it goes down easier than others. I always eat to swallow it but many times just chew and spit. Ironic we are using a anorexic food tool.......I think if you chew on a piece of steak to oblivion, we do get most of the nutrients from its juices. We gotta do what we gotta do....Concentrate on getting your nutrients in and don't worry about being "bad"!

This is exactly what I do. If I'm chewing up something and I can just tell it's too chewey or tough to go down very well, I'll spit what's left of it out.

It seems to me there is a difference between spitting something out because you know you can't swallow it and spitting something out to avoid eating it/absorbing the calories. Lord knows I have been tempted to do this during the liquid phase post surgery, but every time I give it thought, I think about the "Sex and the City" episode where Miranda's old friend has moved to LA and is suddenly thin. She goes out to eat with him and is stunned to watch him chew his steak and then spit it out. I just can't get passed my feeling that this form of satisfaction might not be the best way to deal with cravings. But, to each their own.