I went through the oesophogram and lab work on Wednesday morning. I have my Psych Consult booked for Monday afternoon, physical with Doctor on Thursday afternoon, apt with dietitcian the following Wednesday then insurance can be submitted.

This is going FAST.

I have been on and off wondering if I am doing the wrong thing. But I know it's the right thing and I am feeling more peaceful and more excited.

I mourned the loss of my favorite foods till I was banded and learned I could still eat them if I wanted. But I don't want to nearly as much as before. Wonder how good you're going to look and feel one year from now, that's the silver lining.

That's what I have kept in mind. Dragging myself out of the car for my appointment, climbing the steps up to the hospital entrance, I was so breathless and having to move so slow. It's too hot out for me, hell, I had to remove my shoes and put them back on when I got weighed and height measured for the surgeon, and the nurse got me to sit down and rest so that I could do them up! Velcro!!!!

Running through my mind at these times is always.. a year from now it will be very different, a year from now I won't be suffering all of this.. a year from now I will have lost a ton of weight. And I think the big thing for me is that I believe that with the band.. any other method I had lost all hope.