Hey guys....

Just a little about me and then hopefully you will give me your opinions. I was banded in January of 2004. Since then I have managed to lose 125 lbs, run a triathalon and change my eating life forever.

Here is my quandry! I am struggling with BID...commonly known as Body Image Disorder. When I look in the mirror I see that woman of 125lbs ago. I don't see the new me. I only see what still needs to be done, I see the surgery that I am going to have to go through to fix what I have done. There are times that I think that I haven't done the best thing for myself.

Don't get me wrong, I am a super up person, I love life, I have friends that I care about and a gorgeous family and partner. But when I look in the mirror I don't see the reward that the people see when you are at the grocery store. When people say OMG you look awesome, I find it hard to believe.

I had an amazing person say to me one day when I phoned crying about how I look in the mirror. Kids okay? Yes I said. Your honey okay? Yes I said. Mom okay? Yes I said.....Well then what the hell are you doing looking at yourself naked in the mirror. I haven't done that since the kids were born. She really is a pet.

Bottom line and final question is this....does anyone else feel this way? Thanks for lending and ear....you guys all rock!

Well all I have to say is that my self body image is seriously warped. I have no clue what I really look like. I look in the mirror and I see fat. I know I've lost 85lbs but all I see is the 90 I still need to lose and wondering if I will be happy then with how I look. I look at people who say they are 1x and I think hah, you are in denial cause you are no 18-20 you're bigger than me! But then I llok in the mirror and even though I am down to a 24 I still think I look like the old 34 that I used to be. I know the scale says I'm smaller and I know my clothes are smaller but I still think I look the same. I'm honestly not sure if I will ever be able to get past it. Maybe it will get easier as I get closer to goal, I sure hope so. I think it's safe to say that body image is the biggest struggle of all for us bandsters or any wls patient for that matter.

I had a pretty good body image before. I've always had high self esteem- I think I'm pretty damn cut. But lately I've been feeling down about my body. Its not loose skin that has me down because I don't have much of that yet (well I have some on my upper arms- its kind of gross to see if develope but kind of cool too in a sick sort of way. Those baby's are getting lipoed and lifted a few months after I reach goal). My biggest issues are with boob quality-- I swear there is more sag and there are starting to look a little deflated. They looked rounder before. Also with all the marks on my skin. I've had two surgeries recently (lap band in march, gall bladder out in April). Plus, after the first surgery I had a lovely allergic reaction to the tape that was holding down the gauze over my steri-strips- I broke out in a bunch of blisters underneath it. Well those blisters scared. It looks bad with all that stuff.

Also, I have four round little scars on one breast (they are not raised at all and I know they will fade wit time) from when I found out the hard way the past summer that one shouldn't fry anything at all in the nude. It sort of funny, I didn't think anything of those red marks (or other scars I have in various places on my body-- I'm a clutz) until my husband brought it up. Now they just jump out at me.

So I'm focusing on visualising my scar faded body. I think my tummy is getting thinner. Maybe even my face too, a little. Thats another thing I can focus on, epecially in clothes.

K...

Welcome to the world of deflated boobs!

I was all set to go to my appt for a boob job consultation last Thursday and realized that I need to do a little more research first. I didn't know that implants have to be replaced every 10 years or so due to hard, lumpy, painful boobs. The scarring gets so bad it is supposedly fugly and painful. So I need to research and verify all this before I make the leap but a TT is certainly in order.

K...

Welcome to the world of deflated boobs!

I was all set to go to my appt for a boob job consultation last Thursday and realized that I need to do a little more research first. I didn't know that implants have to be replaced every 10 years or so due to hard, lumpy, painful boobs. The scarring gets so bad it is supposedly fugly and painful. So I need to research and verify all this before I make the leap but a TT is certainly in order.

Yeah, I'm a guy, but just had my boobs SmartLipo-ed a couple weeks ago. Whatever you decide to do or not do, be sure to get AT LEAST four consultations. Just as with band, don't go by price alone. The most expensive doc I talked to for the TT was the least useful in my opinion. I ended up with a mid priced one, but went by what he said and discussed and examined, not by anything else.

Website shows some of it, though not yet the SmartLipo. Will try to get that on web soon.

Oh, also, some have to have boobs redone, but the newest and best silicone boobs (made by same company as made your band) appear like they'll last longer. But like anything in life, no guarantee.

Some also find that there's still enough fat/tissue left after weight loss that they don't need implants if they're willing to have them be lifted but not as "perky" as they'd be with an implant.

dan

My best advice for body image issues is to take a before picture and a now picture and look at them side by side. Despite the mirror, you WILL see the difference if you do this.

So far I intend to have a tummy tuck, a boob lift, and thigh work. My thighs themselves don't bug me that much, but what bugs me is that the skin catches at my knees and makes them look bad. I don't like to wear shorts because of that..

Yeah, I'm a guy, but just had my boobs SmartLipo-ed a couple weeks ago. Whatever you decide to do or not do, be sure to get AT LEAST four consultations. Just as with band, don't go by price alone. The most expensive doc I talked to for the TT was the least useful in my opinion. I ended up with a mid priced one, but went by what he said and discussed and examined, not by anything else.

Website shows some of it, though not yet the SmartLipo. Will try to get that on web soon.

Oh, also, some have to have boobs redone, but the newest and best silicone boobs (made by same company as made your band) appear like they'll last longer. But like anything in life, no guarantee.

Some also find that there's still enough fat/tissue left after weight loss that they don't need implants if they're willing to have them be lifted but not as "perky" as they'd be with an implant.

dan

From what little I understand (I have a LOT of research yet to do) it isn't the implants themselves that wear out, get lumpy, etc., it is the scar tissue.

You know how we WANT scar tissue and adhesions forming around the band? It's what holds it in place? Apparently the same thing happens to boobs with implants. Scar tissue forms and over the years (usually 10) it has gotten out of hand and boobs become lumpy and painful. The implants need to be removed so the scar tissue can be cut away and trimmed down and new implants are then placed.

I'm not sure I want to do this every 10 years. By the time I'm 85 I picture myself with perky boobs and a saggy butt. It's just going to look weird.

Dan....

I've been reading your link and looking at photos. I started to question just how much I want a TT! LOL I still do. I wanted to thank you for making these photos and info available, it is VERY helpful! Thanks!

Dan....

I've been reading your link and looking at photos. I started to question just how much I want a TT! LOL I still do. I wanted to thank you for making these photos and info available, it is VERY helpful! Thanks!

Yes, the photos are pretty dramatic. Both the weight loss ones and the TT ones. Still need to get up the SmartLipo ones, but that'll probably wait until this weekend. I can say that after two weeks I can see the difference (and unlike regular lipo this takes time for the dead fat cells to be absorbed, since they don't suck them all out) and feel the difference. Still not fond of the girdle/device, but....that too shall pass.

dan

I have plenty of time to figure out what to get done. I figure I'll try to get preggers or something after I'm done with grad school. I imagine I should be able to do my arms before then (even if I get put on months of bed red that won't be likely to affect my arms-- and I'm not being melodramatic, looking at my family history and stuff I know I will probably find pregnancy highly unpleasant, but i hope not). I figure everything else would wait until a kid comes out anyway. So most of whatever I get done would be a few years down the road (got to lose the weight and get my masters, figure out family planning, do that, lose that weight, etc). But it does help to get an idea money wise, psychologically, knowing what to do, the steps, etc. Its also a nice idea/imagine to have. That sure I may be bummed out about certain things now. Some things I just have to deal with. Others I just have to plan for and finance.

You are probably right - - I don't know what's it's like to loose 100 pounds. I am anxiously awaiting that day. Let me ask, does exercise and toning not help? Just curious, not trying to be rude or cruel.

This is such a good thread, at my highest I was 258 and I am currently 183 that is a 75 pound difference and I don't feel a bit different than before and I get many complements about how good I look but it even gets me mad for people to notice me now. I don't feel the way I look but in my case I don't have much time for me so I havent worked out like I use to before I had my baby, my band baby was born April 06 and I still can't get back into the lossing phase like I was before. I also see a 243 pound person in the mirror and I hate that feeling.

You are probably right - - I don't know what's it's like to loose 100 pounds. I am anxiously awaiting that day. Let me ask, does exercise and toning not help? Just curious, not trying to be rude or cruel.

Hi Ginger,

Yes exercise and toning helps, but when you've got a hundred pounds lost there will still be a bunch that won't ever "just go away". Look at my website, and at the tummytuck part in particular (or the other pix too) and you'll see what I mean. The tummytuck took about ten pounds of skin and fat off of me. And I've always been a gym rat, even at 355 pounds. So exercise will help, but won't make all that loose skin go away. And fat cells never die, they just shrink...so they're still there.

dan

Yes, exercise has helped me and I'm sure it will help you as well. Since I exercised prior to being banded the lose skin is a lot better but I never imagined that I would be dealing with this issue afterwards. I thought after WL that would be it. I am not in a position to pay for plastic surgery so I will have to continue to work on mines through diet & exercise. Will I ever be comfortable, properly not but I am still very happy about the weight lost.

I think I have this unrealistic image of what I'm going to look like when I lose all my weight (Yes, I'm thinking I'll look like a Victoria Secret Model). I keep looking at myself in the mirror - yes, naked, and waiting for the image to appear, and it hasn't. I find it a little disappointing.

However, clothed, I feel good. I think I look "ok", I know I still have a lot to lose. And I am hoping I can afford plastic surgery down the road. I am exercising in hopes to avoid so much lose skin (now I see in the post above, that ain't going to happen, lol). But I feel better exercising and it helps with the weight loss so I will continue.

I think the BID is something we will always deal with, we've been overweight for a long time and will see ourselves as a fat person. I'm trying to deal with that myself, trying to overcome the negative feelings I have. I think I will always have to work on it, but I am happier now, and I would not trade my 248 lbs self for nothing!

Ladies, stand up and be proud of yourself, we are women, hear us roar! - We might have some flab, we might have some sagging skin, but by god, we are healthy and living our life to the fullest.

You are probably right - - I don't know what's it's like to loose 100 pounds. I am anxiously awaiting that day. Let me ask, does exercise and toning not help? Just curious, not trying to be rude or cruel.

I began exercising within 1 month of my surgery. For the past year I have been pretty hardcore. Working out 5-7 times a week for about 2 hours. (1 hr weigh training/1 hour cardio). Loose skin was always a fear of mine, and I wanted to do what I could to avoid it at all costs.

I hoped that because I had always been a very athletic person (3 sport athlete in HS/college) , because I was at the lower end of the obesity spectrum, and because I was still pretty young, that my skin would be rather resilient.

I do have loose skin. I have it in my arms, stomach, buttocks, and upper thighs, but it is not as excessive as others that I have seen. To look at me clothed, you probably wouldn't know. My arms and legs actually appear toned (until I have to move them, lol).

So does exercise and toning help with loose skin? I'm sure it does, but only to a certain extent. Who knows how much additional skin I would have right now if I dieted without exercise this past year.

Don't get me wrong. I am thrilled to have lost the weight I have. But it has definitely been bittersweet when the idealistic must confront the reality (especially if $$$ prevents you from getting plastic surgery)