Hello Darlinks.

I've been away for a bit. Did you miss me?! (That's a rhetorical joke, btw!)

Went on holiday. My first proper holiday in the sun since being sliced and diced.

So, what did I learn on my travels to foreign climes?

• Water consumption. It is kinda important. Stops one from passing out and prevents your skin looking akin to that of a sun-dried prune.
• Beer and vodka-sprite. It is not a good substitute for water. Despite it being entertaining, it gives you a headache and forces you to have to drink far more water to replenish and sustain hydration levels which then compromises food intake. It is also not as nice as Guinness. But then you all knew that.
• Protein. I was at an 'all inclusive' affair. I realised pesky chef's don't particularly like dolling out the protein en-masse as it is expensive and they're trying to minimise costs. Consequently, I became that person who swiped 'the best bits', muscled people out of the way to get the extra piece of steak or last omelet being served in the mornings. Without sufficient protein I felt weak. It also compromised my ability to drink beer and vodka-sprite - and who needs that?!
• Puddings/Deserts. Are absolutely pointless and made me feel sick. The tube that is now my stomach has very much done its job, in that I do not tolerate sugary things well. I also found it dehydrated me, which then compounded the feeling of 'urgh'. Subsequently, if I wanted something sweet, I opted for water melon. Sweet enough, tasty and well, is largely made up of water! Huzzah!
• Sun tan cream. Before buying this, please have a little think about how much you will actually need. I, with my head up my bottom, bought enough lotion to slather up an entire herd of elephants. Clearly, as with most body-dysmorphics, I had bought what I would have previously consumed pre-sleeve. When my skin was three times the square footage. Consequently, I came home with three untouched bottles.
• hair Loss. Yes, weird, but a point I hadn't considered. If, like me, you lost a fair amount of hair; be forewarned. When you go out into the sun where your hair has thinned, you can easily get a burnt scalp- unless you protect it with cream or a hat or something. I got a burnt head and then a few days later had to deal with all the serious flaking going on. Not an attractive look; your partner picking out massive lumps of skin out of your hair like some chimpanzee grooming its partner when you're out for dinner in the local town or in pleasant company.
• Jewellery. Yes, I have lost weight. Yes, I wore jewellery. Yes, I drank vodka-sprite, went dancing and didn't realise till the next day that my watch, the one I'd been promising to get some links taken out of, had flung off my wrist at some point during the evening and was now lost. A diamond ring also flung off on a separate occasion, but thankfully, I spotted it happening and quickly reclaimed it. Don't put off getting your jewellery re-sized. Or, alternatively, and if you're going dancing - don't wear it. I was very sad I'd lost my watch. Still, gives me an excuse to buy a nice shiny new one....
• Razors and shaving. Bit personal but hey, we're all sharers here. What a difference losing 60 odd pounds makes?! I could reach the places other razors couldn't previously reach and in record time, too! No awkward breath-sapping contortions, fuzz or badly-packed packets of rolling tobacco for me, thank you very much!
• Sweating and heat rash. Practically non-existent in comparison. What a difference. Amazing. Made my holiday. Prepare to be amazed. I was.
• Feeling attractive. Finally it happened. I realised I was thinner, healthier, happier and that even my hair is getting thicker, my skin is beginning to snap back into shape again - along with my boobs! I was humbled and left with a warm, smiley, fuzzy feeling. My bottom got pinched a lot, too. So I assume that my inner happy was matching my outer happy and that made 'him' want to grope me more

If you hadn't already worked it out... I had a lovely time.

Here's hoping you, too, have a very happy, warm, fun-filled summer. Everything we've gone through? It's so worth it.

Revs x

Thank you, Ladies, you're very kind. Its good to be back.

Oh and congrats on being post op now, Snoho.

Hope your recovery is going well. Now you'll fully understand what we're all wittering on about now!

Oh, and why we're all so barking mad!

Revs x

Welcome back lovie! So glad you had a wonderful time and you look absolutely smashing! Brava

Welcome back lovie! So glad you had a wonderful time and you look absolutely smashing! Brava

Cheers, love! And thank you! x

You look positively Gorgeous!!!

Love to read your post – your humor is hilarious!! Glad you had a wonderful time

You look positively Gorgeous!!!

Love to read your post – your humor is hilarious!! Glad you had a wonderful time

Fanks, treacle

Welcome back Madam! You look fabulous. I'm so glad you are seeing it now.

As for the sun, one word: HAT! Protects thinning hair from sun damage and exposed scalp. Plus, it looks exotic when paired with oversized sunglasses and you don't have to slather as much sunscreen on your face, ears, and neck.

Like everyone else, I adore your witty posts and admire your helpful tips to those in need.

Lynda

Welcome back Madam! You look fabulous. I'm so glad you are seeing it now.

As for the sun, one word: HAT! Protects thinning hair from sun damage and exposed scalp. Plus, it looks exotic when paired with oversized sunglasses and you don't have to slather as much sunscreen on your face, ears, and neck.

Like everyone else, I adore your witty posts and admire your helpful tips to those in need.

Lynda

Thank you, Lynda.

I'd love to say I do see it, but more often than not, I don't. I just felt happier and healthier within myself being in the sunshine.

As for the hat - that is sooooo my style. However, the man thought I looked a bit too Cannes film festival, when I tried one on! (He's from the deep south!)

When the confidence quotient increases a bit more, I will be sure to do a Sophia Loren on it in the (hopefully) not too distant future x

Maybe one with a sporty brim then, but you can't beat those big Sophia Loren film festival ones for sun protection! The girlie fedoras are cute and would at least protect your ears, forehead, and scalp.

My hope for you is that as time goes by you more often see the you we all see. I know I still have days I feel fat (really - I'm at the lower end of normal BMI!), ugly, wrinkly,old, whatever. And then most days I feel pretty good about myself.

l

Hi Madame Rev,

I missed you too! After wondering why I hadn't seen any posts from you in a while I did a Madame Rev search today to find you (I'm not a stalker just a fan of your posts).

Happy to see you were on vacation and had a great time.

Glad you're back.You keep things interesting and fun!

B