".....to be self evident.....that all Bandsters are created equal, and that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Non-Morbid Obesity....

....

That to secure these rights, surgery is instituted among Men, deriving their just Eating Activities from the consent of the Band.....That whenever any Form of Overeating becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the Bandster to alter or abolish their Old Bad Health Habits, and to institute a new Paradigm. laying its foundation on such Eating behavior and organizing its Exercise in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Health and Normal BMI."

May the Lessons of Lexington Bridge and General Washington strengthen Our Resolve on this Day of Independence...

etc....

Cute. Happy independence day.