My surgery is 23rd... I am doing or trying to do my 2 week pre-op diet (i'm having one egg a day in place of a shake cause they make me gag).

I am all for the surgery...I sped through the process like a freight train (about 2 months)... I don't know if it's the feeling that I'm failing at the pre-op diet or because the date is so close by, but suddenly I'm so scared. What if I have a clot, what if I have internal bleeding.. What if I'm starving, what if I can't take care of my 2 kids... Do I really need this? I will never be able to indulge again...

I'm so scared and it's making me panic with anxiety...

Please tell me this is normal and that I'm not crazy. I suddenly feel that If I had will power I can do this on my own.....But we know that's not gonna happen, and def not at 40. I can't even stick to a damn pre-op diet, what makes me think I can stick to anything else.

I'm so sad, scared and confused....

I UNDERSTAND THAT COMPLETELY, I HAVE A 21 YEAR OLD AND A 2 YEAR OLD...IT'S NOT A TYPO..LOL, A 2 YEAR OLD. I ADOPTED HIM.AT 3 DAYS OLD, AND COULDNT.IMAGINE LIFE WITHOUT HIM. WHEN I.DECIDED TO DO THIS, I THOUGHT OF HOW HE WOULD BE AFFECTED IF ANYTHING WENT WRONG MORE THAN AANYTHING ELSE. THERE SO VULNERABLE, AND.WERE THERE WORLD, BUT NO MATTET THE SITUATION...ELECTIVE SURGERY, GOING TO CATCH THE BUS AND GETTING HIT, OR STAGE 4 CANCER, WE ARE NOT IN.CONTROL! GOD IS AND WILL BE GOD,!!.WE HAVE TO PRAY WITH FAITH, THINK.WITH FAITH, AND JUST UNDERSTAND THAT HE DIDNT BRING US DOWN THIS.PATH.FOR.NOTHING....WERE TRYING TO LIVE, AND HE'S SHOWING US THE WAY. OF COURSR WITH SURGERY THERE'S THAT "PERCENTAGE" THAT WE'VE ALL INCLUDED OUTSELVES IN BY NOW, BUT WITHOUT THE SURGERY THERES A "GUARANTEE" THAT WE'VE ALL.BEEN PLAYING RUSSIAN ROULETTE WITH. IM 1 WEEK POST OP TODAY, AND IM NOT THE TYPE THAT HAS TO BE THE BEST, SO I KEEP IT REAL. I WOKE UP IN PAIN...NOT SCREAING AND CRYING.PAIN, BUT I FELT IT.IM EXTREMELY TIRED AND I WALK.VERY SLOW BECAUSE IM SWOLLEN. IIT'S HARD TO GET THE FLUIDS IN AND I FIND MYSELF WANTING TO.EAT THE SKIN OFF OF.PEOPLES CHICKEN(LOL) AND IM NOT EVEN HUNGRY....BUT WHEN I STARTED I WAS 302....IM 287 Today. I didn't follow the post up until the LAST OF CLEAR LIQUIDS....I.DID THE SHAKES OCCASIONALLY, BUT I WAS SO.NERVOUS MY APPETITE WENT OUT THE WINDOW. IT WAS NERVE WRECKING, TIME CONSUMING,AND I FEEL LIKE I.BEEN HIT BY A TRUCK.....BUT I.WOULD DO.EVERY BIT OF IT OVER IT AGAIN!!! I PROMISE YOU, SO KEEP THE FAITH AND PLEASE UTILIZE THIS BOARD!!!! IT WORKS AND IT'S THERE 24 HOURS A DAY, 7 DAYS A WEEK! GOOD LUCK, YOUR IN MY PRAYERS...YOU WILL DO GREAT, AND REMEMBER THIS CONVO WHEN YOUR AT YOUR GRANDSONS HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATION!!!!!

I needed this thread!!! Thanks everyone.