Hey guys! I was thinking on my way to work about some of the comments I've read since starting this journey. Many ppl have stated both on here and on Facebook that for them this was never about being thin/slim. I believe these ppl are in denial especially if they have never been thin/slim. I will be extremely honest about what I want from this procedure because this is a safe place and I feel there are too many ppl who feel the same.

I desire to wear a size that does not limit where I shop

I desire to see my feet when I look down

I want to be able to pull my knees to my chest

I want to NOT FEEL AS IF EVERYONE IS LOOKING AT THE FAT GIRL THAT JUST ENTERED THE ROOM, and FEELING JUDGED especially with a group of skinny bitches

I want to go up several flights of stairs without falling out once I reach the top

I want to see my damn collar bone

THE MOST IMPORTANT REASONS....

1. I want to be rid of the damn PCOS and they weight loss is the only way

2. I want to have babies one day

3. I want my future children to have a healthy mom to look up to

Don't you ever let anyone tell you #4 is shallow or vain. We ALL have that one person who we want to see us once we've reached a point where we are not only comfortable but feel completely fabulous.

Aw, thank you. I really appreciate that because I did feel kind of shallow/lame for wanting her to see me. Though we've been friends many years, we do have a bit of a rivalry going on and whenever we'd get together with other friends, I'd kind of dread seeing her because she's been steadily losing and maintaining her weight for the last 10 years while I was ballooning. I didn't realize how bad it was until she posted a pic of us from HS and I saw how tiny I used to be.

Everyone's "desires" so far have resonated with me, too! Here are a couple of mine:

To be able to comfortably fit in a seat in a stadium seat. My family loves to go to hockey games, but I don't usually go because I don't fit in the seats comfortably. I have been able to jam myself into them in the past, but because of the massive pillow I am sitting on all the time (my butt) I never have enough leg room in stadium seats--I have to sit with my knees pointing sideways so they are not crushed into the back of the seat in front of me. And that's saying nothing of the major bruises I get on my hips from trying to cram myself into normal size stadium seats.

Being able to fit into a student desk at my kids' schools during open house and parent/teacher conferences. It is so embarrassing to have to stand at the back of the room when everyone else is sitting at a desk. Want to know what's even more embarrassing? Sitting in a student desk for said open house and having the student desk COLLAPSE. I wanted to disappear.

To be able to keep up with my family. We went to Disney World in 2011 and I had the hardest time keeping up, even with them trying to walk slower than usual to wait for me--I usually just sent them ahead of me and met up with them. That's no fun.

My reasons for the VSG:

• I was on the upper, warning side of becoming diabetic. Last time I had my levels checked, I'm on the lower end of being SAFE! I'm no longer in the warning zone.
• Knee and back pain has been very constant.
• Having to keep buying larger and larger clothing. It get so expensive. I just couldn't afford that, anymore.
• Not liking how I looked at all.
• I gained enough weight that I developed a double chin. I would cry while looking at the mirror. I've now lost pretty much ALL of my double chin.
• My HANDS even gained weight. Now, my hands feel thinner than what they used to.

• Of course, my physical health was important to me. But, thing is, physical isn't the ONLY type of health we have. We also have mental and emotional. I wanted all three to improve, and I firmly believed having the surgery would help all three. && So far, it has helped.

I'm more:

• Happy.
• Healthy.
• Active.
• I feel like I'm "blossoming" because I'm now wearing pretty, feminine clothing. Before, I'd pretty much only wear men clothing, because women clothing looked wrong / couldn't fit. I'm now trying to shop at nice clothing stores, and I feel confident about it.