:help: I came across an earlier thread which sort of hit on a concern. I am in the process of considering banding and feel certain it is what I want to do. However, how did you all deal with the work place? From what did you tell you boss? Your co-workers? I haven't decided how I am going to explain they days I am off. I am a workalcoholic, so any days out of the office will be noticed. I know I am not obligated to share my medical info, not really the point. However, there are co-workers I go to lunch with often and if all goes well, it will be clear why I was off if I begin to drop the pounds. I work in a large office area and some people can be very judgemental and ... honestly just plain rude. I was curious if anyone had this experience and how they dealt with it. At the end of the day, I am doing this for me and what they think should not matter, however, it does impact my day to day life. Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated. *I have a boss that is a size 2, she is beautiful and vain. She would never understand what I am doing and why. :nervous

Hello, I was in the same boat. I work for a very large National Long Distance Company. I am always at work, I sometimes work on weekends. I am private about my health and I didn't want to tell my boss, my friends or anyone about my surgery.

Well, it turns out I have a hiatal hernia, so I just told them I was taking off to have a hernia repair. They are repairing my hernia at the same time they put the band in (48 more hours to go :clap2: ).

The hernia saved me from lying or having to tell them more. If I had not had the hernia, I was going to tell them I need off because I have some stomach issues and leave it at that. If they asked more questions, I was just going to say politely but firmly I didn't want to discuss it.

I don't want to be the office gossip so I chose not to tell anyone here at work, Maybe down the line I will tell, but for now I'm keeping it private.

I wish you the best!

However, how did you all deal with the work place? From what did you tell you boss? Told my boss I was having surgery, unspecified. I would have had no problems telling her, it just never came up. She found out a few months later when I made some comment about food & she didn't understand what I meant. I'd forgotten she didn't already know.

Your co-workers? My co-workers are in other states, except for one pretty nosey girl here. I didn't volutneer the information, but with anyone it came up with, I told them I was having lap-band surgery, then proceeded to explain what that was each time.

I haven't decided how I am going to explain they days I am off. I am a workalcoholic, so any days out of the office will be noticed. I know I am not obligated to share my medical info, not really the point. However, there are co-workers I go to lunch with often and if all goes well, it will be clear why I was off if I begin to drop the pounds. I work in a large office area and some people can be very judgemental and ... honestly just plain rude. I was curious if anyone had this experience and how they dealt with it. At the end of the day, I am doing this for me and what they think should not matter, however, it does impact my day to day life. Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated. *I have a boss that is a size 2, she is beautiful and vain. She would never understand what I am doing and why. :nervous Here are my thoughts. I don't think they're the norm (many more people tend to hide their banding than share it. I tell anyone). For one, I never saw any reason to hide it. I was proud of myself for doing what it took, and had no shame at all. To me, I tell my co-workers if I'm going to the dentist, so why not tell them I'm getting lap-band? No real difference as I see it. No sensitivities. I talked about my weight. It's not like no one would know I was fat if I didn't say anything and bring it to their attention.

Beyond that - here's my logic.

For 1 - I'm going to lose weight, and people are going to ask what I'm doing. I'm not one to lie or tell partial truths. And in hindsight, I'm 100% happy I took that approach, because I've been able to share my information and help others, who didn't know the band was out there and thought their only option was RNY, realize that they do have some other methods available to them. I only lie well when I don't have to remember the details afterward.

For 2 - like I said, I'm on a virtual team and my co-workers are in other states. I sit in an office, but don't work with the people here. So I don't really have workplace friends, or didn't then anyway. Since I don't really "belong" to a group here, the other areas always invite me to their teambuilders, lunches, etc. I knew from friends who were banded that when stuff doesn't go down it has to come back up. I figured "fat chance" being able to hide that. And for me, being able to just say "be right back, band didn't like that" or "food isn't going down right, give me a minute" is much better than disappearing to the bathroom and then having people come look for me because they're concerned I'm sick. TRUST ME. When you have to PB, there isn't much way to hide it unless you leave the table before the pain hits... in which case you're gone long enough to attract attention anyway.

For three - IF something were to happen, and I were to need medical care at work, I wanted my band to be known so that someone could relay the information in case I wasn't able to. Chances of this happening are slim to none, I'm in a corporate offices environment, but still - you never know.

Who gives a flip if your boss understands why you're doing this? You don't need anyone's approval. Except for insurance co if that's your route! If YOU make the decision that this is right for YOU, and to share, then others can accept it or not. How much will that mean to you in the long run?

And FWIW, everyone but one person has been VERY supportive. That one person means well, but is jealous, and doesn't handle it well. My co-workers have even advocated LB to their friends, as a result of talking to me. It's fantastic.

Look at it this way, obesity IS a disease. If you had cancer (god forbid) or some other disease that people are more 'sympathetic' to, you wouldn't really be as concerned, right? That's how I felt about it. I have obesity. It's killing me. I am having it taken care of. Insurance (FROM MY COMPANY) has approved it - I'm taking the time off.

As for the weight loss being obvious down the road, I took advice from this board: "I'm eating less and working out more". It ain't gonna be a lie!

I think I'm goning to tell tell my boss (male) that I need surgery to have an ovarian cyst removed. With only 5 people in my office, I think this is the best way to explain why I need a week off work.

i told my boss that i just needed a small medical procedure done and needed some time off and he just shrugged. he didn't ask anything further. maybe you can just tell everyone you are taking a few days off for vacation?

as for losing weight - with the band (from what i've read) you lose slowly enough that you can simply say you are dieting and exercising. it's not like you will lose 75lbs in 2 months where that will be completely obvious.

i'm telling my closest friends and that's it. i'm proud to be doing this for my health, but i don't need a million eyes judging me or godforbid being HELPFUL. "are you sure you can eat that?" ACK!

I wish I had kept it a secret. I would tell them you are having a hernia repaired. Later on down the road when the weight comes off, you are just eating smaller portions and exercising. When you go to lunch with them, they will see the smaller portions. While you are on the liquid phase, you can have a "stomach flu" that you just can't shake.

I think it is fine not to tell anyone. It is completely your business.

I didn't tell my boss a darn thing!! I requested the time off I needed, 3 days, (the day of surgery (Friday) and days to recoupe (weekend + Monday & Tuesday). They don't know what I did on my days off. If anyone ask --tell them family is coming in town. But frankly --I feel it's no ones business if you wish to not share it. I would becareful with saying you are having a specific procedure done and down the road you need to really have it done.

Best Wishes!

Melissa Lea

Thank you all for your feedback and support. It has all been great.

Melissa Lea - thank you too. *I am considering Dr. Spivak for my banding. I am attending the seminar tomorrow. And like you, I am self pay. My insurance does not cover the procedure. If you can, please feel free to share more about your experience with Dr. Spivak and his office/staff.... lessons learned, etc. You can send a private message if you prefer. Just curious.

Thank you again to everyone who has shared in this thread. What an awesome support system!

i told a coworker when i was considering it - then a few more during the long dreaded insurance process... finally i got the approval phone call and told HR. BTW didn't tell DH til insurance approved, I know i was naughty HR knew before he even knew i was thinking about it. ANyway, I think i told everyone and didn;t have any issues. i took a laptop home with me to at least stay up on emails during the week. I came back to work a week later to a huge box of protein mixes and jellos and nosugar goodies.

I did tell my clients I would be out for a week to get my gallbladder out. I had it out in 2000 so I didn't feel bad about the lie. =)

I am NOT telling my boss.......... HE FREAKED when I took time off for my consult and kept asking me if I had an interview.... so when I told him I needed time off for appointments (tomorrow and next MOnday) he looked at me cockeyed (thinking I had 2nd and 3rd interviews) so I broke down and told him that I was meeting with a nutritionist.. (NOT telling him about the psych) OMG... it has been nonstop talking about NUTRITION!!! and my latest weight gain.....

We are in a small department with adjoining offices so our only coworkers are each other.. he is 60+ and he truly thinks of me as a daughter..... HE IS NOT SUBTLE and basically a loveable pain in the ass..... I am taking PTO days to cover my time. I have told exactly ONE person here because she is a good friend, but I'm already regretting that one too. because she is now making excuses why SHE CANT DO IT.... (I told her today... HEY its not for everyone, but it IS FOR ME, I'm not trying to talk you into it)

Good luck with whatever you decide.............. (OH and I will most likely tell people freely AFTER I have lost weight.. because I am HR and I truly want people to know they have the option with our insurance)

Tell everyone. I DID. no need to lie, you doing it for your self.BAND IS JUST TOOL.you still have take care of your self

I told a couple of friends at work that I was thinking about LBS and they almost freaked out. They are all so nosey there that I figured they would find out some way, so I just told them. I won't tell my boss until I get a surgery date. I will have to tell him because I may have to take off from work for fills and such.

I have good friend that we go out to eat with all the time and I dread telling her because she is so negative! I guess she will figure it all out when we go out to eat and I just eat some of what my husband has on his plate!

I am just saying that I am taking a week's vacation down south and I have kinda already mentioned that, but nothing is solid right now. All I got was why would you want to go there(meaning Mexico), and I just said that I wanted to go somewhere different for vacation. LOL

Good Luck and remember, it is your business and you know your co-workers better than anyone, so it's up to you how you handle the situation.

Peace,

Judy

I told everyone the truth. There are 21 people in my office and probably 17 of them know, my actual boss is in another city and she probably told 10 people there. These people have been my biggest cheerleaders.

I went through about 2 weeks when my band was too tight that I had about 4 meals in all that time. I got to looking kind of bad and everyone was concerned and told me I had let it go on too long. My bosses boss even told me if I didn't call the doctor he would!

Why lie? You are doing something great for yourself which I think is commendable.

I don't really view NOT telling my boss as a lie........ it's just simply none of his business.... I may end up telling him after I've lost weight, but for now it would be 8 hours a day of him sitting accross my desk wanting to talk about it, or tease me, or tell me that it is stupid waste of money and every other uneducated opinion he could muster... I've learned this lesson the hard way.... He still brings up things I've told him about my personal life that were pertinant 5 years ago, he is very judgmental.. hell he even judges my parents (because I am divorced) The list goes on an on..... I agree with the the person who said, YOU KNOW YOUR COWORKERS BEST..... this is good advice to remember.