Tomorrow is my big day but still have a small bit of doubt ! My BMI is kind of low (36), but it has been that way for 20+ years despite all my dieting efforts. My husband & I are fine with my size & looks, but it's by far not about that ! I am 51, have severe sleep apnea, recently diagnosed with T2 Diabetes and have been on high BP meds for a few years. I know in my heart this is the right thing but I'm afraid of being judged or judging myself for not trying harder at the gym. After working 40+ hours a week, I'll admit , the gym wasn't a happy place for me. I appreciate any thoughts. last minute jitters I guess

Jeanie, I too am a lower BMI. I have had a couple of close friends tell me they thought I wasn't heavy enough for the surgery. First, it's really evenly distributed and I probably do not look as heavy as I am. I think I look my weight but they seem surprised I weigh what I do. I don't see how, I wear a 3x top! But this has been a struggle for more than 25 years. I've been bigger, and I've been smaller. I'm in the general neighborhood weight-wise that I've been for years. I can't seem to get it off and keep it off.

I have a strong family history of diabetes and heart disease. I am pre-diabetic, have elevated cholesterol and lipids, and am knocking on the door of cardiac problems. I'm 45 and I want to run with my kids and not get out of breath running up the stairs at work. I want to be healthy. I can honestly say I've tried everything else. I lived in the gym for a couple of years. Yes, I lost weight. But it was not a reasonable effort to lose it. It was extraordinary and all consuming. I don't have the time, energy or inclinication for that now. I want to be present for my kids, my husband, and myself. This is for me and my immediate family. Everyone else is entitled to their opiniion. I appreciate their concern and that it's coming from a caring place. But this was a decision my very conservative husband is behind 100% because he's seen the struggles and is concerned for my health.

I will gladly tell people I'm having it done and gladly tell how I lost the weight. If they feel entitled to remark upon it, I am very capable of saying "I appreciate your concern, but this is my journey."

Am I scared? Do I have any reservations, concerns and "Have I really tried everything?" questions? ABSOLUTELY! Terrified. But I'm terrified of what will happen if I don't have it. Need to do this before I have serious, irreversible complications.

You are not in it alone and you have a tremendous support group in this forum as well as your family.

Have a great day tomorrow, Jeannie. Be calm, be confident, and know you're taking back control of you.

Jeanie, I too am a lower BMI. I have had a couple of close friends tell me they thought I wasn't heavy enough for the surgery. First, it's really evenly distributed and I probably do not look as heavy as I am. I think I look my weight but they seem surprised I weigh what I do. I don't see how, I wear a 3x top! But this has been a struggle for more than 25 years. I've been bigger, and I've been smaller. I'm in the general neighborhood weight-wise that I've been for years. I can't seem to get it off and keep it off.

I have a strong family history of diabetes and heart disease. I am pre-diabetic, have elevated cholesterol and lipids, and am knocking on the door of cardiac problems. I'm 45 and I want to run with my kids and not get out of breath running up the stairs at work. I want to be healthy. I can honestly say I've tried everything else. I lived in the gym for a couple of years. Yes, I lost weight. But it was not a reasonable effort to lose it. It was extraordinary and all consuming. I don't have the time, energy or inclinication for that now. I want to be present for my kids, my husband, and myself. This is for me and my immediate family. Everyone else is entitled to their opiniion. I appreciate their concern and that it's coming from a caring place. But this was a decision my very conservative husband is behind 100% because he's seen the struggles and is concerned for my health.

I will gladly tell people I'm having it done and gladly tell how I lost the weight. If they feel entitled to remark upon it, I am very capable of saying "I appreciate your concern, but this is my journey."

Am I scared? Do I have any reservations, concerns and "Have I really tried everything?" questions? ABSOLUTELY! Terrified. But I'm terrified of what will happen if I don't have it. Need to do this before I have serious, irreversible complications.

You are not in it alone and you have a tremendous support group in this forum as well as your family.

Thank you for your words. Your story is similar to mine except I'm a little older. I am with you, I am terrified of what will happen if I don't. Thank you for your support. I know this is a personal decision that deep down inside I know is right for me. I wish you luck on your journey too. hugs xxx jeanie

Have a great day tomorrow, Jeannie. Be calm, be confident, and know you're taking back control of you.

That's for the well wishes jayker. I WILL be confident! The same to you on the 23rd

I'm in exactly the same boat, my dear. BMI of 35.87, and carry my weight 'well', because I'm tall. Still doesn't detract from the PCOS, the constantly sore knee, the compressed L4/5 lumbars, trapped sciatic and sacral nerves and the diabetes knocking on the door.

I'll level with you - I'm petrified, too. My mind is consistently saying 'you are cutting up a perfectly functioning organ, what are you doing, woman?!!!'. In fact, I think I'll need a bucket load of drugs on board before even getting into the theater because of how scared I am. I think most people here have experienced varying degrees of this and I, too, would be grateful to know if anyone had the mental block about the surgery part?

The only words of comfort I can offer, because I am in the same boat as you, is that neither of us would have been approved for surgery, if the doctors/surgeons/nutritionists/psychologists felt we could have done it any other way and that it's genuinely for the best.

My thoughts will be with you tomorrow. Deep breaths, steel yourself and you will fly through this. It is but a little mountain to climb, in order to find your nirvana. It'll no doubt be easier than you think. You're a woman after all - we bloody rock at this stuff!

Let us know how you get on. I'll be waiting to learn from your experience.

All the best, x

We are our own worst critics.

I'm in exactly the same boat, my dear. BMI of 35.87, and carry my weight 'well', because I'm tall. Still doesn't detract from the PCOS, the constantly sore knee, the compressed L4/5 lumbars, trapped sciatic and sacral nerves and the diabetes knocking on the door.

I'll level with you - I'm petrified, too. My mind is consistently saying 'you are cutting up a perfectly functioning organ, what are you doing, woman?!!!'. In fact, I think I'll need a bucket load of drugs on board before even getting into the theater because of how scared I am. I think most people here have experienced varying degrees of this and I, too, would be grateful to know if anyone had the mental block about the surgery part?

The only words of comfort I can offer, because I am in the same boat as you, is that neither of us would have been approved for surgery, if the doctors/surgeons/nutritionists/psychologists felt we could have done it any other way and that it's genuinely for the best.

My thoughts will be with you tomorrow. Deep breaths, steel yourself and you will fly through this. It is but a little mountain to climb, in order to find your nirvana. It'll no doubt be easier than you think. You're a woman after all - we bloody rock at this stuff!

Let us know how you get on. I'll be waiting to learn from your experience.

All the best, x

It's nice to know I'm not alone. I too have sciatic nerve problems among other things. Your words have inspired me and I thank you for that. It was a nice post to read right before bed. I am like you, I do not mess with any of my perfectly functioning organs, but this body is not working and processing the way it used to and drastic times call for drastic measures. Please let me know when your date of surgery is because I would like to cheer you on as well. Sounds like you are from the UK. That would be great because I know a little cockney slang. Thanks again for your support and I will let you know how it all goes!!! jeanie

We are our own worst critics.

Yes we are Kennedy. We only get one shot on this big rock in the sky

Thank you for your words. Your story is similar to mine except I'm a little older. I am with you, I am terrified of what will happen if I don't. Thank you for your support. I know this is a personal decision that deep down inside I know is right for me. I wish you luck on your journey too. hugs xxx jeanie

Will be keeping you in my thoughts/prayers. Let us know how you are doing as soon as you are able. You'll do great!

Jeanie-How are you doing? How was the surgery? I hope all is well and recovery has been smooth!