So my loved one, my husband in fact, is leaving tomorrow at the crack-of-still-dark to go to Tijuana and have his VSG procedure. Six months to the day after mine. I was and have been so far text book in all things pre and post-op... I had peace and excitement about going and starting life fresh. I thought I'd feel the same for him. But it's time for him to go and I'm a wreck. Trying to be strong and brave for him, but not doing a good job.

Did you have peace about the surgery when your loved one went? I'm a practicing Christian and generally spiritual, were there scriptures or quotes that helped you through- that you hung on to while your loved one was in the patient position?

I want to feel connected to him during the surgery (I am not going- another loved one is, we have a teen and animals that need care, plus I would not be much help I don't think) so I've arranged to have a tattoo done at the same time he's supposed to be in surgery but that's just that short time. There's the getting there and the prep and the post-op, etc. Friends and family are signed up to distract me but my mind remains with him. Work will be impossible tomorrow, I'm taking the day off.

I feel selfish and quite rude, taking away any joy or excitement he may be feeling. He appeared to hold it together so well for me when I went, though he admitted the other night he "went nuts" when I left and he was in the dark about my status. He hid it well.

Maybe I just needed to share this in writing, get it off my chest. I do a lot of processing better in writing. But if there's any been-there-done-that out there for me, I'd be grateful to read how you coped. Thanks!

My husband and I are both sleeved (about as far apart as you and your husband...I was 10-22-10 and he was 3-7-11) and I don't remember having too much anxiety about his surgery. BUT I was there, giving his hand a squeeze before they wheeled him into the OR, my in-laws came to the hospital and kept my mind from doing any damage.

I think it would be hard to have a spouse travel and NOT be able to go and be that physical support. Use your prayers, keep your faith strong, and most of all be positive.

When my husband was sleeved, he got to choose his surgery date. He chose his birthday. And that made a huge impact on me because getting healthy was the best birthday present he could have ever given himself!

Everything will turn out ok, hang in there!