For some reason, the thing on my mind tonight is all of the things I need to fix in my life. These past four years I completely let myself go. I gained 100 lbs and stopped caring about myself. My teeth aren't as white, my nails and hair aren't done anymore, I don't (not to mention can't) dress nice anymore. Now that I am finally taking steps to regain control of my life again, I am sitting here looking at myself going, hooooly moly. This may take a while.

This is not an assumption that many of us have "let ourselves go", but I am just curious. How did you finally take control for good? This surgery is an amazing tool that I am so excited to get in a few months. But obviously it isn't going to fix the deeper things going on. Is this stuff that I will go over come my psych eval?

You may touch on it in your eval, but if you have concerns, make the effort to see your counselor more than just for an eval. Many people find that they have issues that they need help to get in order to keep on the right track, and it's perfectly normal to do so. It might take a few sessions, or you may find that it is more deeply seated or it leads to enough of a rabbit hole that you need more extended help, but I would say it's probably worth it.

I'm not sure at this point, whether I was depressed and gained weight, or I gained weight and got depressed. I think I got to a point that I thought that I was too far gone with my weight to try anymore. When I stopped trying to lose weight. I stopped trying altogether. I stopped wearing make-up, the only clothes I really had were jeans and t-shirts. Anyhow, I looked in the mirror one day a couple months ago and decided that life is too short to give up on myself. I started to look into surgery, specifically, surgery in Mexico. I contacted Placidway, the patient coordinator from Hospitale de la Familia contacted me and everything was arranged through the hospital. So now I am waiting for my July 30th surgery date.

Good luck! I had given up also until I realized that this isn't me

I too,feel like I dropped the ball in taking better care of my self. I got married 6/7/08 an had loss 55 lbs that brought me to a weight of 158 lbs. I had used the 6-wk body make over & weight clinic where you get a B-12 shot + pills, both worked but after leaving my job, family/friends, church & home to live with my new husband.(who loves to cook) I started to gain it back and by the 4th year I had gained 100 lbs. My father who suffered with Dementia had come to live with us shortly after being married. He past away this last Oct.& at the end of his life he was unable to walk so I was his main care giver which to date has been by far the greatest challenge I have ever taken on. I found myself wearing my husbands size 44 shorts & big t-shirts most of the time, I lacked doing hair,nails & makeup, too. I also questioned if depression came because of my over weightiness or because of other life challenges or both? I have battled weight since the 4th grade I was usually taller & "thick boned" compared to other kids in my class. I just want there to be CHANGE in my life! I even tried out for "Biggest Loser" and got a call back from a casting director but didn't get any further than that! I'm so ready to make change & fit back into my "smaller" & much "cuter" clothes!!! I worry that this could turn out to be just a temporary fix, that the weight can come back after reading some other blogger comments. I suppose we have to keep in mind that we all have some kind of eating issues otherwise we wouldn't be getting sleeved and will have to work out our own causes that brought us to this place in the 1st place if we want true success in this journey. Thanks for reading. It helps to unload sometimes especially when other can relate. Karen My wedding pic 5 yrs ago. & Pic from 'Biggest Loser tryouts 2012

Psych eval aside, I think it's important that you find a counselor to talk to throughout your process.

In many cases, definitely in mine, the weight is a symptom of a problem, not the cause. Losing weight will help you feel better about some things but it isn't a magic pill of instant happy. As much as I told myself otherwise prior to surgery, it became clear to me afterward that I was in shock when I discovered that it wasn't the miracle cure I was expecting.

I think it's a cycle - we have a problem or issue. We feed it. We engage in other behaviors that make us unhappy. We feed that. We feel bad about getting larger, we feel bad about losing control, we feel bad about life - whatever. The point is, we feed that, too. And then we try to diet and lose weight. We fail, repeatedly. So we feel like sad, depressed, fat failures.

And naturally, we feed that, too.

There's a larger issue at hand here. You're going to benefit from having someone to talk to about it. We don't just wake up obese and unhappy one day. Something else is going on that will probably come to the fore as the weight starts to come off.

Good luck,

~Cheri