I've noticed something disturbing about people that make a huge change in their lives. It's seems like they're very judgmental, bitter and mean. For instance, every other comment is like, "I can't wait to see my family/friends/enemies so I can rub it in their faces that I'm super skinny B*** and they are all obese, jealous, slobs." And then someone will say "yeah, they're all obese, jealous slobs or they're super skinny B***, that's why they don't like/accept/love/want you"

Or "now that I'm a super skinny B*** I'm going to be a ***** and sleep with as many people as I can and wear slutty clothes cause that's what super skinny B*** do!"

And I'm not judging anyone here. It's just... That is NOT what thin people do. I think it's a projection of what you THINK. A projection of self hatred. Or what your mom told you to make you feel better. I've known people who have had that run and I've had to tell them, "Noone is jealous of you, you've changed into a vindictive spiteful person. That is why people treat you different." Now I used to be super skinny. Literally 110 lbs at 5'9". I was never a B***, never called anyone a jealous, obese slob. EVERYONE weighed more than me! Even children. I never whored around. Never wore skimpy clothes just to flaunt what I had.

I hope this comes out the right way, and no one takes this personal. Heck I'm never on this board enough to make enemies or friends lol.

Wow I guess I don't see these threads - maybe because I am post op and read mainly threads on fitness and nutrition, and friends updates. There are a lot of folks in the world who are angry and bitter - maybe WLS will improve their outlook

I agree with your sentiment but not necessarily with all your points. I've been overtly discriminated against and cruelly made fun of due to my being obese. As a kid and teen and now an adult.

Not every healthy and fit person I've met was cruel but some are/were.

I don't want vengeance. I've tried really hard to forgive and move on. I cannot forget it as my heart is scarred, but I've moved on. Sometimes it still gets to me and I struggle. Sometimes I'm victorious and sometimes my anger/bitterness bubbles over.

I also think that maybe some who make posts like the ones that have inspired your rant are rants in and of themselves. That VST is a safe place amongst peers to pour out these feelings. Better out than bottled up inside, right?

I look forward to looking and feeling attractive and dressing, not like I want to fade into my surroundings, but like a confident and attractive woman.

I'm married and value fidelity. My marriage is rocky but I am faithful, not faithless.

I believe that those who are showing what may be perceived as negative attitudes haven't forgiven others or themselves. I've done the former but I am still working on the latter.

That said I agree that these feelings and behaviors can be toxic and we should try and help get them through the best we can.

Wow, where are you hanging out that you see that sort of nonsense? Maybe you should find new forums to visit!

I am fortunate enough to be surrounded by friends and family who love me and want to see me succeed.

Wow, I haven't come across any of those posts. I too have had sneers etc, mostly at the gym I stopped going to but will resume in another 25 pounds. Maybe it was just me...I don't know. I do know that people in the gyms are there for their health and not to socialize. Even though I will lose weight, I still have many friends who are over weight. Hopefully the change I am making will help some of my friends.

I don't know anyone like that, but as they say, beauty comes from within. You can be beautiful and thin on the outside and be ugly and hateful on the inside.

I haven't seen those comments either. However, I think most comments like that would come from immaturity.

I agree with your sentiment but not necessarily with all your points. I've been overtly discriminated against and cruelly made fun of due to my being obese. As a kid and teen and now an adult.

Not every healthy and fit person I've met was cruel but some are/were.

I don't want vengeance. I've tried really hard to forgive and move on. I cannot forget it as my heart is scarred' date=' but I've moved on. Sometimes it still gets to me and I struggle. Sometimes I'm victorious and sometimes my anger/bitterness bubbles over.

I also think that maybe some who make posts like the ones that have inspired your rant are rants in and of themselves. That VST is a safe place amongst peers to pour out these feelings. Better out than bottled up inside, right?

I look forward to looking and feeling attractive and dressing, not like I want to fade into my surroundings, but like a confident and attractive woman.

I'm married and value fidelity. My marriage is rocky but I am faithful, not faithless.

I believe that those who are showing what may be perceived as negative attitudes haven't forgiven others or themselves. I've done the former but I am still working on the latter.

That said I agree that these feelings and behaviors can be toxic and we should try and help get them through the best we can.[/quote']

Very well said Amanda! I think we all struggle and are the sum total of our experiences. Fortunately I have met mean fat and mean skinny people. Feeling good about me has nothing to do with those people.