Hi everyone

Its the Christmas holidays and we are supposed to be happy. But I am crying because I am alone. I will spend the day with my brothers and their familys but I feel like a loser because I don't have a partner of my own.

I have struggled with an eating disorder both before and after my banding. I was restricting my food to reach goal but now i am bulimic. I will have to stay as bulimic over the next few days as I will be staying with family and will have to eat. I hope to get back to resticting after that. :faint:

The banding is just the tip of the iceberg. We still have a struggle to fight the food demons. The threat of making my band slip doesn't seem to be enough of a threat at the moment.

Josy

Hi Josy, hope you have a nice Christmas. It must be hard to be alone. Hope you get away from your bulimia as soon as possible. YOu don't want your band to slip . Good luck.

Hopefully you are seeking professional help for your disease. If not, please do. Nobody should feel so alone. Did your surgeon know you had an eating disorder before you had the surgery? Usually if they do, they shouldn't do it. Please get some help and good luck. Try and enjoy your family and don't be so hard on yourself. You deserve to be happy.

Josy

I have been in your place my entire life (except for the bulemia). It wasn't until I was in the low 200's that I even started dating again. I hadn't been kissed for 8 YEARS! So I know what you mean. I am also alone this Christmas. I was sort of engaged until Tuesday, but now I'm as lonely as ever. I think if we are able to focus our efforts this season on other people, we may be able to actually have a decent season. I'm going to get out there and do some service for the next few days. Seeing the blessings that we have despite our problems can really help to cheer you up! Maybe that could help you.

People often find themselves lonely during the holidays. I'm not sure what it is, but I know I am. I just try to be thankful for my health and that I have family to spend it with. I know I am blessed.

As for bulimia that too is a lonely road to have to travel. I sincerly, honestly, and respectfully would encourage you to seek professional help. Bulimia has more to do with an emotional release than with weight. Hang in there!

I spent one lonely Christmas in my late 20's.....never want to do that again....I alienated myself from everyone but quickly smartened up. It is painful to be lonely....I hope you find some peace and happiness with your family on Christmas day. Only you can fix all this...you need help, there are many resources....you need to go after them. You don't have a partner now but that doesn't have to be forever.

And....why do you have to eat because you are with family? Why can't you eat what you know you should be and the quantity?

I hope you have a lovely Christmas, for the New Year please sincerely plan on turning a new leaf and seeking help to overcome your problems...only good things can come from that and maybe a solution to the lonliness.

Carol

Sorry this is so long--you seem to need a pep talk! :eek:

I've been alone for 14 years myself--somehow the holidays just seems to magnify it, especially New Year's Eve! That's my least favorite holiday--everybody seems to have someone special except me!

This Christmas, I'm recovering from surgery so I couldn't drive home to NH to see my family, I couldn't eat anything I cooked, and I spent the day with my son and my ex-husband who can be extraordinarily annoying (thus explaining why he's an ex-husband)! Despite all of this, it was one of the happiest Christmas Days I've had in a long time which sounds really stupid. :loco:

I guess I avoided slipping into my usual huge vat of self-pity this year because I've been working hard on changing my whole outlook on life (check out the butterfly image in my signature). I am very happy this holiday season because I chose to improve my health and had the lapband procedure. For some reason, I don't feel resentful at all about giving up foods I shouldn't be eating any way. I'm still cooking "normal" food for my son and it doesn't bother me which he finds really weird. He's 14 and eats constantly it seems! It makes me happy when I look at my food log at the end of the day and I can see that I stuck to my plan. I took up an old hobby of mine--cross-stitching--again this week. I had forgotten how much I enjoy creating things and it has the added bonus of keeping my hands busy in the evenings so I'm not snacking.

Being in education and a single mom, "my kids" always came first. Focusing on "improving me" has made a huge difference in my outlook about this time of the year. I think it's because I have taken control. I think I might finally be starting to make peace with myself and how I view food.

I guess my point is that maybe you can try to get the most out of this downtime. Really enjoy the time with your family. You are so very blessed to have them in your life. Plug in your favorite tunes (the ones that make you smile, not the depressing ones) when you are alone and reflect about everything that is good about yourself (push out those negative thoughts). Set some goals for yourself (not just weight-loss related ones). Avoid negative people and seek out the positive in everything. :huggie:

As for the bulimia, make it a New Year's resolution to take the first steps to overcome it. Find a professional who can support you. It won't be easy, but you deserve to be healthy.

And by the way, I read postings the other day where someone wrote that a man made a pass at her and she had not reached her goal weight yet! I really believe there's someone special out there for all of us--don't give up hope yet! I haven't--not even after 14 years! :bananapartyhat: